I write and write — all can be forgiven?
And is it necessary? There is a really serious crime — including fathers doing terrible things, unfortunately. And that is to forgive? To forget? Make? Love? Isn't it?
I think in this case the question wording and concepts. When we are talking about the fact that you don't want and can't forgive someone, what we mean? Most often, they do not want to see, to hear, to communicate with him, to fend for themselves closer to have a relationship with him. Although the part about forgiveness?
Separate flies from cutlets. Part one — forgiveness is a process that happens inside us, part two — the restoration of relations.
They are not necessarily related to each other, not necessarily. These are two different universes. But when we consider that to be one and the same, then your big and small wrongs and keep it straight. As an argument why I will no longer communicate with you, in case I need one day to explain. But who are we doing worse?
If a person has caused you serious pain and you don't want him to communicate more — you have every right to be.
Without any excuses, arguments, and other things. Just do not communicate, allow yourself that luxury.
But why these resentment — a nasty and sticky to wear in the most important place of your body, in your heart? Why should they poison your own life?
Even if this man is your father, and he caused you a lot of pain instead of protected and preserved, it is still worth to forgive — to let go of resentments from my heart. To clear it up. And then you decide for yourself — do you want to chat or not. It does not need the cards from the past, it is enough to assume responsibility and decide that enough is enough, you don't need it anymore. You don't have to communicate. You are not required to do so only because the man is your father. What matters is that inside all was quiet, calm, relaxed.Forgiveness is your inner work, in which there can be a second person.
It is nothing to do. There is only you, your heart and the pain and dirt in it.
You look at the wounds of their hearts and allow them not to bleed. You sew them dezinficiruy, give them useful enough attention (that is, not just look at them and cry). That's what forgiveness is.When we talk about forgiveness, remember that the most important to us ourselves.
Maybe this would be profitable Kul old grudges to carry, but the benefit of this is also kind of rotten. Moreover, it is also hard, smells bad and over the years more and more spoiled. Suffer from this yourself. You and your body. Your psyche. You are poisoning yourself from the inside out. The second person doesn't feel these pangs, alas.
Remember the saying that to be offended is to swallow poison in the hope that they will die by someone else. It's true. Resentment eats you first.
She can take control of your body and you'll be really sick. And can poison your entire life, despite its outward appearance. But there's something else equally important.
If I offended, then I don't trust the Lord, think It is for me to not intercede and did not protect. Instead allow Him to give everyone a well-deserved, instead of letting Him take care of me, I begin to seek justice, carrying in his own heart bags offense. It is also harmful "I", as well as with men. Absurd and useless.In this world all comes back to the man. Both good and bad.
So you should relax and cease to consider himself a judge.
In my life, never — never! — was not such that the person has done evil to me, and he never came back. Yes, this is not always happening immediately and in the form as I "think is right". But to remember those who hurt me and then didn't receive something similar in response, not from me but from life — I can't.
But when I play the judge and try to achieve justice on their own, carry a grudge bags, prove something, demand an apology and compensation, this process of "natural punishment" for some reason delayed and complicated. It is not surprising, because it is not filed in court, the offended have not written your statement, just goes and swears. As soon as you let go of your resentment, you seem to be passing the case to court — the Supreme court — and there are already taking care of it.
To forgive does not mean to forget. Impossible to forget, is that the memory wipe. But to forgive means to reduce the importance
. To look back on it, not to feel a kind of stinging pain. Max — sadness. No more. To not think about it every day. Not to carry it always with you, as close as possible to the body.
To forgive does not mean to sign an endorsement under the person's actions. This means to just stop poisoning the grievances of his own life.
To forgive does not mean to jump on the neck and continue to suffer. Your relationship this may end on the outer plane. The main thing that inside, they are finished too.
Also interesting: If You can't forgive someone, just read The path to healing is to forgive all who have hurt us
To forgive is to be free.
Free yourself. From the fact that she is herself and hung once for some reason.
It's not just. All situations in life, too honored, even if today we do not see where it is rooted. To forgive is to make a point. And to go further. To travel light, almost fly.
It's worth it. So I have to say is to forgive all
. And know that everyone will eventually get their way. One way or another. Question – what do I want? To be happy? Or to be right? To live? Or remain a victim of the past? published
Author: Olga Valyaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©