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What you need to know about self-esteem
It is important for each of us to feel needed and loved. And many people think that for this you need an attractive appearance, because this is the only way you have a chance for love. However, this is far from the point, as psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky says.
Today. "Site" I will share the advice of a well-known psychologist and tell you, How to love yourself and increase self-esteem.
Labkovsky argues that absolutely everything in life depends on how a person treats himself. Neither appearance nor any special abilities or talents affect the attitude of others towards us. It only affects how we feel and what we broadcast to the world.
DepositPhotos
Labkowski says: “And now, day after day, I watch the beautiful sex beating with fury over the alleged shortcomings of their appearance. Men also sometimes fight, but not very selflessly - it is not so important for them to be beautiful as to make money.
Women torture themselves with diets and simulators, stab in the face of anything, heels are monstrous. That's fine. But plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such self-mockery is equated with masochism, and those who do it are just unhappy victims, ready to do anything to love them. Absolutely.
All manipulations with appearance, according to Labkovsky, it is from self-doubt. The only problem is that it doesn’t make any sense. You can make yourself lips, perfect body and luxurious hair, but the measure of self-esteem is not appearance.
Confident people do not pay attention to appearance, for them it is almost irrelevant. World history, science and banal life experience have proved it more than once: neither appearance nor high moral qualities play any role in the love, attraction and attitude of others to you.
194593
DepositPhotos
Take a look at the world’s celebrities: Nicole Kidman’s husband or John Lennon’s lifelong love. Ordinary people, without any super-attractive appearance. But happy.
There are so many beautiful but unhappy people around. The most common example is Marilyn Monroe, who was the most desirable woman on the planet. About 90% of men dreamed about her, but she was insanely lonely and unhappy. Now judge how important appearance is.
DepositPhotos
Do you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second, then you need to change not the appearance, but self-esteem. Appearance is a very subjective concept. This is what you see when you look in the mirror. Whether you like yourself or not is the main question.
And here comes self-esteem, self-love and confidence. It is clear that this does not occur from scratch. 99.9 percent. self-evaluation It happened in childhood and was influenced by parents. There is a simple correlation: if the parents were low self-esteem and did not support the child, then he will have the same problem.
If a child is told as a child that they can’t cope, that they’re too small/dumb for anything, then they’ll take it with them into adulthood. Nothing will change, he will just repeat the same scenario. If his mother told him as a child that he should be good, then he will carry this attitude into adulthood. Who will love you if you are not good?
DepositPhotos
If a person grows up with the attitude that love must be earned, that no one will love you for nothing, then his behavior will be appropriate. And from this follows all the experiments on appearance, talents and everything else. Like, I will learn how to cook delicious borscht, I will look beautiful, that's when I will be loved.
Everyone likes them, even though it seems unnatural. Adequate people will be repulsed by this behavior. Confidence is what attracts. It's not just her, though.
Labkowski says, “In order for love, love, or passion to occur, a person must, as they say, “hook.” And here catches not the perfect shape of the nose, flat stomach or beautiful hair (except at the first moment, at which everything can end).
Unconsciously catches something from childhood, association, similarity, smell, gesture, manner of rubbing a button, timbre of voice, in short, some detail resembling a parental home and a parent of the opposite sex. This association does not necessarily have to be happy. And against this all tricks, plastics, dresses and virtues are powerless.
DepositPhotos
For love there is no appearance, there is only character, will and loyalty to oneself. And only this can cause respect, according to Labkowski. What to do if that is not enough? Develop yourself, your qualities and individuality. Do not mock yourself or try to please everyone.
What else do you need to know about self-esteem? If it is low, then your life is hard, as the psychologist says. Let's figure out how to figure out what your self-esteem is.
Signs of low self-esteem
If at least one item about you, then be sure - you have low self-esteem. What do we do about it? First, realize that you have such a problem. Second, stop blaming everyone for your problems. And the most important thing is to start following your desires, to love yourself unconditionally, just like that, for what you are, to allow yourself to dream and strive for something.
Labkowski says, “You’ve read it, you’ve realized it, but what’s next?” I will answer that it is absolutely necessary to work on accepting yourself as you are. Well, for example, try to provide yourself with maximum psychological comfort, respect your desires, devote time (and money), try to enjoy life, taste it, taste it, enjoy it.
The task is to make up for the lack of love, to fill the voids that formed in childhood and youth. Directly set such a goal, consider it a priority, vital and do not wait for others to make you happy.”
DepositPhotos The main goal of this is to learn to love yourself. Not because you lost weight, found a job or did sports, but just like that. Do not judge yourself by appearance or moral qualities, do not compare with others. Don't expect anyone to make you happy.
Love yourself first, make yourself happy. Other people will only show up and want to make you happier when you realize how important and meaningful you are to yourself.
Interesting thoughts of psychologist Labkovsky? Then read our article about what really lies the secret of attractiveness of women.
And even earlier, we shared with you 7 best tips for women Mikhail Labkovsky regarding family, relationships and personal problems.
What do you think about that?
Today. "Site" I will share the advice of a well-known psychologist and tell you, How to love yourself and increase self-esteem.
Labkovsky argues that absolutely everything in life depends on how a person treats himself. Neither appearance nor any special abilities or talents affect the attitude of others towards us. It only affects how we feel and what we broadcast to the world.
DepositPhotos
Labkowski says: “And now, day after day, I watch the beautiful sex beating with fury over the alleged shortcomings of their appearance. Men also sometimes fight, but not very selflessly - it is not so important for them to be beautiful as to make money.
Women torture themselves with diets and simulators, stab in the face of anything, heels are monstrous. That's fine. But plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such self-mockery is equated with masochism, and those who do it are just unhappy victims, ready to do anything to love them. Absolutely.
All manipulations with appearance, according to Labkovsky, it is from self-doubt. The only problem is that it doesn’t make any sense. You can make yourself lips, perfect body and luxurious hair, but the measure of self-esteem is not appearance.
Confident people do not pay attention to appearance, for them it is almost irrelevant. World history, science and banal life experience have proved it more than once: neither appearance nor high moral qualities play any role in the love, attraction and attitude of others to you.
194593
DepositPhotos
Take a look at the world’s celebrities: Nicole Kidman’s husband or John Lennon’s lifelong love. Ordinary people, without any super-attractive appearance. But happy.
There are so many beautiful but unhappy people around. The most common example is Marilyn Monroe, who was the most desirable woman on the planet. About 90% of men dreamed about her, but she was insanely lonely and unhappy. Now judge how important appearance is.
DepositPhotos
Do you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second, then you need to change not the appearance, but self-esteem. Appearance is a very subjective concept. This is what you see when you look in the mirror. Whether you like yourself or not is the main question.
And here comes self-esteem, self-love and confidence. It is clear that this does not occur from scratch. 99.9 percent. self-evaluation It happened in childhood and was influenced by parents. There is a simple correlation: if the parents were low self-esteem and did not support the child, then he will have the same problem.
If a child is told as a child that they can’t cope, that they’re too small/dumb for anything, then they’ll take it with them into adulthood. Nothing will change, he will just repeat the same scenario. If his mother told him as a child that he should be good, then he will carry this attitude into adulthood. Who will love you if you are not good?
DepositPhotos
If a person grows up with the attitude that love must be earned, that no one will love you for nothing, then his behavior will be appropriate. And from this follows all the experiments on appearance, talents and everything else. Like, I will learn how to cook delicious borscht, I will look beautiful, that's when I will be loved.
Everyone likes them, even though it seems unnatural. Adequate people will be repulsed by this behavior. Confidence is what attracts. It's not just her, though.
Labkowski says, “In order for love, love, or passion to occur, a person must, as they say, “hook.” And here catches not the perfect shape of the nose, flat stomach or beautiful hair (except at the first moment, at which everything can end).
Unconsciously catches something from childhood, association, similarity, smell, gesture, manner of rubbing a button, timbre of voice, in short, some detail resembling a parental home and a parent of the opposite sex. This association does not necessarily have to be happy. And against this all tricks, plastics, dresses and virtues are powerless.
DepositPhotos
For love there is no appearance, there is only character, will and loyalty to oneself. And only this can cause respect, according to Labkowski. What to do if that is not enough? Develop yourself, your qualities and individuality. Do not mock yourself or try to please everyone.
What else do you need to know about self-esteem? If it is low, then your life is hard, as the psychologist says. Let's figure out how to figure out what your self-esteem is.
Signs of low self-esteem
- You feel flawed, you feel guilty.
- You're sure life isn't fair to you.
- Your children or spouse do not meet your expectations.
- You get jealous, and you constantly compare yourself to others, often to your own advantage.
- Any choice is flawed (for me it is too much, I am not worthy).
- You depend on the opinions of others.
If at least one item about you, then be sure - you have low self-esteem. What do we do about it? First, realize that you have such a problem. Second, stop blaming everyone for your problems. And the most important thing is to start following your desires, to love yourself unconditionally, just like that, for what you are, to allow yourself to dream and strive for something.
Labkowski says, “You’ve read it, you’ve realized it, but what’s next?” I will answer that it is absolutely necessary to work on accepting yourself as you are. Well, for example, try to provide yourself with maximum psychological comfort, respect your desires, devote time (and money), try to enjoy life, taste it, taste it, enjoy it.
The task is to make up for the lack of love, to fill the voids that formed in childhood and youth. Directly set such a goal, consider it a priority, vital and do not wait for others to make you happy.”
DepositPhotos The main goal of this is to learn to love yourself. Not because you lost weight, found a job or did sports, but just like that. Do not judge yourself by appearance or moral qualities, do not compare with others. Don't expect anyone to make you happy.
Love yourself first, make yourself happy. Other people will only show up and want to make you happier when you realize how important and meaningful you are to yourself.
Interesting thoughts of psychologist Labkovsky? Then read our article about what really lies the secret of attractiveness of women.
And even earlier, we shared with you 7 best tips for women Mikhail Labkovsky regarding family, relationships and personal problems.
What do you think about that?