Resentment like a dangerous virus

Where's this thing coming from?

Resentment arises from a sense of self-importance or from a lack of joy in life, from an unwillingness and inability to accept life as it is, from an undeserved attitude towards oneself? It's different.

Most often offended people with low self-esteem. But they expect a lot from others, believing that everything depends on others. This illusion grows from the time when our parents decided everything for us. If you notice this feeling in yourself, then it’s time to grow up.

Women are offended more often than men, probably because they tend to sacrifice themselves, especially for the sake of the man they love. And at some point comes the realization that a woman invests in the relationship much more than her beloved. In moments of irritation, anger or fatigue, a bitter resentment comes out: “I have done so much for you, and you are ungrateful!”

At this point, instead of reproaches, it is better to calmly tell your partner about your feelings, discuss the situation, kindly ask for more attention and support.







© Monique

A cure for resentment

Do not close yourself, drowning out the growing sense of resentment: this is fraught with consequences. If you feel that you can not calmly talk about it, it is better to write a letter to the person to whom you are offended. Splash out all the anger and irritation in the letter - it will immediately become easier for you, plus do not spoil the relationship with the person. A letter to the addressee is not necessary.

The choice is always up to us: to let this evil into our lives or to forgive the offender from the heart.

Why can one person forgive easily and another have to work on a problem for months? Sometimes it happens that we ourselves inadvertently offended someone close and do not even know about it. You can ask God for forgiveness and ask for forgiveness. Many of us know from our own experience that it is much easier to forgive someone than to ask for forgiveness from someone we have offended. Our pride prevents us from pleading guilty. . .



What is forgiveness?

Some believe that this is the ability to turn the other cheek, others think that this is reconciliation. Both are right in their own way. To forgive is to give up the resentment to which you have every right and offer the one who hurt you a friendly attitude that he did not deserve. According to psychologist Robert Inright.



Forgiveness is good for the health of the body and soul.

If you want to be healthy, learn to forgive with all your heart. This is the key to health and a happy life. It has been proven that people who know how to forgive are less likely to have problems with high blood pressure and heartbeats, their immune system works better, depressions occur less often, they live longer.

But that’s not all: people who have forgiveness experience are stronger at communicating. They understand the feelings of others better and express their positive emotions to them more often. This, in turn, helps to maintain a stable relationship.

We cannot live with each other without forgiveness, because each person is to some extent always guilty to others. We are human beings, and if we do not know how to forgive, what would the world around us be like?



Make room for a miracle!

In modern literature, there are many techniques and exercises that help to forgive. I'll give you a few of them.

The Resentment Dissolution Exercise by Louise Hay

“Sit somewhere in silence, relax. Imagine you're in a dark theater and you're in front of a small stage. Put on the stage the person you need to forgive, the person you hate the most in the world. This person may be alive or dead, and your hatred may be past or present. When you see him clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him: something that matters to him. Imagine him smiling and happy. Hold this image in your view for a few minutes. Then, when the person you want to forgive leaves the stage, put yourself there. Imagine that only good things happen to you. Imagine yourself happy, smiling. There is enough good in the universe for all of us.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. For some, this exercise will be very difficult. Every time you do it, you can draw in the imagination of different people. Do this exercise once a day for a month and see how much easier it will be for you to live.”

John Gray, in his book Men from Mars, Women from Venus, offers this technique of forgiveness: “If you find it difficult to forgive someone, imagine yourself in that person’s place and write a letter to you on his behalf. You will be amazed at how quickly you will be able to forgive.”

Forgiveness of offense describes in his book Dr. Sinelnikov. It says that you need to send the offender or someone you have offended, a mental gift from the heart. First think about what this person would like, and then mentally hand it to him. It is important to see how happy the person is with your gift.

You can do something good for the abuser in reality: say a compliment, give help not because he deserves it, but simply... for no reason.

When resentment goes away, space is freed up inside us... for what? I don’t know, everyone decides for what. I like to believe it's for a miracle.

A quote on the subject:

Do not become irritated by ridicule, and do not hate those who hate and slander, but love them as your doctors, whom God has sent to teach you wisdom and humility, and pray for them to God. Say: they do not slander me, but my passion, they do not beat me, but this snake that nests in my heart and hurts in it when slandering. I take comfort in thinking that perhaps good people will knock her out of there with their barbs, and then it will not get sick.

Saint John of Kronstadt.



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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Source: indi-go.net.ua/psyhopraktikum/281-opasnyj-virus-obida.html