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Why You do not like: 9 things that enrage others
There are lots of ways to make people angry, and most of them don't require any effort. Just look at what You are doing in social networks, or chat with You for a few seconds. We have selected some of the most common reasons that push people away, and explain how to avoid such situations. Read — sound familiar?
Twenty six million one hundred fifty six thousand two hundred eighty six
1. You post in social networks too many photos
It's so great to share photos from the honeymoon with prom your relative, and dogs in funny costume. And all for 24 hours.
But studies show that when You post in social networks too many photos, it can damage your relationship with people. "People — if they are not Your close friends and relatives do not really perceive those who are always posting a picture with me," says the author of one of these studies. In particular, Your friends don't like it when You have too many photos of Your family and relatives — when You have too many photos with friends. So be careful with pictures — they can strengthen the relationship and to inflict on him a blow.
2. You have too many or too little friends in social networks
One study asked participants to evaluate profiles of fictional users of the social network. It was in 2008, and then the perfect number of friends was about 300 (about as much on average and the study participants). When the user was about 100, he received a low rating (he simply is not liked by many users), and a similar situation occurred when he was much more than 300 friends. Interestingly, the people did not realize that evaluate the profile according to the number of friends they just told them that people like or dislike.
The authors of the study conclude that those who have too many friends are perceived as people who are too focused on social networks that "will mendat" others in pursuit of popularity.
If you look at the group of people who have, on average, about 1,000 friends on the social network, the ideal number will this the thousands. But recent polls show, the average social network user has 338 friends.
3. Too early to tell you about something personal
Usually people are more like each other when sharing something confidential. But psychologists say that when you reveal some intimate information when developing a relationship with a person, it gives the impression that you are confident, and pushes people away from you. It is important to communicate on a personal level, but not too personal. The study shows Susan Sprecher from the University of Illinois, it is sufficient to tell about your Hobbies and favorite childhood memories — then you seem more warm and pleasant person.
4. You ask others questions, but yourself don't tell
The same study Susan Sprecher shows that it is important to exchange details of his personal life was a mutual. People don't like if you don't share affection in exchange for some kind of intimate information. "Although timid or not confident people can ask questions to divert attention from themselves, our research shows that this is not a good relationship-building strategy," write the authors.
5. Your photo in the profile — too close up
If in your profile, say, in LinkedIn, your face is very close to the camera, it is better to change this picture. Research shows that people photographed from a distance of 45 centimeters, are perceived as less attractive, competent and trustworthy than those who had been removed from a distance of 135 cm.
6. You hide your emotions
Research shows that it is a bad strategy for building relationships. In one study people were shown scenes from famous films and asked to either control their emotions or to Express them openly. Then the video with these people showed the other study participants and asked them how it would be nice to make friends with the people in the video, and appreciate them. Those who suppressed their emotions were rated as less pleasant, less extraverted and less flexible than those who are naturally expressed emotions.
Researchers believe that this is due to the idea of reciprocity that we discussed just above: "When someone hides their feelings, it may be perceived as his disinterest in intimacy, social support, studying together".
7. You behave too kind
You may think that altruism allows you to gain new friends but research suggests the opposite. In 2010 researchers at Washington University gave study participants points, which can be left or exchanged for lunch in the cafe. The participants said that they play in groups of five — although four of them were "decoy," and that when you share your points with others, it increases the chances of the whole group to receive compensation.
Some of the "fake" participants gave a lot of points, but most of the actual participants ended up saying that they no longer want to work together with such people. Some said that against the background of such altruism they themselves look like, while others suspected that the altruists have any hidden selfish motives.
The conclusion is: don't be that person who always agrees to buy and bring pizza to the meeting or deal with a printer in which the paper is jammed. Periodically is to say "no" — just explain why.
8. You praise yourself under the guise of self-criticism
Don't try to impress friends or potential employers, concealing self-aggrandizement for self-criticism. It actually repels many people. In one recent study, students were asked to write how they would tell the interview about your greatest weakness. More than 75% of the participants told me that they are perfectionists or complained that I work too hard.
But the participants who evaluated these reviews are more likely to were willing to hire those who talked about himself honestly, and honest people liked the evaluators — for example, those who wrote that they "are not always good at being organized," or acknowledged that "sometimes reacts too nervously".
Another reasonable option is to write about the weaknesses that do not directly relate to your potential work: for example, if you are applying for the position of copywriter, it is possible to admit that You are afraid to speak publicly.
9. You are too nervous
Studies show that when stress makes others sweat, others unconsciously carried about them an impartial judgement. In 2013, participants in one study were shown a video of women in normal life situations — at work or in communicating with children. While watching in the hall were distributing three types of odors: 1) the smell of sweat during sports activities; 2) smell of sweat that is secreted during times of stress; 3) the smell of sweat from the stress, but with added deodorant.
Participants were then asked to rate the degree of competence and confidence of these women and the trust they deserve. Heroine video received the lowest ratings when the video was accompanied by the smell of sweat caused by stress. Deodorant gave higher scores. So if you tend to sweat from excitement, do not hesitate to use deodorant. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: ideanomics.ru/?p=4975
Twenty six million one hundred fifty six thousand two hundred eighty six
1. You post in social networks too many photos
It's so great to share photos from the honeymoon with prom your relative, and dogs in funny costume. And all for 24 hours.
But studies show that when You post in social networks too many photos, it can damage your relationship with people. "People — if they are not Your close friends and relatives do not really perceive those who are always posting a picture with me," says the author of one of these studies. In particular, Your friends don't like it when You have too many photos of Your family and relatives — when You have too many photos with friends. So be careful with pictures — they can strengthen the relationship and to inflict on him a blow.
2. You have too many or too little friends in social networks
One study asked participants to evaluate profiles of fictional users of the social network. It was in 2008, and then the perfect number of friends was about 300 (about as much on average and the study participants). When the user was about 100, he received a low rating (he simply is not liked by many users), and a similar situation occurred when he was much more than 300 friends. Interestingly, the people did not realize that evaluate the profile according to the number of friends they just told them that people like or dislike.
The authors of the study conclude that those who have too many friends are perceived as people who are too focused on social networks that "will mendat" others in pursuit of popularity.
If you look at the group of people who have, on average, about 1,000 friends on the social network, the ideal number will this the thousands. But recent polls show, the average social network user has 338 friends.
3. Too early to tell you about something personal
Usually people are more like each other when sharing something confidential. But psychologists say that when you reveal some intimate information when developing a relationship with a person, it gives the impression that you are confident, and pushes people away from you. It is important to communicate on a personal level, but not too personal. The study shows Susan Sprecher from the University of Illinois, it is sufficient to tell about your Hobbies and favorite childhood memories — then you seem more warm and pleasant person.
4. You ask others questions, but yourself don't tell
The same study Susan Sprecher shows that it is important to exchange details of his personal life was a mutual. People don't like if you don't share affection in exchange for some kind of intimate information. "Although timid or not confident people can ask questions to divert attention from themselves, our research shows that this is not a good relationship-building strategy," write the authors.
5. Your photo in the profile — too close up
If in your profile, say, in LinkedIn, your face is very close to the camera, it is better to change this picture. Research shows that people photographed from a distance of 45 centimeters, are perceived as less attractive, competent and trustworthy than those who had been removed from a distance of 135 cm.
6. You hide your emotions
Research shows that it is a bad strategy for building relationships. In one study people were shown scenes from famous films and asked to either control their emotions or to Express them openly. Then the video with these people showed the other study participants and asked them how it would be nice to make friends with the people in the video, and appreciate them. Those who suppressed their emotions were rated as less pleasant, less extraverted and less flexible than those who are naturally expressed emotions.
Researchers believe that this is due to the idea of reciprocity that we discussed just above: "When someone hides their feelings, it may be perceived as his disinterest in intimacy, social support, studying together".
7. You behave too kind
You may think that altruism allows you to gain new friends but research suggests the opposite. In 2010 researchers at Washington University gave study participants points, which can be left or exchanged for lunch in the cafe. The participants said that they play in groups of five — although four of them were "decoy," and that when you share your points with others, it increases the chances of the whole group to receive compensation.
Some of the "fake" participants gave a lot of points, but most of the actual participants ended up saying that they no longer want to work together with such people. Some said that against the background of such altruism they themselves look like, while others suspected that the altruists have any hidden selfish motives.
The conclusion is: don't be that person who always agrees to buy and bring pizza to the meeting or deal with a printer in which the paper is jammed. Periodically is to say "no" — just explain why.
8. You praise yourself under the guise of self-criticism
Don't try to impress friends or potential employers, concealing self-aggrandizement for self-criticism. It actually repels many people. In one recent study, students were asked to write how they would tell the interview about your greatest weakness. More than 75% of the participants told me that they are perfectionists or complained that I work too hard.
But the participants who evaluated these reviews are more likely to were willing to hire those who talked about himself honestly, and honest people liked the evaluators — for example, those who wrote that they "are not always good at being organized," or acknowledged that "sometimes reacts too nervously".
Another reasonable option is to write about the weaknesses that do not directly relate to your potential work: for example, if you are applying for the position of copywriter, it is possible to admit that You are afraid to speak publicly.
9. You are too nervous
Studies show that when stress makes others sweat, others unconsciously carried about them an impartial judgement. In 2013, participants in one study were shown a video of women in normal life situations — at work or in communicating with children. While watching in the hall were distributing three types of odors: 1) the smell of sweat during sports activities; 2) smell of sweat that is secreted during times of stress; 3) the smell of sweat from the stress, but with added deodorant.
Participants were then asked to rate the degree of competence and confidence of these women and the trust they deserve. Heroine video received the lowest ratings when the video was accompanied by the smell of sweat caused by stress. Deodorant gave higher scores. So if you tend to sweat from excitement, do not hesitate to use deodorant. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: ideanomics.ru/?p=4975
