The effect of a gigolo

Twenty one million one hundred sixty one thousand seven hundred nineteen

A scene from the movie "American gigolo"

A gigolo is a man living in the confinement of women. But if a gigolo is very talented as a gigolo, he doesn't just live on the money of women, he makes all the money of wealthy women voluntarily flow into his pocket. And a large part of its property, too. And even undertaken large loans.

One time I did a lot of rehabilitation of women who were victims of the gigolo. Sometimes a brilliant idea.

The main request of these women "help me get him back." The following query "return help yourself."

That is to say that the main evil from gigolo, that's not what they take away from women the money, and the fact that they are destroying their self-esteem.

But in order to recover from gigolo and in order not to become their victim, you must be very well understood that the destruction of the self is not the goal gigolo and not even the means by which they take money, and the usual "cancel effect".

That is the real gigolo embedded in the identity of the woman as deftly as ethanol, embedded in physical metabolism, making a person alcoholic. A gigolo cause the woman addicted to love, through which she would do anything to have that gigolo next.

The analogy is a gigolo and alcohol literally.

For example, alcohol has the ability to dissolve cell membranes and therefore rapidly enters into the cell, starting up their business.

Gigolo is also able to quickly dissolve boundaries. The effect of the dissolution of borders is very similar to the effect of the dissolution of the membranes, moreover, that the function of cell membranes and boundaries of personality are similar: both need to filter the stream, all nutrients to get inside, all the junk throwing out outside.

The border has a protective function, are not allowed into the personal space of other people, temporarily, until a full scan, and never let those who recognized as harmful. A true gigolo can seem not only his, but also very useful. As he does talk more.

Another unique ability of alcohol – thinning of the blood, acceleration krovotoka and heartbeat despite the fact that the parent bark alcohol has an inhibitory effect. That is, it is a depressant that are perceived by the body as a stimulant. It relieves anxiety and at the same time very exciting actually, even invigorating.

Likewise, there are a gigolo. They know how to divert attention from problems, to remove the disturbing background, and to give courage, a festive state of mind.

And finally, most importantly, why people love alcohol, it stimulates the dopamine receptor. That is, it is a drug that can cause addiction. Addiction, let me remind you, this is the condition of the body when the priority source of pleasure (anti-stress) displaces the life of all other sources and cancel at once causes stress.

Gigolo completely off on the self-esteem of a woman in love. She feels in his presence a lot better than without it. She feels beautiful, smart, talented, extraordinary. And the more this distorted perception, the lower her self-esteem is out of communication with a gigolo. Other men look at her as an ordinary woman, girlfriends don't understand what its singularity. In short, the better a woman with a gigolo, so much the worse without it. Like a drug perecherkivaet receptors, gigolo perecherkivaet the self-esteem of women, and therefore the syndrome is perceived as painful.

But there is alcohol and one tricky trap that is associated with the destruction of self-esteem. The individual's self-esteem, alcohol consumption has two dimensions. In one dimension it steadily increased, because under the influence of alcohol improves self-image. In another dimension of self-esteem is constantly decreasing more and more as people drink, lose respect, reputation, opportunities, interests, work, friends, livelihood.

Real self-esteem of a woman who was the victim of a gigolo, too, all the time is reduced. She loses friends, cease to respect her, laugh at her because she got involved with a gigolo. Therefore, a woman to avoid ridicule, more closed to him as an alcoholic to cope with the stress of desocialization goes into the alcohol deeper.

So when a gigolo begins to want a financial investment, more and more, she goes on about him, does not want to notice, doesn't believe unpleasant doubt, because at any distance gigolo is in pain. Illusions are necessary to it not just for the buzz, and in order not to suffer.

Gigolo cycle similar to the cycle of ethanol. First, he dissolves the boundaries. Then gradually distorts a woman's self-esteem. Then manipulates the syndrome, extorting money out of it.

This is really a talented gigolo, never steals from women. The most talented do not even ask. It gives everything myself. The more talented gigolo, the less he needs to lie. The cleaner the job, the less reason to open a criminal case. For a long time after the gigolo casts a woman, she tries to find him and return. Only after a while, she can think about what would be nice to return their money.

I saw a situation where, two years later, one gigolo found SAT abandoned woman and dragged her for a bloody vengeance, which is one and a half years wanted. But half an hour after meeting, they began a new novel.

But back to the borders. As a gigolo manages these boundaries dissolve?

First of all, we should say that this gigolo, poor women are uninteresting. If you are not rich, but you are using some kind of gigolo, that's not a gigolo. Perhaps it is a lazy man, and he is not happy, he does not like to work, and most likely, this person is in depression or addiction, which deprives him of strength and motivation. From gigolo, a man is characterized in that the unconscious uses that in you and so is your pity, your fear of being alone, your faith in the fact that in any relationship you need to invest a lot before you get something. If this man was conscious gigolo, that is, consciously Orient themselves to life at the expense of women, could do it and wanted to do it, he would choose a woman much more Mature than you.

That is a parasite on the hardworking wives, husbands — parasites inevitably, people in poor condition who can't get out of the loop (by the way, some go out and climb). And gigolo – conscious player in this field, a skilled player, not a poor beggar, and therefore rate it high.

Gigolo uses the fact that the woman is, and what he creates in it. This is his skill and his danger.

Sometimes you have to read about some evil manipulators who try to destroy women's self esteem, and thus paralyze women. But if it were that simple, then for any travaini boor stretched a long train of groupies, and the most popular among the ladies would be Internet trolls. In reality, rude and aggressive people alienate other people. Aggression has a repellent property, and any discomfort, especially a blow to the self-image stimulates the desire to distance yourself.

To the woman who was suffering, how her self-esteem destroyed, and not sent ham away, and tried to please him and fought for his approval, this woman should not be too hard and firmly attached to him. That is, the impact itself is not the destruction of self-esteem and the ability to seek women affection. And then self-esteem can indeed be manipulated, but not to destroy it (people are not so bloodthirsty, imagining how scared they are rather selfish) but in order to obtain for themselves the benefit of using a painful arm. The old rule of training pranic and whip: for granting benefits – the carrot, that is praise for refusing to issue the whip, that is the criticism.

Pay attention to it. It is not the most criticized, is criticized by many. Some just do that scold everyone, but the self-esteem of people to manipulate not can. But if a woman is in an emotional merging with the critic, if her self-esteem entirely in his hands, he does not require any hard and extremely painful injections are so fond of describing "the victim's emotional abusou", it is enough just to make it clear that he was dissatisfied with it.

Those who humiliate and insult their partners, don't have true access to their self-esteem. They have to bring down on their heads tons of curses that somehow hurt. Usually partner themselves with words not climb. If the partner was quiet and hurt, to insult them would not be required. They would be the first gesture has brought everything you need, and do everything as you want Lord. That is, shouts, insults and rudeness is a sign that no gentleman in the pair, but there is two conflicting parties, one of whom may be stronger, but the second lap is not falling, but gives adequate resistance, at least defends. Dependence from each other both in this case, sometimes the dependence is strong, otherwise they would not have endured this hell, but this dependence, as a rule, consists of the fact that they are tied to each other everything they had in life: they have a common house, shared children, common friends, common property, common reputation is, therefore, difficult to disperse, to leave anything else no one wants, prefers to lead an endless war. And the moments of truce inspire both hope that life will improve. That is, material and moral (debt and score people) dependence among the conflicting people there (for this conflict), but the full Mergence in the ego is not none, otherwise someone would be very accessible to the influence and the war would not be required.

Once again I want to repeat that pattern. If the pair is complete fusion at the level of ego, conflict, not even if the merging one, he is submissive, has no resistance, perceives the desire of the second party as their own, in a couple peace and quiet, moments of conflict short and inconsequential (and always mean small separation of borders). If in a couple there is no or little convergence at the level of the ego, but a very strong material and moral dependence (all property, all resources are shared) there is a war, and this war is the more tightened, the stronger the relationship and Razdelna the boundaries of the ego. If in a couple there is no confluence of ego, no one, but depending on the level of external resources either, the couple breaks up rather quietly, without scandals.

The merging of the ego is identified as love, adoration, dissolution. Love is a more Mature feeling, which assumes that the personality is so formed, that has its own center and deep reflection. Love also is a fusion of ego, but it is much better controlled, understood (this does not mean that it is extinguished, the opposite is reflected in hundreds of mirrors) and held from complete dissolution of deep respect to the personality of the partner and the presence of his own personality.

Therefore, although the separation from loved ones can also bring pain, it felt like cutting off a piece from the heart or soul, man is able to realize all these processes and to let go of a loved one, if that distanciruemsa capable of restoring themselves and not die from loss (e.g., death of a loved one). That is infatuation and love differ only in that the second suggests a more Mature (controlled) structure of perception and experience. But if the structure of the immature, the experiences are much more shallow, but sharp and takes possession of a weak ego completely, thrilling him prisoner. Strong love the weak ego is simply not able to resist. Therefore, it is believed that if you have the strength to resist, then the love is weak. Yes, if the ego is weak, it is. A strong ego is ready to experience a much more powerful and deep feeling, without losing yourself. Its like comparing the currents of the river. The current can be very strong, but whether to keep people stability depends on the strength of its supports. On weak legs, a person can be carried out even with a weak stream.

As a gigolo achieves penetration beyond the boundaries of a woman in her ego?

This is done not through manipulation, cold calculations, rational chess moves. Sometimes I think that those who describe the cold manipulation of such seducers, not seen close to any one character, not even listening to detailed stories of actual victims. To dissolve the boundaries of others affect only a private passion, not a rational approach. The border is more or less a resource person is insensitive to impact from the outside, they dissolve from the inside, when a person is sufficiently heated emotions. Only a fanatic can infect other fanaticism, the only emotional person is able to impose (more or less stable) your emotion.

Of course, not every strong emotion touches us, but only that which resonates with our needs. The key, which opens a gigolo border women is a genuine love in them. You need to consider that wealthy women are not starving for attention, so come up with love on an empty place they will not (especially that with small gigolo and negaigoto there permanently). If a poor single woman sometimes small enough sympathy interesting person, so she came up with a mutual feeling, lonely wealthy women has a different Foundation. They do not see worthy itself, don't find enough sincere feelings and something that would bring in their full life celebration. While a feast for hungry women can be any romantic date for sick women a celebration is not easy. That is why the solvent, which is used by the most talented gigolo, this is a real passionate love (that is, strong empathy, the constant sexual passion, sensitivity, over-the-top romanticism and even adoration). That is a real passionate love, if we are talking about passing a very strong border.

And here there are three mysterious question. 1. Why not everyone passionately fall in love dissolves the boundaries of others as a gigolo, and often exactly the opposite – pushes the object? 2. As gigolo so passionately in love, but not to dissolve and not to fall under the power? 3. How did he even manages to take and fall in love passionately and sincerely on the basis of Mercantile calculation? published Author: Marina Komissarova P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/tag/%D0%96%D0%B8%D0%B3%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%BE