The psychologist told you what to do with a person who hurt you Bashny.Net

If the human soul is dark, then in this world people are like a bright light that points the way. One of these can be considered Mikhail Litvak - the author of the concepts "Scenario Reprogramming" and "Psychological Aikido". Psychotherapist and candidate of medical sciences Mikhail Litvak set himself the goal of making people a little happier. To this end, he tried to communicate simple truths to the whole world. In his books, he talks about what words of forgiveness are, what the “right” way means for each person, and what things to focus on to find peace of mind.



Wikimedia Psychotherapist has published more than 30 books, some of which have become international bestsellers. And according to the method of Mikhail Litvak “Child, Adult and Parent”, many people who have read his books very quickly and effectively resolve conflicts. We offer to get acquainted not only with this technique, but also with the most valuable tips from the luminary of psychological sciences.

When it is necessary to say words of forgiveness, and when farewell Man is a social being, and our mental balance largely depends on the ability to coexist in this society. According to Mikhail Litvak, the secret is to learn to interact with others while maintaining your independence and authenticity.

Independence is loneliness? No, of course not. But the ability to be alone depends on how independent we are. The psychologist is deeply convinced that only the person who feels comfortable with himself can truly love. Otherwise, it is no longer love, but the search for another person who will fill the void in the heart. The therapist remembers:

I once asked girls aged 12 or 16 what they wanted in life when they grew up. To which the girls replied that they wanted to find their man. Maybe you don't have to look for anyone. Maybe we should be that kind of person. ?



The best indicator of spiritual maturity is when you are not bored with yourself. According to Mikhail Litvak, the best things people do alone. Such things include works of art, deep meditation, deepening into science, self-knowledge.

Mother must have told you as a child: whoever you are with, you will get it. Every parent is afraid that their child will be in bad company. But human consciousness is much more complex than it may seem at first glance. Especially if the person is old enough.

Working in a team, it is important to remember that it is not necessary to adapt to the standards and principles of the company. The most important thing is to preserve your individuality. And, with the right level of identity and confidence, this will not be a problem for the team itself. However, it is only necessary to give a slackness, bend or resemble alien habits, and the process of “turning into a wolf” will be difficult to stop.



Unsplash Success is 7 times less useful than a mistake or failure It is said that you learn from mistakes, but this is not said about rapid success. You see, a successful person is often someone who has made a lot of mistakes. Otherwise, this person is probably just lucky. It is failures that become the point of growth, and by overcoming them, a person becomes less vulnerable to other failures. They become challenges, not problems.

Mikhail Litvak uses the same approach to explain depression. It is given to a person to think about himself, to reflect, to mourn for his personality. It's a global work on mistakes.

And even in choosing a career path, it is worth listening to the advice from the book “Psychological Aikido”: do not choose the straight path, choose the right one, because not every straight path is the right one.



If a person talks a lot about others, he has nothing to say about himself. It's hard to argue. The problem is that human nature is drawn to gossip, it is a way of reliving the experience. But this does not mean that when discussing other people, you need to talk about the bad.

When a man has hurt you, be sure he knew it. And even harm caused by negligence is also harm. After all, people did not bother to think about the consequences, about how this can affect the people around them. Therefore, if you forgive another nasty thing, be sure that you are likely to get a pig again. What to do to avoid being known as a vindictive person?



Unsplash Words of forgiveness are important. Goodbye, but leave. Do not leave people who are capable of meanness, and do not stay with them yourself. Another important aspect of forgiveness is that we must always forgive sincerely. It is much better not to forgive and honestly say about it than to forgive in words and hold in the soul resentment.

A person needs to like only three people: first of all, himself, his partner and his boss Pay attention that there are no parents or even close friends on the list of Mikhail Litvak. Because their opinion, while important, should not be something for which to change yourself. Relationships with your partner and boss are important foundational lives. And, of course, the relationship with yourself, but we talked about it.



Based on the advice of the therapist, you should do the following: apologize, ask at what price the interlocutor estimates his services, pay and leave. There is nothing worse than manipulators who poison life. Guilt manipulation is the most common, simple and effective of all. Perhaps this is why many parents or partners try to use guilt for their own purposes, accusing them of ingratitude. With such people it is better not to have any business, they will always be few.



Unsplash Words of forgiveness: how to quickly resolve the conflict We share with you the most valuable technique from Mikhail Litvak, which allows you to quickly set up communication. According to his theory, we can be in three states of aggregation: the child, the adult and the parent. These are our roles that we play directly with our children and parents, as well as with friends, bosses and even strangers.

When people are in two different roles, there is often conflict. Therefore, to establish contact with the child, you need to move into the role of a child. To conduct business negotiations - an adult who talks to adults. If a conflict occurs, it is likely to occur between two different roles. And to smooth it out, you need to reflect the role of the interlocutor.



Unsplash Mikhail Litvak thinks big. He is also convinced that there is no masculine and feminine logic, that success cures resentment, and that our greatest enemies are ourselves. And the last piece of advice, which is so popular with those who have read the literature of the psychologist: do as you want and never ask permission - suddenly they will refuse? Share in the comments, which of the tips of the philosopher and doctor you like the most.