To dwell on the bad, blame yourself for all the ills and ineligible ideal, paranoia without a specific reason, and so on.
Norwegian clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Oslo Hanne Brurson call these tricks "myslevirusami". In his eponymous book, she explains this feature of the brain to ignore the good in itself, and focus only on the bad, and gives advice on how to get rid of it.
We publish a passage devoted to a single day in the life of the girl Anne and some of the mental pests that plague her and all of us.
Everyone has the psychological immunity that protects the psyche, just as the immune system supports the body's health. However, at that time, as the immune system is to resist any ailments, from catarrhal inflammation to cancer, the psychological immune system has to deal with all sorts of misfortunes and troubles, since carelessly thrown criticisms and ending with the loss of loved ones.
All different transfer overload. Perhaps something that you and do not pay attention, can cause depression in your neighbor. Why is everyone so arranged?
& Lt; ... & gt;
In the human brain communications are organized into networks: one containing positive information about ourselves and the world around us, the other - negative
If the conclusions of your information is defined as a negative, it is included in the negative network, and you are experiencing negative emotions, such as a feeling of hopelessness, fear, anger, and so on. D.
If your thoughts are determined by the information in a positive network, you have the positive emotions such as joy, curiosity, enthusiasm, and so on. D.
& Lt; ... & gt;
If negative mental images beyond measure you created, you may have infected your thinking.
If one day, all the requirements are met, the virus still does not allow you to experience a feeling of satisfaction.
Myslevirusy - it is virtually imperceptible mechanisms, embedding in your thought process, affect him
Infected thoughts often inspire confidence and are based on actual experience, but they are too negative.
We consider the most important myslevirusy (total of 13), watching Anna lives in a single day.
Friday morning. Anna had just parted the curtains and saw that outside it's pouring. She feels under your feet cold wooden floor of the old house inherited from her grandmother a few years ago. Then she drove here along with a couple of friends who are invited to stay with her. Over time, friends tied more serious attitude and did what they usually do most couples: have got their own apartment. After that, Anna lived alone for a year, then a couple of years with a man, which does not remember more, and now she's back on her own.
& Lt; ... & gt;
Closing the door, Anna rushed to the car, taking a lawn soaked newspaper. For some time she thought she was a man, morning, which must begin with a cup of strong black coffee and read a serious newspaper, so without thinking twice she has issued an annual subscription.
Six months later, Anna still does not read a single issue. "We need to get up early - she thinks - that was the time to read this authoritative publication". Feeling guilty, she promises herself that starting tomorrow it will be so.
The clock is not even eight, and we were introduced to the first of today's myslevirusov - the virus of perfectionism. He "specializes" in the sense of guilt. "You should have less to watch TV, you need more exercise, you had to get up early," - whispers the virus. Or, as in this case: "You ought to read the newspaper»
It should be - it was necessary - it is necessary - it was necessary. Many of us adhere to this predetermined algorithm. And if one day all the tasks will be resolved and all requirements are met, in spite of all the virus will not allow you to experience a feeling of satisfaction and be satisfied ourselves. After all, it turns life into the myth of Sisyphus - king forever sentenced by the gods of Mount wheel in heavy stone: the stone again and again appears that it is necessary to throw the mountain again and again there are requirements that must be met
Hold wet newspaper over her head, she headed for the car. Turning the key in the ignition and the car started up, the engine purred quietly. Anna threw the paper on the back seat, where there grew a hefty pile, looked in the rearview mirror, making sure that the car is enough room to maneuver. She switched on the transfer, and the "Punto" jerked, striking the car facing forward.
Anna froze in horror. She opened the door, got out and carefully examined bumper "victim." It seems to be no serious damage. Back in the car, Anna turned on the radio and gently taxied out of the car firmly standing.
Maybe it was necessary to leave a note? What if someone saw it crashed into another car, and now thinks she is trying to escape from the scene? Maybe they have even called the police! Anna felt as she sucked in his stomach. It seems that the virus came into effect impending disaster, as Anna did not see the other scenarios:
• all right, because no one could see nothing;
• Anyone who saw the incident, was glad that it was not his car, and not his problem;
• bystander happened not too lazy to inspect the vehicle and make sure that everything is in order.
All of these options are possible, but Anna thought only one thing - the most terrible. It is characteristic for the virus impending disaster - waiting for the worst. Anna nervously bit her lower lip, "What if someone really told me the police?»
Her reflections suggest that the virus impending disaster joined another common virus: a-what-if-virus. It makes you confuse probability and certainty of occurrence of an event, and often pushes a series of phrases or thoughts, it begins with "What if ...».
This is exactly what is happening now with Anna. Of course, theoretically possible that one of the neighbors called the police there, but the actual likelihood of this is low enough. It is well-what-if-virus usually activates familiar to many people's way of thinking: plane crashes, so you think that it was your aircraft is and about izoydet
The lack of logic becomes apparent when we use this scheme in relation to the probability of positive developments. Do you begin to rejoice and celebrate the win, just by filling out a lottery ticket? Hardly. Well, what if you are out on the jackpot, because it is possible, as long as you participate in the lottery? "Maybe, yes - you might say - but it is unlikely».
& Lt; ... & gt;
She pulled into the parking lot of the business center while nine-time news; 45 minutes she had to wait until the evacuated trailer blocked the tunnel, through which ran its daily route. Well, at least the rain had stopped. Anna turned off the scratching on the glass "wipers" slowed, looking for an empty seat. All busy.
"Bad start, it seems, the day went wrong," - she thought. Anna has repeatedly drawn attention to the fact that in the days when she could not find a parking space, everything went awry.
If you catch yourself at such reasoning, then, and your thinking has got suevirus. It makes us think that two separate, independent of each other event related. For example, suevirus can cause "white collar" to believe that if it is held under the stairs, it certainly is waiting for the collapse of the stock market. Or convince the player that wins to him in whatever was necessary to enter the field at number 10.
And you have suevirus? You cross your fingers for himself or for others? You go around the cracks in the pavement? Welcome to the club! All these are examples of what simple suevirus able to do with our way of thinking.
In just too egregious cases, the virus causes people to turn off the light in a certain order, convincing them otherwise somewhere in the world will the attack, or to wash their hands 37 times in a row, to a family not suffered a misfortune.
Pokolesit Parking, Anna finally saw the vacated place. Satisfied, she waved to the driver, who told her the same, leaving the number of parked cars.
Now only the revolving door of the building was separated her from the moment when it will be able to smile at the new bright-eyed administrator. He was standing behind the counter and assorted mail. Seeing that Anna nods a greeting to him, he did the same thing and, distracted, he dropped a small rectangular parcel.
Anna hurried to the counter and picked it up. "Catch", - she said with a smile, throwing the bundle administrator. He did not have time to react, and the bundle hit him in the forehead. Embarrassed, Anna hurried away and quickly walked to the elevator.
After that, she could think of nothing better than to escape! And if he decides that she is drunk? Worst of all, now in his eyes it looks clumsy broody. Anna put her hand to her forehead, and once again mentally scrolled situation. Lord, that he now thinks about it? Certainly nothing good ...
Anna heart sank. And he's so like her, because she has even started wearing contact lenses instead of glasses, and now his opinion of it is just awful!
We can see how Anna has been exposed to the virus of mind reading. This virus inspires you that you think about the bad. You completely forget that you can only speculate about what others think, and certainly do not know that for sure. Accordingly, your reactions are directly dependent on the speculation that you think the ultimate truth.
For example, Anna is convinced that the administrator considers her broody, but she tried to find out whether this really is. Instead, she takes his guess for reality, it is not surprising that she was not alone.
& Lt; ... & gt;
When we are talking about something very important for us, most of all, we believe the bad.
Attacks myslevirusov can be beat, and it's very easy to make with the help of psychological vitamins:
First you take a psychological vitamin A,
and then - Vitamin P.
And if need be, at your disposal there are also vitamins K, D
and even vitamins PP and H.
Unlike conventional psychological vitamins - is not coated pills with orange flavor. This idea formed in words.
For example, vitamin A, or vitamin-agent will help you discover and expose the thought that should not be trusted.
After it is necessary to take vitamin P - vitamin controversy. Every situation can be interpreted in at least three ways: positively, negatively or neutral. Myslevirusy all the time trying to convince you that the interpretation of the situation can be only one - negative. Therefore, to ensure that the situation was perceived as neutral or positive, it is necessary to resort to polemics.
To see how to apply psychological vitamins, back to Anna, on the same day. However, this time we will provide it to our drug.
Friday morning. Anna had just parted the curtains and saw that outside it's pouring. Quickly taking a shower and wearing contact lenses, it is not even had breakfast, I ran out of the house and hurried to the car. In her hands - newspaper, and in my head - the first date virus - the virus of perfectionism
- You have to read the newspaper, Anna, - whispers virus
- You should be interested in something else besides his own life - echoes his fellow
- You have to get up early and have time to read the newspaper every day - they repeat chorus
- Wait a minute! - Anna said to herself, feeling a growing sense of guilt. - Why should I feel guilty? I will not do anything wrong. The only thing you can blame me, it's that I liked to think of himself as a man who reads a serious newspaper. But I'm probably not so.
She smiled, thinking of his stay in the past habit all the time to bring to their excessive demands.
& Lt; ... & gt;
After parking it can only pass the revolving glass doors and you can smile at the new administrator with such expressive eyes. But where is he? Puzzled Anna makes an extra lap at the door, then dejectedly walks to the elevators.
But here it is! Hence she saw him - Oliver bent over the kettle. Clearly, he pours himself a coffee! Suddenly, her body starts to behave strangely. Hand raised and waving above her head, throat sees squeaky "Hey!", After which the lips are stretched to some clown smile.
Oliver did not respond to her greeting.
- He ignores you! - Enthusiastically said virus.
- He thinks you're flawed! - He cackles
Anna, looking down, blushing. She does not know what the Administrator stomach at this moment butterflies, and his head full of dreams about reality ... In his dreams burst Tonkogolos "Hi!", And he sees that, which so fascinated.
Startled, Oliver loses his voice and drops a bundle. Anna leans, picks it up and throws it to Oliver. Instead deftly catch bag, Oliver stops, and the parcel arrives to him in the forehead. He feels a fool, Anna feels stupid, myslevirusy rejoice. Once again, they were able to learn from the situation the possibility of harm.
Confused, Anna comes to the elevators. She puts a hand to his forehead and once again mentally scrolls happened. What if he thinks about it is bad - and because it is so like her, she even moved to a contact lens
- Wait, - Anna says to himself mentally - maybe he did not pay attention? Or he thought and therefore did not hear anything?
- Or maybe, in his eyes you're just broody? - Helpfully suggests the virus
Anna nods: she is inclined to believe the virus itself rather than
Often what happens - when we are dealing with something very important for us, most believe the bad. In such cases, we may need more vitamins, such as vitamin PP or vitamin D vitamins simply taking action and
Or vitamin control - K.
Author: Hannah Brurson, from the book "Myslevirusy: How not to poison their lives by malicious thoughts"