How to understand that in a relationship you like to suffer

Relationships between people are very different, but in general they can always be structured and brought to a common denominator. As paradoxical as it sounds, most people are in all sorts of addictions. Few people understand this and try to analyze it. It’s like chasing a bright label and putting up with what’s inside. That's it. relationship They make us miserable.



Editorial "Site" I'm very worried about this. A lot affects us: stereotypes, upbringing, and environment. Let's take a couple of examples that show that there's a real BDSM going on in our relationship that we don't even notice. Well-known psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky knows exactly what this means.



A man says, “I need time and space to make decisions.” I've been living with her for two and a half years now, and I have this attitude. I need to be alone. So I'm leaving the house. I could leave for a week, ten days. And then when I made my decision, I come back. I know she doesn’t like it, I love her.

The woman says: 'The first time he left it was a real disaster. I didn’t know where to go, what to do, I was scared. I try to understand him, accept him, forgive him. Now I'm used to him disappearing, I love him. It really hurts, there is a misunderstanding. We're still together.



Remark Labkovsky “I think I understand what is happening.” She likes to suffer. It's some kind of BDSM. Love, but it hurts. And here the arithmetic is simple - it suits you if you put up with it. Very simple. She accepts care and pain, she has masochistic tendencies. She is not the only one, there are many such women in our country. You don’t want to hurt her, but you can’t make her stop worrying.



Another example: The girl says, I have a long-distance relationship. We've been living like this for a year. I'm in one city, he's in another. I go to him, I think that the person I need, a good one, fell in love. But he's not rushing to me. No rush to move or just come. He says I don’t have the money right now. What do you recommend? ?



Mikhail Labkovsky explains the forms of relations: “Is he the only one in the whole country?” Aren't there any other guys? To get closer and more conciliatory. His ticket costs 500 rubles, is that such exorbitant money to come? He's so comfortable. Yeah, you like to get hurt. Here is your example, I want to say the following, to beat the results.

The main question is: should the relationship continue? If you are good in this relationship, then it is worth it, and if not, then the conclusion is unequivocal. Rarely do people say they feel good. Usually, there are always some insecurities in a relationship. If it seems different then why did you decide what would happen? Now he doesn’t want to come, and tomorrow he won’t want to cook because he’s broken. Everything.



This isn't a love story. The history of conflicts, experiences, misunderstandings, tears - that's what this story is. Let me tell you why you have this relationship: it was all in childhood. That's the equivalent. As our parents lived, so do we today. When we were kids, we just got used to it. It's normal for us. We don't even notice.

We have been used since childhood to shouting, clarifying relationships, scandals, this is a clear order of things for us. You can live. What is it? Someone lived in a boarding school, a mother of five years, maybe not seen. And you only have a year away. It's okay! You can endure, you can suffer, you can think, it’s about love, I love it so much. Is it about love?”



Many people really look at relationships quite selfishly, little thought about what they should be. The right thing to say is they don’t know. Everything can be discussed. There's no need to suffer! The best option is to bring the relationship to a level where you can enjoy life with a loved one and discover new facets of being. But you have to try.



You can rightly see how many people there are, so many opinions. However, it is important to learn to call things by their proper names, so it will be easier to understand the meanings that you operate in life: when you understand what is happening, then the decision comes faster. Finally, a nice link about a relationship with a loved one. See you later!