Single Father

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1. Alexander, 42, a businessman. Daughters Valeria 6 years. Single father of 3 years:

- We broke up with his wife by mutual consent, but support for daughter relationship. I guess I'm one of the rare men of our School fathers who maintains relations with his wife. Usually men-fathers absolutely refuse to communicate with ex-wives, they just cut it and everything. Thanks to the birth of a daughter, I began to re-life of 37 years. I had a large bright pure love, and I radically changed 360 degrees. Primarily engaged in self-development, withdrew from the process of accumulation of money and began my spiritual and social way.





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3. One day I got a call and was asked to give lessons of fitness for a girl from a large family. She wanted to do fitness, but she and two children brought up by a single father who could not pay for the lessons. I said please come. So I met with the School of the fathers, who opened a representative of the Department of Child Protection Olga Cherepanov. It is probably one of the few officials who works not for ticks. Together we organized a set of actions for both children and to their fathers. Gradually, I assumed the duties of the head of the initiative group of single fathers.



4. The first thing after the divorce, I have arranged life: Select daughters room, gave her the opportunity to feel her apartment. Then he learned to organize clothes, brought order to the apartment, learned to cook, although I did not like and did not know how, but when my daughter praises my cooking, it is very important to me. All the energy is directed to the education of the child, a job, and spiritual development.



5. I am afraid to trust my child a foreign woman. I think women in this plan easier: she married, her husband is lost at work, there is a minimum of contact, and we practically trust women of their child throughout the day. And if they find each other a common language - is unknown. While I understand that this may only my thoughts and fears. May actually be quite different, perhaps they will make friends, but I do not want to risk it.



6. School fathers - a duty for me, especially my first child - son, to whom I still feel tremendous guilt. Heavy heart that this child did not get his father's attention ... I was young, married 18 years, then went into the army, and served immediately divorced. It seemed to me that the family holds back my ambitions. But with her son to communicate, helped as he could. I trained as a civil engineer, went into business, began by saying that he was doing renovation in the apartments and has grown to a company that is now known in the city. I can give her daughter everything she wants. But his son was too late. He is now 24 years old, and he grew up without me.



7. Lone fathers more closed, proud and closed on their own problems. We wrote an application to the Red Cross on the selection of products for low-income single fathers, so no one even came to pick them up, I had to deliver all the addresses. North-Kazakhstan region, there are about 200 single dads, but in fact the backbone consists of 20 active people. Many hard pull on meetings and other events. Call several times to persuade, explain, and still they refuse.



8. I constantly have to be responsive and attentive. I did not want our divorce was traumatic for the child. One day I went for my daughter in kindergarten, and she asked me: "Who will take me tomorrow? You or Mom? ". It heard the boy from her group and told her, "It turns out that your Mom and Dad are divorced!". My daughter immediately snikla, and I say, "She has a two-family, and loved it twice, so it was more fortunate than the child of an ordinary family."



9. Victor, 58, a massage therapist. Daughters Masha 18 years. Single father 12 years:

- My ex-wife thought all the masseurs are cool, earn a lot ... But I was not very resourceful - bit clients, the money is not enough. And she did not like - go look for a richer and better. I disappointed her. Daughter left me, felt that her child and I do not have money, but only on daughter's enough, that's left.



10. I always liked medicine, I learned a masseur. Bring a child with cerebral palsy, and after a few treatments, he goes on his feet. 10-20 sessions - and a different person. I'm too heavy and do not take a lot of money do not ask, but who will, I do not work for money, and to feel that someone needs. Who am not welcome - sick and the doctors can not find the cause. Maybe the body is worn out and need a temporary respite.

I'm not entirely blind, I still have light perception, as well - the continuous veil. Previously, when there was an opportunity, I traveled to Moscow - was treated, and now the vision is not supported. I know how to cook and and wash, and go through the city itself - the landmark quietly socket can fix, hang a chandelier ... Here repair started in his room, I want everything here to refresh. Though I can not see, but the soul feels after the update.



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12. I was not hard to raise a daughter. I just did not know how to cook, but I had to learn. She's unkempt went somewhere tweak - and a different view, but I just did not see.

When we had money, we Masha went to Astana. I wanted to please her, accumulated bit and bought train tickets, we went specifically for the opening of the circus, then walked around the city,
photographed. Very good it was.

When she still did not know how to read, and I have not seen, we walked to the familiar, dictation, I wrote down everything in braille and read her poems, short stories. I still remember how we Masha went to the meadow, sat down and read a book. And it was not a burden. We had a favorite game, called "In the bazaar." She was a seller and buyer, I - as we had been taught mathematics.



13. I have always met nice people, they are not criticized, and not uttered that her daughter something can not or does not know, on the contrary, helped. I remember her teacher Svetlana, she was young, just graduated from Teachers College. After the class came to see her boyfriend, but she Masha 40 minutes worked, taught to write - Masha handwriting was clumsy at first. Then the teacher has developed her beautiful neat handwriting, thanks to her efforts and elementary school daughter graduated from shock worker. And all this thanks to 40 minutes every day, all four years ... And the guy in the meantime was waiting sitting on a bench. I believe that Svetlana has helped me grow daughter.



14. Just loneliness ... it eats, I Cancer horoscope, and we in the first place the family. When my wife left me daughter, I never for a moment thought that it would be difficult, and as I can handle. On the contrary, it was fun: I bring to the section Masha and there granny, mom sitting, some puzzled looks, some with curiosity and talking among themselves. And I pretend not to notice anything. Sometimes it was a shame: the bazaar stopped nimble grannies and ask: "What you mean it will not hand over to the orphanage? Or she'll need as a guide? ».

Just kids teased her, Masha took offense. All the tears came, happened, home. And I said to her: "You're my own daughter, a boarding school, which the guide?".



15. Now with the money tugovato: I do not work, and grant a 28 thousand hard to live. My daughter must eat well, it is no secret that she had become a woman, the body requires vitamins. Onions grow, it is expensive, it's vitamins, and I grow and eat. Would need to eat well to recover again.

When I was younger, could have a relationship, but did not dare, do not want my child offended strange woman. I immediately arose association with the fairy tale about the wicked stepmother and stepdaughter poor, did not want it happened. Now my daughter grew up, her friends more interested. And now I need someone patient and the Pauper ...



16. Scary old one remains. Before, I was interested in books or outdoor recreation, there were no problems - got up and went to where you want to, but now, maybe it's age, just wants to sit with her grandmother and drink tea, talk, laugh.

I do not like to tell his story, but I want people who are in a difficult situation, do not despair. There is no hopeless situation, you only need to think about. You just need to live life, and she will help. So I like the blind, and when preparing food, does not burn, miracles ... And I do not think that people with disabilities - people second-class citizens, do not feel because of this deprived. If you look closely, you can see that the inner world of people is much more interesting and richer than others.

Otherwise, I'm glad that I have such a life - not like at all, not the usual scenario.



17. Baurjan, 32 years old, plastic windows installer. Daughters Asem 9 years old, the son of Tamerlane - 6. Single Father 2 years:

- I grew up and was educated in the Omsk region, served in the army and arrived in Petropavlovsk - family called home, and then went to work in Astana. There he married and lived with his family for eight years. And I realized that rented apartments - this is not the case. Yes, and we shot the room on the right bank, and there, in the private sector, it is usually temporary barracks, which is divided into a few corners, and in each little room for thirty thousand a month the family lives. It's just terrible conditions in the room and the stove and the bed, and the kitchen - tightness and dirt. We moved with his family to the village, the village of Anchor 30 kilometers from Petropavlovsk, acquired in a private home loan. Then he thought: if we live in a private home, why not get a farm, garden, cow. Bought a cow, have engaged in a vegetable garden, everything was improving. And then began the quarrel - wife was tired of this life - and three months later took his youngest son and left. Daughter-grandmother left neighbor, we knew only two months, and left. The neighbor can hardly walk, the daughter half an hour she was gone from her grandmother, and nine in the morning until seven at night was a five year old child in the street. Well, that did not happen. I was at work and did not know.



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19. forgive her for this act for the sake of the children to the family was complete. Drove her to Astana, we talked, like agreed. She was back. A year later, all over again. But the second time she at least wait to grandma, that is, my mom took my daughter on vacation to her in Omsk, and leave again. All the same scenario: I'm leaving for work, nothing suspecting come, and his wife asked again.



20. In the city I was lucky, I got a permanent job, good salary, the loan is paid for the house - 45 thousand per month, arranged for children in local schools and kindergartens, the cow gave milk fat, vegetable garden - a good harvest. Everything was perfect. But his wife will not last long ... As she said, it was hard to get up early in the morning to milk the cow, then another through the separator to strain the cream ... It was easier to sell the milk, than to do something. Or soured milk stood just disappeared.



21. But I do not care shouldered all the housework at her, always tried to help. It so happened that my mom got married early, the eldest daughter in law came into the big traditional family, all the cases were on the farm on it. And in 12 years, I realized how difficult it. And tried to help in the kitchen, and the banks are twisted, and cleaned - and learned a lot, I now it's handy. So I tried to help my wife, tell, teach. Then I realized that my wife just lazy, because of his youth is not notice somewhere myself doing something I close my eyes. Blamed on something that does not have time with small children. But look, the children grow up already, the time she becomes more and all is still. Just a man did not want to change.



22. I asked her about the simplest things - wash pants. In the morning, went to work, it turns out, at the same time with me went to her friend in the city, in the evening both returned. Of course, as laid pants
nepostirannymi and lie. I uttered to her for it. She was offended, her mother is also not like it, and three days later the two of them left for good. I then realized that the man I was in nothing puts and end to it. I felt sorry for the kids, we did it all for a start? Just for the sake of children.



23. She did not come since the children never visit, and for two years only five times called. I think for a woman who wore a baby of 9 months under her heart, it's too little. I would call every day or at least once a week. Kids do not miss my mom, we live as if it never existed. Son still sometimes remembers talking to her on the phone, and the daughter refuses to see her. Call her Auntie.



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25. We live well, I always pamper them with something delicious. Here, for example, children like meat, so I try to cook meat, and all that was asked, even manta rays, even pies, dumplings though, do. Over the summer, roll up about 70 cans of cucumbers, tomatoes, letcho, salads, jams do, especially pumpkin and apple, apricot, which children love.



26. When the girls find out that I have kids, it scares them. Some people say to me, saying that if you had one child, but two - for many. But for me the children is more important than relationships.

At first I was hurt, and hurt, but then I went, I helped friends and time. I've calmed down, and all that I need to keep children close by. Now I meet a woman, she also has two children, but do not dare to live together.



27. Nurlan, 50, a bricklayer. Daughters Alina 10 years, son Aslan -19.
Single father of 7 years:

- When my wife died, my daughter was 3 years old, and his son - 12 years. Wife was formed, the teacher of the first category, smart, beautiful, and good character. She discovered a breast tumor, doctors could not help, and I was left alone with the children. I then immediately turned gray, old. Vowed that put children at his feet, educated himself.

I grew up without a mother, she died when I was six years old, four of us left from her, from her stepmother then there were three. Already in the twelve years I myself baked bread and clean the house. I know that this orphanage.

Father after the death of his mother was drinking - not everyone will power is. I've seen enough of all, so do not drink and do not get married again. Why should my children suffer?



28. I like protein, which turns his wheel - home, work, kids. My daughter wakes up in the morning, have breakfast together, otvozhu school. At lunch, take her out of school, feed, then run to work at half past six in the evening and come back. Usually I cook the evening or if very tired, take semis. And we have good neighbors, look after her, bringing something delicious. My daughter all love - it is quiet and obedient, all at once understand.



29. I have good kids, myself, and a son and daughter learn well, that's my daughter Udarnitsa, I myself do with her lessons. School assemblies try not to miss. My son is a student in the third year the Road Academy in Almaty learns. During his studies he pay 240 thousand, there are still other costs there. I have a good salary - 70 times 80 thousand tenge. As soon as I receive the money immediately pay for training, and even for the next year. Suddenly with me something happens, and the son must learn, to become a man.



30. I'm standing in line for an apartment. I have heterosexual children and only one room, that son would come - I'll sleep in the hallway. Fifth year standing in the queue may still allocate the apartment, although we live well, the children try to buy everything you need, son, when he was in ninth grade, I bought a good computer. Recently bought a TV for 200 thousand in credit.



31. sometimes works, but I only have one day off, do not always have time. Now it became easier, my daughter has grown up a bit, she washes the dishes and helps me. On weekends, erase typed-automatic, cleaning do baursaks fry. Works for me in the foreground, I did not miss a single day, even if sick, you still go to work. I recently fell, spine slightly damaged, but despite this toil. I need to raise children! That son learned, get a job - I will become easier. Well, I have a sister, they come to us, help, my daughter choose the clothes, pigtails plait - female hand is needed.



32. When the money gets, do not scatter them. Here, for example, went to the market and bought something cheaper, but good quality. I travel only by bus. When relatives come, I wonder - they only go by taxi. Probably easy to get money.

In the team I am the most peaceful, with no one to swear, sometimes, colleagues resented by salary, but I always take what I give. Keep quiet and work, for me it was called a communist colleagues. I just work and do not think to deceive me, or I for someone to recycle. I am not a communist, I just know that Hashem gives me everything. Often, a good deed done and immediately bring relatives products or any kalym turn up. Welcome back immediately.



33. I winter weekends glued tile brother-in, they gave me for it gave 50 thousand tenge. I was frightened: it's the salary for the month, a lot of money for the four Sundays!








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