In Chinese philosophy, Confucianism is a theory.If you saved a man's life, you are responsible for all further actions.
With this you can bet. BUT... If you can't learn to say no and don't know how to refuse the man when he you something asks, in essence you begin to live someone else's life and not his.
To help people in need.But there is a saying - better to give a man a rod and teach him to fish than just giving him a fish.So if you don't want to get bogged down in solving other people's problems, learn to say no. Here are 7 ways.
1 — Two questions + One tip
Ask who asks these two simple questions
What he's already done to solve the problem ?
Why he can do to solve it ?
If he gives vague answers, tell me — I can only help when I get answers from you.
If it clearly responds to what, how and why just give him advice from his own experience what to do next.
And clearly and firmly ends the conversation with the phrase — Further discussion will be only after you do what I told you.2 — Offer barter
If you someone about something asks you to answer too about something please. This can be done immediately or first to help and then to seek help.
So you check the person. If you also helps you collaborate on. If he refuses you, then the next time you have a good reason to tell him no.3 — Sign for your daily routine
In fact, the people treat you as you feel about yourself. If you don't appreciate the time and effort and ready at the first call for help, then do not be surprised that people will take you on the neck. Learn to value yourself and your time.
Someone about something asks, pull out the calendar, check and just say No can do I now is the case. But we can talk about this tomorrow at 16.00.
Thus, you show that don't mind helping, but at a convenient time for you.4 — Just say NO
You don't owe anyone anything. If you someone about something asks to answer YES or NOT is your right.
So just say NO. Without explanation, without excuses, without excuses. I just don't. It is not necessary to justify a refusal. That as an excuse. Say no calmly and confidently. And get back to your business.
But if you're used to often agree, then you will not be so easy to do it. So to train this skill includes once a month days when you are all in a row all day saying no. No matter what, and no one.5 — Play The Fool
When someone wants you to stretch to solve other people's problems, tell the following. Look, a couple of months ago I also tried to solve this problem. But I messed up on full and still not solved it.
And ask the question — do You really want to get help from me ?
If you don't want to invent just agreed on the lack of experience and knowledge and say that your help can only make the problem even more.6 — play the game of questions
Just start asking different questions — Yandex asked? And did that? And he what do you think ?
As a rule, people realize that you're not to achieve any of your questions come across it on some idea that he will run to implement it.
7 — Take time to consider the request.
Explain that that's just impossible to help. You need to see what the options are. And since you have stuff to do, then at least a couple of days it will take.
Usually people can't wait so long and go look for other solutions to their problems.
That's about it. And remember, the best help that you can give it a clear recommendation is that a person can do now.
In 99% of cases the man himself can solve their problems if to tell him what to do. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your soznanie — together we change the world! ©
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