The three pillars of happiness "want", "can" and "should"
Every man is born for happiness. However, how many of those who can say that he is really happy? Certainly, only a few of you will answer in the affirmative. So what do you need?Happiness is to the total content consisted of three concepts: "want", "can" and "should".
But we, most often, they are not the same. If I want something I don't. If I have to, I don't like it. How to get your Affairs in order? If you want, but I can't, then try to learn. Any activity, work is good. You just need to act.
We have different desires. But they are also important sort. For example, the desire to drink is unnatural. It leads to inhibition of development of personality. From these conflicting desires you want to get rid of. Actions should lead to the development of the individual. Strategy work is that as much as possible to be able to. People in the first place seeks to satisfy their desires.
When you choose a goal, you'll first learn leads to it on the way you should go. If it's not your way, then you must turn around. The right way pushed internal forces.
It is known that the tree aspires to grow up. If he doesn't, it begins to put the branches aside. When the obstacle in his way disappears, it again grows up.
If you start to think – decide, and if decided, go for it.
In our club razrabotannykh decision-making. It is cenuine to remember the first thought that came to mind, which is correct.If this fails, then you need to rely on fate.
The main act, don't hesitate. Should not be afraid of making mistakes, failure is seven times more useful success.
Trouble made to realize their mistakes and next time behave correctly. Why seven times? In the brain the positive emotions is 35% and negative – 5%. Therefore, when a person is ill, he begins to think. Failures keep us in good shape, they do not need to be afraid, without them there is no development.
For this reason I would like to recall the legend of Polyketone the ring.
Poligrat, o ruler of Samos, was very fortunate. The Egyptian king Amasis gave him advice. He said if you continue in the same spirit, at any moment fortune turned into a large failure, and in order to avoid the envy of the gods, you should choose a valuable thing and throw it away. Poligrat chose your favorite ring and threw it far out to sea. This loss was very saddening ruler. But one day the fisherman caught a fish that was sent straight to the Royal table. When the cook began to prepare the dish, then pulled out her lost ring. Again Policyto incredibly lucky, and he began to rely too much on your luck. Once again he attacked the neighboring country, which led to the terrible death of the ruler.Don't try to change circumstances and other people, and change itself, and prisposobili circumstances.
The circumstances are trying to change mentally immature personality. Ideally, you need to change yourself and your view of the situation. For example, I used to be afraid of heights and avoided trips to the mountains. They awakened in me the panic and anxiety. Today, the mountains beckon and excite me. What happened? Have you changed the mountain? No, they remained the same. I have changed myself. Mentally Mature and mentally immature people can be in one place, but live in different worlds.Signs of mental maturity:
- A Mature person acts.
- People, mentally immature, directs all efforts on the device personal life. For a Mature personality are more important things, the acquisition of independence. Personal such a person finds itself. In my practice, met the losers who complained about problems with the search of the second half. I advised them to start to earn more. And, really, after a while their personal life was adjusted, in other words, there is much more choices of the second half.
- The needs of Mature mental perspective of a person depend on his success. Immature people will copy them and increase the size.
- A Mature person arranges their Affairs independently, immature wants for it did anyone else.
- Mentally immature person cares what he looks like. Mature person not to worry about it. But she always looks good.
- The immature person seeks to occupy a high position. Such a person wants to have a lot, but not engaged in personal growth. Adults the position comes of course. It is a product of personal growth.
Many of my wards are experiencing difficulties due to the fact that they try to seem. Really need to be. So, there is one interesting experiment: stand on tiptoe, and note the time it will idle. How long did you do it? Unlikely, because it's not your height. You can't stay in this position for a long time. But spiritual growth is limitless.It is necessary to put only the high purposes, since little is only one way to large – a lot.
Of course, we should not forget that the goals should be realistic. Remember, the life you start with sperm, which then needed to take the first place among millions of others. Small goal to nothing lead, most will achieve at least something. For example, a perpetual motion machine can be invented? And no need to do this. As well as to re-educate another person you never will, you can not try to. Put small goals is characteristic of neurotic personalities.Man you need to like three people: yourself, your boss and sexual partner.
Thus, it should be borne in mind that the wife (husband) can disperse and have to quit my job. Only from itself can not escape. So the first thing you need to like yourself. Many people argue with this statement, remembering the children. They are only in fourth place. The kids leave, and much sooner than it will happen physically. In the 12-14 years they are starting to despise parents who do not understand them. In 20 years with the right upbringing a child leaves home and completely separated. But the family, if built correctly, can survive for much longer, and 40 and 50 years.
You can not live only for the sake of the child. It should be brought up so that he could feed itself for years in 20. Moreover, it is necessary to tear not only with children but also for parents. The development is due to the fact that our children won't listen to us. Otherwise we would live in a cave. Any new cause protest.It is possible to allocate three stages of innovation:
1. this can't be it;
2. in this there is something;
3. the only way it should be.Only manage the moving car
I would like to say a little bit about what I like to call fate. How to get out of the script of life? Initially we are programmed for growth, but begin to act "viruses", and he does the circles. The fate of man should move higher. Even Maslow said that the complaints would never end, but at their level it is possible to judge level of needs. For example, the person complains of lack of cars is one thing, but if he wants a garage that is an entirely different level. To change the fate – you need to get out of the scenario. Change itself, then change the script. And most importantly, you need to be a good opinion of himself.
We all exceptions created in a single copy, so it is always first. Do not copy another, you need to do yourself. Everyone knows the adage that a soldier must dream to become a General. Over the years I've rethought it. I came to the conclusion that it is necessary to dream of becoming a General, to be a good soldier. If you do nothing, how can you help? Out of the swamp of their own destiny need to come out. Importantly, the dirt left on you after that have sprouted again and are not tightened.Don't be afraid to look stupid, afraid to be.
This is an obvious known truth. Do not be afraid of condemnation. You have to use your ability, but don't want to get out beyond them.Work on yourself. Do not think about other
If you do so, you will notice how quickly it will increase the quality of the activities. As a result, in fact, is the product properly organized activities. For example, for a doctor the main thing is to correctly assign the treatment. Don't worry that the recommendations will not be run, this is not the work of a specialist. You need to stop to focus on others and focus on your work.
If you want to save yourself, stop judging yourself as evaluates your neighbor.
In the middle ages the famous writer said: "I can get to speak well of yourself, but to make people think good will". So no need to turn around at the others. It is important to follow your own path. For happiness to walk is not required. People in search of happiness recalls the old woman who lost the glasses that are on her head. One of the common sayings is that if you want to know where your main enemy – look in the mirror. We only have to hurt myself. And only we can fix it. Self-development and self-knowledge is the only key leading to success.
Author: Michael Litvak
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©