Michael Litvak: do Not confuse sex with love

Lately my views have changed.

Before, I human needs are arranged in the following sequence:

  • food instinct,
  • defensive
  • sexy
  • the instinct of leadership (satisfaction with a sense of self-importance).

I thought that the main instinct is food. While he is not satisfied, the person anything else can not think. When a person is tormented by hunger, he risks his life to get food and water.

But if he's not hungry, then comes the turn to meet the defensive instinctthat is manifested in the acquisition of apartments and tailoring.

Only then, I thought, was time for the sexual instinct.

Last but not least, thought I, I had to think about satisfying feelings of self-importance. This feeling can be satisfied, from my point of view, only through personal growth, acquiring skills and becoming a professional class. Automatically then have the money, and growing social status.

And really, I had people who were more or less safely with the satisfaction of food and defensive instincts. And usually all the problems revolved around the sexual instinct and feelings of self-importance (the instinct of leadership).

I must say that most of the people approached me with requests for satisfaction of his sexual instinct. And they kept talking about love. Less of a man troubled by the problem of satisfaction of feelings of self-importance.

When I analyzed the material, found that the vast majority of people seeking requests for satisfaction of the sexual instinct, men are not held, do not make a career, do not become top-class experts, often simply not able to support themselves financially.

Then I realized that these people are using the solution to sexual problems want to satisfy a sense of self-importance, yet not taking the appropriate position in society, unable to provide for themselves. Moreover, through the decision of sexual problems they want to solve the problems. I this phenomenon is called latent prostitution, i.e. hidden, not obvious, often unconscious by a subject infected by it. Often this sin of women, but such men are.


Describe briefly the essence of this phenomenon.

I was invited to beauty school to hold classes on the psychology of communication. Students of this school were girls aged 12-16 years, children of quite wealthy parents. They were taught to apply beautiful makeup, beautiful walk, beautiful dress, beautifully set the table, etc. When I asked the purpose of their present life, they told me almost in unison said, "to Find a man!". I calmly asked them: "maybe to become a man?".

This is the phenomenon when a person wants to solve all their financial and social problems through the marriage, I called latent prostitution. Girl wants to live for her husband, instead living with her husband. A hundred years ago, this desire may be consistent with historical conditions. Now it looks, from my point of view, manifestation of latent prostitution. Unfortunately, I repeat, this phenomenon is observed among men. The woman is the main source of material well-being, and the husband still tries to manage her finances.

The lesson we had enough interested. Many girls have realized the delights of financial independence, one of which is manifested in the ability to sleep with whomever you like and not with those who have. However, the more I learn in this school were not admitted.

E. Bern well said that sex is one competitor — it. And in the case of no competition. So now I believe that one who is very concerned about sexual problem is not a very efficient operative. He's not going or he's just not an interesting case. After all, the energy that the body releases to work, you need to do something with. Here in the sex she gets. And if sex before beginning to engage teenagers, it's just because in school, there is little pedagogical process.

A "love of drama" seem to me the roar, which will appear in Palace of culture of a large plant, if it will put the factory equipment and it will start to work there. If so long continues, the Palace of culture will collapse. That's why love drag looks very tragic. And can end in tragedy. Recall the story of Romeo and Juliet. I think that if they were engaged in interesting work, like the teenager, the tragedy would not have happened.

That's why I have all these "drama and tragedy" called love drag.

Now it seems to me that well and successfully solve the sexual problem and to create a full family can only be a good industrialist. By the way, a little note for those who are infected with latent prostitution. A good operative is not very well looked. Anyone have a good steak, he cares little about the garnish. But for them is arranged a hunt. So I want to warn successful — beware the seductive siren sirens. Below the head they have claws.




We often sexual attraction is called love. Love and sex are two different things. And only one kind of love meets sex is erotic love.

Want to give a definition of love Erich Fromm, which we use in practice: "Love is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love." As can be seen from the definition — love is rather an action than a feeling. In this approach, all submission move or take a different focus.


1. Instead of talking, no one to love, the question is: can you love? Then it turns out that love can only physically healthy, spiritually developed and economically independent people. But those are very few.


2. Love is never tragic, even if it is not mutual. Lack of reciprocity can only cause disappointment in the one who loves, and rather about yourself. This will be the chagrin about the object, which did not accept my love.

My dear readers, I am writing this article active? Right, active! I am interested in your development? Yes interested. The one who took my love and with it acquired new skills, improved their quality of life? Yes, improved! I am glad of it! And those who did not accept my love? Except for me it's tragic? No, of course, but I am disappointed for them. It took my love, it would have been better.


3. In this approach, the underlying love is the love of ourselves. Love of self allows a person to develop themselves and to organise their actions. He realizes that when he reads necessary books, exercise and acquiring new skills, in this moment he loves himself. When drinking vodka, nothing spends time, at this point he does not love himself. This is a basic love.

If I do not love yourself, then I am deprived of the chances of happiness in the erotic love. I don't like, then I'm bad. And in this case I fell in love with a woman, then, as an honest man, I have to leave her. You can't shove shit up your loved one.


4. People need love: in early childhood — maternal and later paternal. This allows you to get a profession and learn to love yourself and others.

Then comes the turn of erotic love. Love you mom and dad, you can judge by how many you got skills that allow you to stay afloat in the stormy ocean of modern life, to earn happiness in the erotic love.

Sex is another matter. It's a biological need. To sex we are attracted as draws us to water, food, etc., but still weaker. Try not to drink a day or two, you will see how you will irresistibly drawn to water. You have just been thinking about.

Do you think that if water even two days will not extract, you'll die. If you think about the object of your "love" is not love, but attraction.


Also interesting:

Michael Litvak: we women are raised in the style of latent prostitution

Michael Litvak: Love is like pregnancy. Either it is or it is not


For some, especially immature people, it ends in tragedy. Not having achieved the object of love, they commit suicide. In milder cases, ask for help, in the worst case — to a friend (friend), in the best case — to a professional, who will help the person to learn to love myself. Then will come the happiness of erotic love.published

Author: Michael Litvak

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: litvak.me/statyi/article_post/ne-putayte-seks-s-lyubovyu


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