Eighteen years ago, in January 1978, my mother, Patricia Dilts, was first diagnosed with breast cancer. It operated using a radical mastectomy, in which the number of lymph nodes and other tissues were removed from the body. And, although the operation changed her doctor said that this is the best way of treatment that gives them confidence in the elimination of the disease.
Four years later, the tumor appeared again in the remaining breast and ovaries. Bone biopsy showed a huge number of metastases in nearly every bone.
The doctor admitted his mistake when he talked about the elimination of disease, and also came to the conclusion that at this stage they are powerless. Her life did not stay long.
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Because of her courage, willingness to samoistseleniya, love for life and his family, my mother took responsibility for their own health, and there was a dramatic healing.
More than twelve years, she continued to maintain her health and not paying attention to the symptoms and showing wonderful abilities in the fight against physical disease. The history of the process of recovery was devoted to my seminars, lectures and books "Persuasion", "the Path to health and well-being" and "Changing belief systems with NLP". Her example inspired many sick people around the world, helping them find their path to wholeness.
The third of December 1995, my mother died after living a healthy and good life.
Due to difficulties with health, for several months, she agreed to undergo doctor-recommended course of chemical therapy and radiation. Unfortunately, the treatment did not help her and also was very painful. This further undermined the health and almost led to its demise. Already having decided to die, she ceased to respond to suggestions and interventions that were previously so effective. Grieving the death of his mother, I still accepted her own explanation that she did everything in life, and ready to reunite with my father (who passed away ten years ago).
Despite the physical pain, my mother kept the courage and dignity until the very end, and died surrounded by his family and the light of deep love. And although the last days were very painful, there were also many moments of great beauty, happiness and inspiration.
And, although initially I had other goals, I consider this article as a tribute to my mother and in-depth knowledge received from her over the years.
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"The map is not the territory" is one of the most fundamental assumptions of NLP. As human beings we initially come to know reality through our senses which are very limited.
For example, dogs can hear things we cannot hear, and bees can see infrared rays, not visible to us.
Our senses are limited, but this is something that we perceive the world. We react to mental maps, built on our sensory perceptions of reality rather than reality itself. These neuro-linguistic maps of reality determine our behavior and its meaning, but not reality itself. At a time when people thought the world was flat and they would not have to travel the world. Thus, limits or on the contrary develops us rather than the world, and our world maps.
Card people are different, and they depend on their backgrounds, societies, cultures, skills and personal history. Recognition of the fact that people have different maps of the world — is the most important position of NLP. People have different beliefs about the healing abilities of the body and what "should be done" and what "can be done" in relation to their own healing. Working in the field of recovery, I realized that cards, in addition to understanding what is healing, also includes its capabilities, and people live in accordance with this.
Sometimes these cards are very limited. For example, people talk about physical symptoms, such as cancer or AIDS, if they "have" them doctors told you about them like they have the mind and own will. They say that cancer has "invaded" the body and how the AIDS virus "fooling" the immune system, using the human body. I heard the oncologist said that breast cancer in different people has a "face". Someone "more aggressive", someone "less". They talk about it like it's the characteristics of the symptom.
In our case of prolonged exhaustion from metastasis of breast cancer, for example, one of the oncologists noticed my mother: "Your cancer was behaving in a very friendly manner."
It is more correct to realize that the identity of the person or ability of healing effect on the symptom than to think that the human body is completely passive and "obsessed" symptom. As explained by the oncologist, the reason why the chemo didn't work, was that the cancer found a way to "opt out" of the drugs. My mother joked about it: "They talk about the cage, how about something special that you're smarter than a lab rat."
These types of cards, and beliefs determine how we achieve healing. If you experience intentional invasion of external negative intentions, for example, we feel sick and overwhelmed. When my mother first discovered the metastasis of breast cancer and began to explore what she can do to really help her own healing, her surgeon told her: "All the arguments about consciously healing part is nonsense and that you may lose your mind." This type of belief, especially if it is presented as a "correct map of the world", can become, as I call it, "mental virus".
"Mental virus" — the basis of limiting beliefs that impede their own or others efforts to healing or improvement.
My mother was a nurse and her colleague-the doctor, instead of talking about how she's stupid (as was the case with the surgeon), took her aside and said, "Listen, Pat, if you really care about your family, you will not leave her unprepared." If you're really worried about your family, you will not attempt to deceive loved ones the illusion of recovery, because in this case you just leave her unprepared. The idea of a possible recovery, at a time when death was at the door, simply means selfishness and carelessness in respect to his family. It will create unrealistic expectations, a significant depletion of financial resources and will lead to sadness and disappointment.
Such "mental viruses» can infect the brain and nervous system, as well as a physical virus infects a body, or a computer — computer system, leading to disorder and chaos. A computer program, as a whole system can be damaged, "computer virus". So our nervous system is able to catch and accordingly deteriorate "mental virus".
Biologically, the "virus" means a piece of genetic material. Our genetic code is a biological program of our body and a virus is an incomplete piece of the program. In fact, it is not a live object. That's why you can't kill him or poison. He was not alive. He enters the cell of its host. In case of acceptance of the virus, the cell to inadvertently creates a favorable home environment for him and even helps to reproduce and develop.
"Computer virus", like biological, is not a complete program. There is no science, just knowing where it appears in the computer which parts are protected and which are open, no idea about the environment of the computer, and identity with other computer programs. The initial target of the virus — just a playback and reproduction, as it does not know or does not respect the borders of other programs and numbers in the computer. He's randomly superimposed over them, erasing and replacing these programs. This is the cause of failures and serious mistakes.
For me, "thought viruses" are identified with these viruses. This is not finished, organically connected and supporting a huge personal systems and beliefs on the path to healing, idea. This particular thought or belief that could create confusion or conflict. Individual thoughts and beliefs do not have their own "power". They come to life only in the case of someone's active influence on them. If people came to believe and has directed its actions in accordance with special idea — it means that he "revived" the conviction; it can now be "self-executing".
To be clear, what I mean, let me explain. My mother lived twelve years longer of the period which gave her doctor because she did not accept some of his beliefs to heart. The doctor, who she worked for, he promised in a good state of Affairs approximately two years of life. When he spoke to me — it was about a month or even week. It stopped working with a doctor and lived many more years entirely free from any symptoms of the cancer. A few years after my mother quit working with the doctor, he became seriously ill (although his illness is not comparable to the illness of the mother). Now he was responsible for his own life. Later, he convinced his wife to commit suicide together with him or perhaps wanted to take her without consent (the situation is intractable). Why? Because he believed that his death was real and imminent and did not want to "go off half-cocked".
The fact that "mental virus" can cause death as easily as the AIDS virus. He can kill the "boss" is as simple as to harm those who this "boss" infected. Just think of how many people have died from "ethnic cleansing" and "Holy wars". It is even possible that the AIDS virus operates together with the "virus of the mind."
I want to clarify that when talking about the doctor is his mother, I do not mean that he is some bad person. I think he was a good doctor and an honest man. The problem is not in it. The problem is "belief" and "virus". Actually, the fact of his suicide can be seen as an act of honesty — relevant to him. Not the people, but these beliefs need to criticize.
"Mental virus" can't be killed, it can only identify and neutralize from the rest of the system. You can't kill "idea" or "belief" — they are not alive. The murder of a man, acting on the basis of their ideas and beliefs, yet doesn't kill the ideas and beliefs. The hundred years war and religious persecution to confirm this. (The effect of chemotherapy like war. Kill infectious cells but it is not healed and is not protected from the virus body itself. Unfortunately, this is the reason a large number of "local accidents" on the path of healing cells.) "Limiting beliefs" and "viruses of the mind" communicate the same way as, for example, the body — physical virus, the computer — with the computer, i.e. by recognizing the virus, not taking it and not leaving it in the system.
The virus is not only "weak", "stupid" or "bad" people and computers. Electronic or biological "owner" of computer viruses or physical "deceived", as the virus may initially seem favorable and harmless. For example, our genetic code is a program. Happens about the following: "after A and B should be In" or "for these structures, ABAVAGADA there is this place." One of the functions of our immune system — check codes in different parts of the body and substances that enter it, to check and to make sure that they are healthy and organic. If they are alien to the body, they are thrown out or re-checked. The virus may trick the body or the immune system like the AIDS virus, because its structure is in many cases similar to the cells of our code. The fact that only man and chimpanzees are experiencing terrible effects of the AIDS virus. This is because only those creatures whose genetic structure similar to the code of the AIDS virus, can be infected.
For example, the human genetic code has the following model "AAAAAHED". A virus can have a structure of "AAAAAAAAD", which in some cases is similar to the individual's own genetic code. If you view only the first five letters, the code looks identical and is recognized by the body.
Another way is when the virus "tricks" the body or the immune system, penetrate into harmless protein shell (like Trojan horse). The immune system does not feel any discomfort. It's like the doctor's words: "If you really care about your family — prepare them." A glance at this expression, there is nothing particularly harmful. In fact, it is combined with positive values: "care" and "training". In this sense of the statement, and that is not installed but is expected or allowed is a belief about the possibility of death.
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Consider the following statement:
"I control you because you have to read me to the end."
Psychologists call this a "viral offer" (that's like, but at the same time is not "thought virus"). Notice how in this sentence interesting presuppositions and assertions. One of the characteristics of such "viral proposals" — samoregulirovaniya and self-sufficiency. Correlate can only be asked, no other information refuting it. This seems to be true, because I really need to finish reading the sentence to understand its meaning.
But do we fall under "his" control? Who is "I" who controls us? Offer because no personality is just a bunch of words. Perhaps the author of these lines now dead. So who controls us? And is it at all possible to talk about control, may be curiosity, habit or strategy?
It is important to remember that a biological virus, a computer or does not have a mind or their own intentions. In fact, it is a separate part of a larger organic whole, which makes the virus threat. A biological virus is harmful only then, when the body accepts him and confuses him with me. Infection with the virus occurs mechanically, and it is not inevitable.
May each of us had experience where we were exposed to the virus, but not infected. Our immune system is trained to recognize viruses, reallocate and remove them from the body. The immune system is not taught to kill them (because they can't be killed). Computer "anti-virus" program, for example, does not destroy parts of the computer, rather, it detects the virus and removes it from computer memory or from disk. Often this software is finding a virus, simply expels the infected drive to the computer and is not subject to risk.
It seems that the immunity of the virus immune system — the consequence of a good "education" in the recognition and sorting of viruses. As a child, learning to read, begins to recognize letters, so does our immune system recognizes and selects different characters in the genetic codes of viruses. This more rigorous control of the virus program.
Consider, for example, the "removal" of smallpox from the face of the earth. We do this not by killing the viruses. We're just teaching our immune system to recognize them. You are vaccinated and your body suddenly realizes, "Oh! This virus does not belong to me". Just like this! And again, the vaccine does not kill the virus. It helps the immune system to clarify what is really you and what's not you that belongs to body and what is not.
The process of selecting a file on computer disk and moving it to "trash" where it rubs off — not a forced process, it is not about "struggle" and "murder". This is done in order to protect your computer, when you change the program to a newer or replacing outdated data.
For example, in the case of my mother, she felt pain in the spine, ribs, and struck with metastases of the bones. I asked her to visualize those body parts in which she experienced pain. In some parts of the back she saw something — like random motion "rust". Following typical procedures NLP, I asked her to explore the positive intentions of this so vividly presented it, part. I asked her to ask internally the pieces of "rust" that connects them and what this community means to her. Again and again blame the inner voice said, "You're sick." We tried to find the intention or the relationship in these words, but they didn't seem to have. In the end, I said, "Maybe it's just a virus that no longer belongs to you? Maybe you should try to remove the rust and the voice of your body and nervous system? Imagine that you could take them out and put in front of him, like a broken computer program, copied from hard drive to floppy disk. "This program on a floppy disk you can save for any unknown purposes that may arise later. But you may temporarily erase some of their beliefs from their operating system". Thus, she imagined gets the rust and the voice from the body and puts them in front (like the floppy disk). Immediately she had what she described as a tingling sensation and warmth circulating through my spine and ribs. Her pain subsided, and she had never felt the need to return it all back to his body is he no longer belonged.
Of course, I do not recommend to wash every limiting thought, the main time to explore relationships or the positive intention of the symptom. Many people have made incredible efforts to avoid or "erase" their symptoms — it is very difficult if not try to hear or understand their situation. A lot of wisdom need to be able to recognize and distinguish virus.
The healing "thought virus" includes the deepening and enrichment of our mental maps to have more choices and perspectives. Wisdom, ethics and ecology do not come from the same "right" or "soup up" map of the world, because man is not capable to create it. Rather, the purpose will create rich opportunities map that respects the naturalism and ecology of ourselves and the world in which we live. With the expansion and enrichment of the model of the world changes the perception and purpose of life. The body's immune system, in essence, the mechanism for recognition and preservation of the integrity of its physical identity.
The process of immunization is to train the immune system what is her physical part, and what is not. In conclusion, we have to learn to deal with limiting beliefs and "mental virus" way, more like immunization than chemotherapy. A lot of assumptions and techniques of NLP can be considered as "vaccination" to help to release beliefs from the "mental virus".
I think that the visual representation of the mother in the process of healing was a very strong metaphor. She could not imagine white cells as "good guys", destroying "bad", as in a video game PAC man. Rather, she pictured his body as a system of hills, fields and orchards. She saw the cancer in the form of plots of grass in the fields began to grow too quickly and turned into thorns and weeds, because they have not enough grazing sheep, which can maintain the environmental balance. White cells and was the sheep that grazed and bred on these pastures.
This is not the attack, in which the white cells are fighters dropping Napalm on fields to kill weeds or anything else. It would be a less preferred method. She didn't feel that I can truly be healed, imagining war in your body. The initial metaphor for the fight against cancer was not "murder" the bad cells, but rather "bringing order to the" chaotic cells. As well as you would mix old glass bottles with aluminum cans.
I'd like to finish this article with words of my mother about her experience of healing. Next, I will give a few excerpts from monographs of the mother on the way to healing.
I was asked what I do when I have no strength to fight. It was a time when I felt worse. At such moments, I tried to find an easier way. It is something like the old "bunch of carrots", forcing donkey to move forward. I think that the episodes of physical weakness, but people with serious diseases can find inexhaustible strength in yourself to become healthy.
If there is some kind of perfect remedy is the encouragement.
Often society and even our physiology can plant negative ideas in our brain. Robert calls it "mental viruses." These thoughts may have good intentions, but can have a very undesirable effect on the vulnerable patient. However, I found that the "mental virus" can be drawn on my recovery.
For example, at the beginning of my healing process one of the doctors said that my efforts to help my recovery as "dead a poultice" and that I can just go crazy. Instead of answer the doctor for his comment, which could become a kind of "virus", I was looking for "positive intentions" in his words. I believe his intention was honest and open (in his understanding), and he didn't want me to be deceived. I also didn't want it and decided that really would be foolish not to say life and use all accessible elections. I continued to go its course, despite his words, believing in his deep and sincere intentions. Interestingly, after he saw the improvement, he changed his beliefs, became for me a strong support and even advised to "stay away from doctors". In contrast to the "mental virus" can we learn to expect certain changes positive behavior and program themselves on their achievement.
Trying to find something funny in each case — is also an effective way to support positive attitudes and "mental virus ". My family and I found that even in the most unpleasant moments of our life there is a place for laughter. It is very important to learn to laugh at yourself. Did not help me serious perception. If I can laugh at fear and make a life enriched with new and enjoyable perspective. My patience is strengthened, if I can find something funny in the troubles that we all face on a daily basis.
I'm not afraid to dream of a better. The funny thing is that some dreams do come true. I played a major role, and it was my pleasure. I participated in several television programs quite unexpectedly and spent a few amazing and unpredictable year.
Fresh air always made me a good effect, as in the other. From my parents I inherited the relationship with the land and what grows on it. I always feel harmony and pleasure in relationship with nature in my garden. So much you can learn watching the cycle of life and natural correspondences. My life is my garden and the flowers I collected for my bouquet my experience. Every day I add new flowers.
Curiosity is another important part of my desire to live.I love to learn new things, and I fascinate both old and new discoveries. So much knowledge that I need to explore and understand that even a cursory examination so many years. I studied languages at our local College as well as if I traveled to some European countries. A new culture has given me a different area of interest.
A friend of mine, a doctor, said some people only being seriously ill, I learned to care for themselves and, ultimately, have a better life. From my point of view, he is very observant. Many patients with incurable diseases, people speak about the value of each day and even new love for others. I think every day that I chose life, I became wiser. I use the word "choice", because I feel that he has a direct relationship to life extension. I like to make every next day better than before. Sometimes you just need to look at the sky and trees, sometimes to help someone. To be "right" — the same reason. Even the exchange of smiles is very important.
Not everyone has such support and success, like me. But little by little, step by step... And one day, looking back, you can see the improvement. Every step makes life more valuable, and every achievement makes it more privileged. Life becomes more meaningful when we take an active part in it. We collect our treasures on the road called "experience". And troubles and problems could provide useful lessons, our own jewelry.published