People are born geniuses, and in the process of education of them make fools. Able to the same thing are often forced to choose a completely different profession, and then the person suffers all his life. And like most does not know how, considering love is a painful need for another person.
In an interview, said the RANS and psychotherapist of the European register Mikhail Litvak.
— After reading your books one gets the impression that all we have done wrong. Not so taught, not so treated, not to work, do not create families. I understand you correctly?
— Not quite right. Those who like it should learn, work, raise a family and put true to them I have nothing to do. Come to me people hard. And once they are hard, then they somehow grew. One image I really like. Straight tree that grows up feels good. A curve is bad. — By your reasoning, we have almost all curves.
Yes, healthy not so much. Psychologically healthy. In the process of education on a person impose any restrictions and instead of a smooth growth it starts to mangle. And then he gets sick, he seeks help. — You said that in the psychological help we need 85% of the population.
Is my research of the four thousand workers in two large factories. The sample is large enough to be extrapolated to the other. But knowing our educational system, it is hard to imagine that it can be saved. After all, what is its essence? That man is what he is, he does not need us. As on the lawn when the plants are up out of their cut and people cut. As soon as there is some outstanding student, he begin to fight, he is not like everyone else. Of course, the most affected are those people who could have a lot to achieve. — What to do?
— The child must grow, and not to educate. Education is a constraint. And the most serious limitation is the prohibition to think. Because if the child starts to do something different, incomprehensible teachers, they will put a deuce. Here I helped the youngest son to solve the math problem. And the son then says, wrong, we have the teacher not so decided. And next time it will not be a problem to solve, and guess what the teacher. Or when a person has a bleak life, he begins to celebrate the holidays. And it's not by nature. By nature every day should be a holiday. — How is it?
— Just elementary. Interesting work and love. And love in second place. We love waiting for more than she can give. Here I built a house. Have electricity, water, heating, Sewerage. All can live. But there is no Wallpaper. And people think that the Wallpaper is the main thing. Figuratively speaking, shit in the head a lot, and that shit drives behavior. — Under the shit that mean?
Installation that are contrary to reality. For example, the celebration of the New year. It costs the man of 100 thousand dollars at least. Only I think it is not how much he earns now and how much I wish I could. For example, the normal earnings of a therapist per hour is $ 100. But you can achieve it immediately, at age 18, and 25. But if people two weeks before the New year the boundaries of what you do, two weeks after, and don't live up to ourselves, of course. And then there's the rules – no need to think, do, and nobody will touch you. To grow, not only will. And then it becomes bad. The man feels that they can do better. — It turns out that holidays and traditions invented some pests?
— No, not pests. They once needed the service. For example, the wedding. Before all who came to your wedding, then went to build you a house. And now it's a Ghost. And the ghosts continue to take our precious time, energy, force, and then on real cases they have no choice. Or take the laws of social life. If I grow up, and the person with me doesn't want to grow, then it is necessary to leave. Here begins – I forgot in one class studied, and now do not want to chat. I teach – if your friend got a promotion and became chief, stop trying to communicate with him. He with you is not in hand, it is now very different people. But not like your situation – think how to grow. — How grow?
— You need to become a professional class. Then automatically will be useful to others. This is Adam Smith said. I now write books. Tell us how to live better, more comfortable. The results are there – many of my students have steeply risen. It is possible, it turns out that in our conditions of success to achieve. And when I stopped the birthday and new year to celebrate, even if someone from communicating with me refused... — With the holidays clear. They are created for those who have a boring job. And where it went to a cut above the rest?
— So it is difficult for me to make, that someone above me. Envy. Teacher jealous of student?
Jealous, if he has great creative potential. And the teacher, if ceased to grow, it becomes for the student a barrier. — But then it turns out that a man's happiness in personal growth, and people do not want to grow?
They newrotation. I'm trying not to consult a love brunch, because I frankly boring when the person from itself represents nothing, and claim that must have people held. Healthy, spiritually developed, economically independent. And I respond – what cynicism. — In response to your offer to become a professional class?
When one comes to love pain, I ask how much you earn. Learn how to earn five thousand dollars, and then deal with family problems. — And in addition how to become a professional-class, there is another way?
I don't know. And at whose expense live? Then there are those people who do not work, such as the wife of "new Russian"...
Are idiots. Here's an example. We have one of the Rostov tycoon married to a hairdresser, took it off from work. And then he was shot. She's 25 years and five children. So I watched it a few years have gone around the world. Have been trained – would be retained by the state. And he said, why, I myself earn. To talk about this seriously, what idiot perceive. And that in the business plan man and woman are one and the same.
— Reasoning of many women, that for them career is secondary, and the primary home, family, children – is that ridiculous?
— Of course, nonsense. When people gather, going by a mutual addition. I know a family. She is the Director of the plant, he educates children. And normally happens when he realizes that it is better to have these qualities developed, and she – business. After all, it's the same statistic that a man is more businesslike. But we are dealing with a specific case.
According to statistics, men are taller than women, but I do at the seminars is women who are 10 inches taller than me.
A man and a woman is only when it comes to sex and participation in childbirth. And when talking about the case, then someone better makes. We women are raised in the style of latent prostitution. She's looking for a man who would have protected her, fed, lived for her. And she can be anything.
How is it called? Me the usual prostitution seems more honest when a prostitute works the technique of sex, receives the money and not imposed on man as permanent life partner. I scream – is immoral. And I say – is it not immoral to live with a man you don't love and he doesn't love you and just society requires. I think it's more immoral. — In the family and if one person is focused on growth and the other doesn't want to grow, then divorce is inevitable?
— Of course. Better to fix it than to pretend that the family survived. — One of your students once asked you whether it was true that around one crazy. You said that this is so.
Is even Nietzsche said that crazy units – the exception, the crazy mass rule. There are psychotic disorders – delusions, hallucinations, ridiculous behavior. Such crazy little, about six in a thousand. And there are neurotic disorders – envy, resentment, shyness, shame, guilt. And they suffer the most. And my student just woke up and realized that all live not in life, and by the rules. But life is very different. What people don't see each other and see the image. — And spend all their forces to play roles?
Yes. The girl has a gold medal and a diploma. She needs to study further and she fixated on the men. When I have a kid going to be? — That is, women should not worry if they have to 25-30 years still no husband and children?
— So if it is birch, it needs cypress. And while she's growing tomatoes, she can be caught a good man? No. Soon the tomatoes will fall. Life enough to grow?
— Of course, enough. You just need to start to grow. First slowly, then growth will go with great speed. — And what about the elderly and disabled who are professionals will not be?
— I do not know. I'm not the President. But to a young and healthy man, if he can't do something, I have no compassion no. Go to the wholesale market and buy and then sell. Or car taksi... — If the President took you to the advisers, what would you have advised him?
— First, I have studied the state of Affairs. Now I see one sitting, but standing is completely different. In this and our misfortune that we are for the President to talk taken, and for themselves in any way can not solve. Take care of business to a state you did. If I don't have to mess with the young and healthy, maybe for the elderly something more will appear. — Now authorities turn to you for advice?
— Apply quite often. The fact that many who I have studied, they themselves came into power. And we have how it is – good doctor put the chief of Department. But there are very different responsibilities. They need others to manage, and not patients to treat. That comes in handy at our school. I have a group of Directors, 30. Recently, two more did. By the way, I now work with the Olympic team, so they even biochemical analyses in normal come. Tellingly, where people are motivated to higher achievement. And when our neurotic say, Oh, come on, you have to conquer the whole world, he looks at me like crazy. He comes to live, to somehow stretch out. What Olympians did not have enough?
— The problems are the same. Wife left him, and he thinks about it. We have helped not to think, and the results are better. Or rowing four in the boat sits, and all with each other. A little work with them – become more friendly. — By the way, about "wife left him". One of your ideas is the desacralization of love. At least one of which sang songs in which to kill themselves. A Litvak came, and said: love is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love, and everything else – neurotic disorder.
Actually, love is a rare thing. Its rarely seen, and few know how to love. People call love, when without this person can not live. And this is not love, but need. Love is when I with this person even better, though, I'm good. — That is, if one person when the other starts to beat faster heart...
— Hysteria is real. Children's reaction – take out so positive. Offense that left you. — What about the saying "he who does not lose his head, he loses a lot"?
Author: Alexander Kolesnichenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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