For 6 years I saved up some money to come home with gifts, but I don’t know who I was trying to help.

These days young people are used to looking at the world. rose-colored. No wonder. The Internet, like television, beckons with its promises, shows exactly what we want, exposing only the bright sides of certain things. Therefore, if before the boys played football in the yard until the very night, coming home only for the sake of evening cartoons, now they simply cannot be pulled from the sofa. Except when all their gadgets are discharged at once.



But that's not even surprising. Another thing is surprising: when adults who have lived a life are ready to deceive themselves, shrugging off heavy thoughts. Why bother thinking about the imminent arrival of credit accounts, when you can watch the new series of your favorite series on the tablet? Or, for example, why listen to a doctor who very clearly advises you to go on a proper diet, when you can bake a new batch of something delicious, which is so cool recommends on YouTube? Ordinary life is so boring and uninteresting!

When I went to work abroad, I didn’t want to put myself under the pressure of bad thoughts. After reading comments from compatriots, talking with those who came, live, I decided to reject all the negativity and hope only for the best. Of course, not everyone promised me golden mountains and no job. But for the most part, people didn't tell me horror stories where every penny was mined with sweat and blood. Why else would you want to go?

I try to consider myself a positive person. Without it, I think there is nowhere in life. My family has always helped me morally, my children and my husband. So when I arrived, realizing that I had no chance of finding something good, I kept smiling and calming myself. Perhaps fate itself decided that a person like me should be helped: after only three months of uncertainty and a rather difficult time, I found a good option that suited me personally.



I began to care for an elderly woman who was in her mind, functioned normally, but she often just lost strength, and, probably, she was still lonely. I mean, there were days when she was the first to wake up, make coffee, and wake me up to face the new day. And there was a time when I literally had to argue with her for half an hour so that she could go outside, as her doctor demanded. The weather has nothing to do with it, believe me.

In the six years that I worked with her, we became good friends, or at least great acquaintances. Yes, it was not easy, because someone else’s character is a difficult thing, especially at age. But a single woman who decided for herself not to marry, not to look for someone and not to have children, was not so bad and impenetrable. For example, she loved stories about my life at home, about my family and even cooking. We often communicated with my husband, children and señora on the computer, and this was done by mutual decision, without any sycophancy.

And before she died, she gave me a few thousand in cash, just like that. Like I knew I'd need them soon. And I didn't refuse, why? If a person wants to do good and can afford it, I am for it. And in general, I came not just to communicate with people, I really needed funds to improve the living conditions of my whole family. So I think it was a nice raise from a great man, for which I am very grateful.



Unsplash Ride Home So it’s no surprise that when I was going home, I was in a very upbeat mood. She allocated several days for which she went and just bought gifts for her husband and children, local food and clothes. You know, overseas prices are really good when you know what to compare. I suspected that at home I would not have a wow effect and I would not be surprised by the prices in our stores. Inflation, the currency situation and everything else. But that way. Meat or fish really costs some crazy money, but let’s not be sad. That's another topic to talk about.

So, when I got home to my family, I gave away everything I had bought and didn’t even forget about my relatives. Why not, because I still managed to bring a penny with me, so the trip, according to my calculations, was very successful. In addition, the husband also did not sit still: he worked, tried to be a breadwinner for his part, and we tried not to spoil the children. Fat, well-dressed, as good as anyone. And the rest will come, not the queens.



Through the rose-colored glasses, but then gradually everything started to come to the fact that even my mood began to fall. On the one hand, acclimatization. Flying from a warm, touristy country home when the snow falls outside the window and not a drop of greenery is stressful. No, I tried to go out there, look at people, get positive. But I wasn't good at it. Dissatisfied faces, always in some hurry and push. It’s hard to compare it to the rhythm I’ve had in recent years.

But that's fine. People get used to everything. As long as the house is okay. But there was also a moment of disappointment. The children grew up and were not as interested in me as my financial affairs. Eternal requests to buy this and that, some inconsistencies and even resentment. I did not expect this and tried to do everything so that they did not look at me. My husband was putting pressure on me for another reason. He raised the kids “normally,” which means I shouldn’t have to follow their lead. I wish I hadn't wasted my money, I'd given it to the family budget, and he, as the head of the family, would use it wisely.



What do we do next? In my words, I too have to make important decisions, for that matter, he just smiled and winked. “What do you understand, dear? I’m a man, that’s how it looked. Of course, I did not hide the cash under my pillow, but the money given to me by the lady, kept with me, just in case. It seemed to me that this was not enough for my husband. He has already started repairs, and even considered moving. What kind of shish to live on?!

But most of all, I was surprised by my mother-in-law. When we first met after my arrival, she quietly asked me, so, with disdain, when I was going back, because other women work abroad for 10-15 years. I thought then that she must have aged quite a bit and was forgetting a little about the measures of decency. So those words flew past me. But now that I see how my family reacts to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if they all really start walking me back out. It's all coming to this somehow. But I don't want to go back, I'm tired. What are the chances of me getting lucky again and getting a normal job?



This is how it happens, you try not to be discouraged and expect only the best from the future. And it happens. And then you relax once, give a slack, and life will turn to you with its usual side. But nothing. The main thing is not to be discouraged or change your principles. I think things will get better there. At least you have to believe that. There is simply nothing else left.