Stunning art Irina Meladze on a selected number of grounds on which it is possible for a short time and without wasting time on unworthy candidate for life partner, identify who is trying to get close to your heart!
Exemplary portraits of men with whom possible partnerships:
1. Despotic tyrant
4. Infantile man
5. Dependence of hard liquor
Partnerships and healthy emotional union possible when the two paired focused on mutual respect, mutual assistance and support. Never in the partnership one of the pair will not be at the expense of another. Use one of the partners, to take and not to give in return, just a parasite on the body of relations - the principle on which to build relationships face with personality disorders: daffodils and psychopaths, and they are likely to have comorbid the mixed variants of personality disorder. The relationship with them - a straight road to the tyrannical-union victimization where the victim suffering and crying will you. The most important and at the same time, the most difficult thing - to recognize such a man, and in time to protect itself, just to escape from it.
There is a certain number of grounds on which it is possible, and in a relatively short period of time and without wasting time on unworthy candidate for life partner, identify who is trying to get close to your heart.
This chapter provides an approximate portrait of a man, with whom relations should be avoided. In order to make you more comfortable and easier to understand facial features of any question, we will use not only special terminology, but also to operate familiar to all of us socially defined.
1. Despotic tyrant (pronounced socio-adapted psychopath)
A key feature of - personality disorder, a type of psychopathy, a man without conscience, morality, and the emotional component. Man, expression of feelings which - the absolute sham!
A possible type of relationship - tyrannically - victimization. Partnerships are not possible. The only way out of the relationship - the gap and complete cessation of communication.
The characteristic features of psychopathy: 1-8, 11, 13, 19 (below you will find a list of key features of psychopathy).
Imagine a man who has no conscience and do not know how to feel. Not pretending to cold indoor and evil, because "it all got and want to play angry", but actually closed, cold and evil man who never will be different, because I do not know how and will not learn. Never. Imagine a man who does not care about the tears, heartache, sorrow, joy, happiness, and other emotional states of other people. And do not care, not because of a temporary bad mood, but because he is not physically able to understand and feel at least something similar. Imagine a man who lives among the people just because you can use them for their own purposes and benefits. Presented? Or difficult to believe and understand that there are robots here are without conscience and emotions?
Alas, they are real. Approximately 1% of the population are psychopaths - people who are not able to establish anything like a strong social ties due to complete a total of physiological indifference.
But immediately recognize this monster is almost impossible. All of the women affected by psychopaths and narcissists married to a great love for the ideal man, because to distinguish a man from a normal man with a personality disorder - is extremely difficult, because the first year or two psychopaths or daffodils or their hybrid versions seem completely normal, or even the perfect man. And, in fact, wear a mask of normality, diligently and deliberately pretending deliberately playing rehearsed the role of a noble man. And this is even more terrible - not a figure of speech! Many of them really like actors rehearsing a show of emotion, which is waiting for them to unsuspecting woman. In the truest sense of the word, some of them are in front of a mirror and brings ever facial mask, then putting on one or the other depending on which of the higher moral sentiments should be demonstrated.
Why do they need it? The fact that they lack the natural human conscience, morality, compassion, responsibility and affection for loved ones, even to the children (they irritate them because of their futility). Women need such a man as a source of consumer services, and money ... Friends psychopath does not need, so visibility psychopaths create friendly relations with those who have something might be useful. And if the psychopath is also narcissistic - it is not just immoral, and indifferent to the limit, it also devalues, demeans and morally destroys his partner.
But the real face of a psychopath shows after a year or two. But at the initial stage of relations it is ideal! Ideal fabulous! Sometimes even pretentious! It was on this hook catches most women, sincerely believing that they finally managed to meet a prince from a fairy tale! Therefore, it would be disappointing as it may sound, be wary of the perfect man! Do not rush to converge with those gorgeous. The harsh truth of life is that the full mentally healthy men are imperfect.
It is important to understand that psychopathy and psychosis - different things. Psychopaths do not rave and have no hallucinations. They are quiet, perfectly adequate and maintained in terms of intelligence and consumer self-service. Their main flaw - the lack of moral conscience and the higher emotions. Because of their high moral artful skill to play, emotionally full of people it is difficult to distinguish even psychologists and psychotherapists. They depict the emotions on his face, not actually experiencing them.
Psychopaths - the greatest masters of manipulation. Lack of conscience and morality, along with a great ability to mimic the environment and simulate the feeling, allowing them frighteningly talented and extremely convincingly mislead emotionally open, moral (sometimes too) women. Perhaps their only real sense - increased aggressiveness. And the first couple of years they carefully monitor the relationship and hide. It hunters, masterfully puts traps. No hunter takes his victim as an equal person. The victim is always necessary for the satisfaction of the hunter of some of its needs. Partnerships with such input is not possible.
The presumable reason for this personality disorder - impaired the functioning of the amygdala - part of the brain.
But it does not matter whether the detected exact cause of personality disorders or not, it will never not going anywhere. Severe cases, subject to medical containment, but no more. Cherish the hope that one day wake up the conscience of the psychopath, it is useless. The only thing you can do if you found near a psychopath - get away from him.
Psychopaths are divided into two conditional groups - socially adapted, that is, living in society, and marginalized or criminals. In everyday language, the second group defines the word "complete bespredelschik" or even "scumbags." They are criminals, whose brutality knows no bounds. Fortunately, the probability of finding such a person considerably low, as they soon fall under police surveillance or even imprisonment. But the first group, alas, can be easily found among ordinary people. And it's easy to take for an ideal. But after a couple of years this meeting always turns into a personal tragedy. And yesterday, the perfect man receives domestic title of "moral monster", "social predator", "rascal", "bastard", "intriguing", "shameless impostor," "hypocrite" and so
In this chapter, we put a checklist of psychopathic traits. If you suspect that something was wrong in his chosen one, please answer these questions. This will give you the opportunity to pre-assumption about what people next to you!
Positive answers to questions from the 1st to the 8th + 18th, 19th and 20th say that the probability is high that your choice - adapted social and Psycho.
Positive answers to questions from the 1st to the 17th general + 18, 19 and 21 say that you are more at risk, because the risk of becoming a victim of the criminal psychopath!
Deceptive Charm (skill convincing melody, interesting and vaguely say, the ability to produce the most favorable first impression, pretense and hypocrisy).
Unhealthy self-esteem (highly exaggerated ideas about their abilities, about self-esteem, arrogance and sense of superiority over others)
Pathological lying (insight, subtlety with moderate psychopathy, deception, deceit, intrigue and dishonesty, dishonesty - in severe psychopathy)
Treachery, cunning and a penchant for manipulating other people, in order to obtain personal benefits.
The inability to experience higher moral feelings - remorse, compassion, empathy, regret, guilt and shame
The superficiality of emotions (inability to experience deep feelings, emotional poverty - a limited range of feelings, pretending feelings, coldness in interpersonal relationships, self-centeredness)
Callousness, cruelty, lack of empathy, coldness, contempt, carelessness towards other people.
Irresponsibility (refusal to accept responsibility for their actions, denial of responsibility for his words and attempt to manipulate others in order to absolve themselves of responsibility)
The need for constant mental stimulation (excessive need for new, exciting experiences, risk tolerance as an escape from boredom)
Financial parasitism (intentional manipulation in relation to other people in order to live for others, to exploit other people's financial, selfish attitude to the finance and property of others as his own, the use of financial dependence of other people for the purpose of personal gain)
Weak behavioral control (rapid expression of negative feelings, verbal abuse and inappropriate and unacceptable ways to express anger)
Failure to set realistic long-term goals (inability to develop and implement long-term plans to achieve their goals with their work)
Impulsiveness (tendency to make hasty unplanned acts without thinking and taking into account their consequences)
The failure to fulfill its obligations or refusal to perform its obligations and responsibilities.
Antisocial behavior in adolescence (13-18 years)
Problem behavior in childhood (lots of dysfunctional problem behavior before the age of 13 years)
Cancel parole or parole violation.
Promiscuity (disorderly life, numerous connections with the superficial familiarity, non-selectivity and promiscuity in the choice of partners)
Numerous short-term marriages and divorces (lack of genuine commitment to a long-term relationship).
Antisocial behavior, the tendency at the first opportunity to break the law (including manifest in individuals who have never been arrested or convicted)
Additional feature - and thinking through the use of behavioral strategies to deceive and mislead.
Use of the environment - a business card of a psychopath. Everything that surrounds psychopath - for him just the resources and people is not important, or money, or thing. Psychopaths make efforts to achieve wealth only if they receive interest on the process of making money (which is rare), and if they own physical comfort is important. And they prefer to earn without burdening itself a moral side to achieve financial strength.
In most cases, financial problems in psychopaths appear long. And solves most of the expense of relations with a woman. Property psychopaths - is usually inherited, gifts, "light" or "dirty" money. Due to poor emotional and volitional activity to earn their own labor, they do not consider it necessary. In case of need, psychopaths prefer to put the expected socio-mask to be attached to someone, for example, to ensure that women - assistant for housing, registration and a hot dinner. And once they meet their needs, as "a mask of decency" becomes no longer needed. The behavior of the psychopath is transformed at least indifferent, to a maximum of aggressive - violent.
Psychopaths know that fear - a powerful weapon that can give control over people who are weaker physically and / or emotionally. That is why in a pair with a tyrannical-victimization relationship so common manifestation of physical force. Roughly speaking, the psychopath did not disdain to raise his hand on his wife and children, and beat the woman with whom live exactly as long as it is forgiving and will tolerate. (And, as we have said many times, we are prone to codependency woman suffering years of humiliation and beatings). A woman who lost psychopaths necessity rigidly debarred or throw if finally ceased need it. The woman, from which there is no sense to wait for help, uninteresting psychopath.
If psychopath advantageous to pretend that he is a full-fledged highly moral man, he will play this role, often quite talented. Psychopaths alien nobility, but if necessary, their actions look like noble.
If the psychopath is in the money and social position, behind it stretches trail of deceit, lies, betrayal, manipulation and other ugly stories. Therefore, psychopaths do not have really close friends. Usually next to them are naive people, or they will take advantage of, or are going to use. That is why it is important to pay attention to whether there is a friend of a man whom you consider as a possible partner in life as well as try to check it in "trouble." Ask a man to help someone who is for him can not be useful, and concludes that there is conscience and morality.
In the early stages of a relationship can give a psychopath opinion, or rather micro-movements of eyes and facial muscles mikromimika. In the process of social dialogue - adapted psychopaths searchingly "studying" the interlocutor, in order to adjust to it and simulate the expected emotion. At this point, they lose self-control and give themselves an "empty, as though searching gaze. Just "speaking" is full of anger eyes of a psychopath, as he looks at his companion, who failed promanipulirovat. Remember psychopath need power. To use a human, you have to take it under control. If psychopath that fails, he gets angry and gives herself look.
A key feature of - financial lives by women, but it does not recognize their dependence.
A possible type of relationship - tyrannically-victimization.
Approximate portrait: social - adapted psychopath.
The characteristic features of psychopathy: 1-8, +10, +18, +19, +21.
The man, who prefers to live at the expense of women, or whatever it is called - a gigolo usually looks after himself very well, fashionable and expensive dressed. It has a well-groomed skin and neat manicure. He prefers expensive perfume, willingly uses luxury accessories. Demonstrates excellent upbringing and chivalry. Alphonse says nice and smoothly. Brilliantly caring and masterful, then they say, throw dust in the eyes. Such talk, "he was so handsome that he wanted to touch it." All kind a man gives the impression of a respectable, wealthy and financially independent person you can trust.
Reinforced confidence, which shows a gigolo, fills his strongest personal magnetism. Alfonso plays the image of the "perfect man", plays the role of a guarantor of financial stability, which has quickly for him is strong and financially independent women. "He does not need my money / apartment / car - I think the potential victim attention gigolo - he has at most with the money all right, he needed myself. How long have I been looking for a man who will love me for my human qualities, not the wallet. " That's what counts gigolo.
Usually the victim attention gigolo become material provided women with a high sense of social responsibility, living by the principle "I am good, and should be, that simply has to help those in need».
Relations with Alphonse are always built using the following exemplary scheme:
From one to six months you are meeting with business, financial acumen man.
Why is that?