I hate all existing clichés about forgiveness.
I know every proverb, every council, every conventional wisdom, because I was trying to find answers in the literature. I read all the posts in the blog dedicated to the art to release anger. I wrote out quotes Buddha and learned them by heart - and none of them worked. I know that the distance between the "solution is simple" and this sense of peace can be irresistible. I know.
Forgiveness - a jungle for those of us who crave justice. The idea that someone will go unpunished after what he did hurt. We do not want to keep our hands clean - traces of blood of the offenders would be completely arranged us. We want to level the score. We want them to have experienced myself the same thing and we have.
Forgiveness seems a betrayal of itself. You do not want to give up in the fight for justice. Anger burns inside you and poison you own poison. You know this, but I still can not let go of the situation. Anger becomes a part of you - like the heart, brain or lungs. I know the feeling. I know the feeling when the rage in the blood beats in time with your pulse.
But here's the thing to remember about anger: it is instrumental emotion. We are angry because we want justice. Because we think that it will benefit. Because we believe: we meaner, the more changes we can make. Anger does not understand that the past is over and the damage was already done. He says that revenge is all correct.
Be angry - it's like constantly picks open bleeding wound, believing that in this way you will save yourself from the scar formation. If the person who hurt you, one day will come and sutured with such incredible precision that from a cut will be over. The truth about anger is that it is simply refuse treatment. you scared, because when the wound is prolonged, you will need to live in a new, unfamiliar skin
When you boil all, forgiveness seems impossible. We would like to forgive, because the mind, we understand that it is a healthy choice. We want peace, tranquility, offering forgiveness. We want to release. We want this to be seething in his brain has stopped, but nothing we can not help myself.
Because the main thing for the forgiveness of us so no one has told: it is not going to fix anything
Forgiveness means giving up hope for a different past
Forgiveness means taking personal responsibility - not for destruction but for restoration. The decision on how to regain peace.
Forgiveness does not mean that your wine offenders smoothed
Forgiveness - is not the triumph of injustice. It is about creating a private equity own karma and destiny. The idea is to get back on its feet with the decision not to be unhappy because of the past. Forgiveness - is understanding that your scars will not determine your future.
Forgiveness does not mean that you give up. It means that you are prepared to gather strength and move on.