Hello, boss! Where to swim away your money and dreams? Judgment Day "Sales Department"

A series of articles entitled "Commercial real estate in the context of»
Author - Victor A. Hudson.

Article №11: «Hello, boss! Where to swim away your money and dreams? Judgment Day "Sales Department».


Updating text from 12.28.2013 years

(present understanding is indispensable, hence the advice to the reader: read the articles in chronological order and clarifies the incomprehensible words of the glossary below the article or with a dictionary. Sam does. VG)

"Guys, what is it you're rolling out
pepelats of the garage without gravitsapu? Disorder! »

 - Uncle Vova film "Kin-Dza-Dza!»

(For those who have not seen, do not understand or do not like this movie - my condolences!)

We are living in a wonderful time! Miracles - all the time. I've been racking my head how to start an article, and then take it and get one ... Review my article: "Thanks for the lecture but we in Russia methods of" bourgeois "of management - are not working. And vryat who can convince me that after 15 years in the real estate "(sorry for the spelling and vocabulary - a quotation is placed in the author's performance). I just "broke", as it is now expressed youth. I realized at that moment the meaning of the idiom and capacity in full. God be with him, "ochepyatka" him and commas. The meaning of what a! The subtext. And how much aplomb ...
No, it was right after Zadornov when saliva from the screen splashed over our home-grown "managers." And when these are the same (which is like these), and said that the Russian land will not become scanty fools ever. So that's that. ...

Well, that article is not something my management was. That is not managed as such, and sales. What is different from the management department at all. On * A proposed any business. The director is not the seller, the other function, in fact in the destination. Okay, that management is not bourgeois or proletarian there in principle. He is either an effective or stupid - in fact. Without specifically expressed (and any tangible) national or social attributes. Okay, that chelovechische without any compunction practically identifies their "methods" from all over Russia a priori. Although about a conscience at all can I say - it is "after 15 years" this (!) "In real estate».
This subject is also a pompous (and amazingly naive) believes that someone of sound mind and clear memory is so "lost" and foolish swearing that indeed is his (that it) to try to "persuade, after 15 years in property "that may make things go right, as a whole. AND WHERE? In the area of ​​sales of commercial real estate ... Oh my God ... Oh, no!
Not me. I have something just perfectly know who, how and why "step on the tail" with his articles and publications. In which position and how many times. It's hard to imagine (and I hesitate to say) that this "product-looking", and the like, will, if this giant "in real estate" will overcome the remaining texts of my articles. But here it is - hardly! It it is necessary to tear off "a clever and kind" look away from the TV, ass secretary or, God forbid, sports (political, scandal, etc.) chronicle in the newspaper or on the Internet at your favorite "rec" -site. As he did on this story hit, and even something they "worshiped" (?), I'll never know. Did not end of the world, guys? Dinosaurs do not roll on the streets? Something happened, and I've missed? Zhirinovsky became the president of the United States ?? In the first round ?! Instead, Indian ... what? - And out of the lineup?
What's that, and the "level of professional interest of" those "specialists" is familiar to me. Bucks and show-off the ball. And the style if the "diarrhea" can be called such a decent short, too familiar. It has long-oh ...

I would not have remembered this wise guy at all, and would not write anything in this article, if it were not demonstrated them directly and unabashedly this one is the "style". This blatantly indicative "method", these views on the matter, and, sorry, this mentality "in real estate" with poluugolovnym flёrom and it is a criminal "period." 15 years!!! It is 1995, among other things (with the first publication of this article!). It is a disgrace to the people during the criminal division and looting of everything in the country - the bandits of all ranks and levels. Crooks of all kinds. "The era of primary accumulation of capital," as was subsequently named (to justify and retouch history) rabid, impudent and cynical - absolutely complete mess post-perestroika times. Time "counters," The Fellowship of the soldering iron in anus.
Time does not heal. Only hides and disguises. Now the emerging formation of modern, ethical and socially intelligent businessmen in their own skin feels the consequences of this "new Russian business is." Every day.
Dinosaurs are not extinct! Zatiharilis only masks changed to solid and respectable. BUT - the smell! Oh ... formaldehyde rushing. The stench comes such that infects is located near everything. And not only in the commercial real estate and business. But here, it's just very clearly expressed. And, most importantly, and worst of all - are used to it. If there is no "darling" of this, the people had even bothered. Talking to someone on the case, saying as it is, you call a spade a spade - and he felt, just not directly say aloud, but he wants to say (really!):

- And what's the catch ?!

The administrator, the management (and management - a profession!), There is such a term - "index." This tool head. This is an obvious and direct fact of having quantitative and qualitative values, clearly and directly pointing to the current situation in a particular sphere of production, business operation. A clear and specific "label" - the red alarm lamp burning on the remote. And the main function of any leader is to have a system of indicators and read them. "Look - do not listen!" - The motto and creed of this tribute to the administrator. And we have ... in the real estate business ... bin?

We in the army, where the worst - is to remove the tonsils. Why is that? Because everything is done through the ass. Our medium and small already, too, business is fashionable, and everywhere has got so-called "sales". What is quite clear, the business - a collective game. All the work he did not do. BUT! But what is usually "work" and where there is always "do" these same departments, and how! - This is more a song. I'm not talking about the other sectors of the economy, although it can not quite - there, too, "firewood" enough. I'm talking about this with you by blood - real estate.
Had a "happiness" to chat with many, many, and cold as a dead body in the morgue, "esengeshnymi 'sales teams for the last couple of years. When read out for himself figures in the field of activity. Pancake! People there just is not. Or rather - what. ... Zombie Zoo. Look out epithets, I'm afraid to get carried away. That's just not exactly where sellers. Or almost none. I can understand (but not take!) Himself "personnel" of these departments. For a salary you can ogle his boss until the second coming. And quietly arrange their personal lives for the mighty backs boss, and often in front of her bottom. Who else will be arranged. Especially because of the "law of large numbers" sometimes something and still heals. That is not only thanks to their efforts, but in spite of such.
One hundred percent of the time!
I feel sorry that there is no paradox, alas, no! Then you understand why. Soon. But the owners themselves, the founders, leaders - and I can not even understand. I do not want. This by itself - it's time to ... have to wipe the monitor. Forgotten immortal aphorism Prutkov: "If a cage with a tiger says" buffalo "- do not believe your eyes!". Look! Himself. Performance is always there. Any department, sector, department - each employee on hierarchical position. In the sales department - too. His figures have (should have!), Specific quantitative and qualitative values ​​per unit of time - hour, day, month, quarter, year. DIMENSIONS work done on the process as a whole. And the result of this work - a valuable end product (CCU). And it's always how many products. And not "because it" and "because" different from the careless ... though skillfully disguised as "workaholic." How many completed (!), Not done:

The survey was conducted - how much?
Calls are made - how many?
Letters sent - how much?
The text is - how much?
Mailing ordered - how much?
Campaigns carried out - how much?
Replies received - how much?
Views objects - how much?
Ads in newspapers - how much?
On the site - how much?
Offers - how much?
With specific sums - how much?
Applications received - how much?
Research and evaluation - how many?

And so on, but still - how much?

Transactions hell - how ?!

For you, it is necessary and in the end, not fairy tales, songs like "we wrote, we wrote - our fingers are tired!". Uncle! You have a rich uncle - you give a salary! Familiar? Friends - know. To a greater or lesser degree, but definitely familiar. I have listed the indicators for the sales department at random, arbitrary, and not in order. I do not intend here to describe the precise and ordered list podproduktov the production sale of the object. Sami job, it is - your job. But even so, it is clear that it should interest owner with respect to actions and results from your "sales department".
Everyday. Report. Writing. For the signature of the responsible. With a schedule of statistics * proper scale. At least - weekly schedule. And, God forbid, line graphs of key positions (in the general stream of sales) will go down more than two weeks. The shooting on the spot! Vacant - Booking is free. You are not a person to drink water ... and pay them a salary. So at least we ought to see and know - for what? Otherwise ...
Donut hole, you will have another, rather than deal! Eat - not oblyapaytes. If someone with a mustache - shakes. I am personally of "sellers" have had enough. Fed. What do you want. "We have written!" ... They wrote-wrote. With the accent on the first syllable.

If you have now at least one employee who is able to read this article and you make such graphs, well, at least for the last couple of months (for all divisions) - You're damn lucky! Pick him a salary and make this feature part of his work. Right! If these graphics grew and the deals were - safely kiss him in there too ... you can, give him a MacBook Pro 2011-2012, the assembly (until the influence of Steve Jobs has not strangled to end at Apple). And his salary doubled, without taking into account the previous advance. Think about the crimson trousers. Such happiness is almost does not happen - and you have. And also some luck ... oh my!
The rest dismisses the fuck to hell. By this, I mean how are they? - Officials in the public sector, to the security forces in the state and they like unicellular and let go. Characters "The Beggar's Opera." * On landfill - from living things away. Prosekli? I explain how. At full speed! Very quickly, in half an hour. To kryaknut they did not have time (not you! - And the employee). No detours. Right. How to explain anything to them ... On a personal car razvezite, close their mouths with money, benefits and insurance any! Grosch ruptured they are manufacturers, for you, as an employer, are not. Do you have a seller, and it gives you a product. He - one! Offline. The rest, and everything else - a hindrance. Him and you. I donёs idea? A crimson and pants! And how! I do not joke, do not even think ...
If you have not done so, Fu-yi! - Well, you know, my friend! - There is an urgent need to change your disposition his office. For more, for you, a good geographical location, and in advance. In the retail and office center "Kanatchikov Dacha" *. Or the like in your city. Most place. Especially since there still will - those same sotrupniki (not a typo), which you nedouvolili themselves to you, and transmit. Will bring a white handle. Sooner or later. And you yourself have to run away from them. Or in any other state-owned house will be taken. Many of them, these homes - and different and caring our state. On this score. In short, will have their own, personal, personal "haunted house" - so, anyway.

That's all (crimson pants, etc.) is appropriate if you be in luck, and there is you have such footage. You have time and they have not "gone." Or they may not mess on the spit and pushed off much fresher. Away from paranoid schizophrenia "tough business." These guys are not door mats and well see the difference in everything. Especially in the work and in relation to it. And usually I do not tolerate nonsense for a long time. I know, I've been such a seller. But even if they did not have you guys in producing this state of your department, then sure - nepruha! The crisis of the genre, this. Passage is not far off. Have you, or "personnel officer" you think popyhtet until you find it. He was, incidentally, also Statistics assign and give the task at a particular period. Staff productivity is his MSC. And even he, at least, must know how to distinguish this from the employee's well-disguised threat. Someone must "separate the sheep from the goats." Do not pull - to dismiss, and refer to the pros, look - are there with us.
I am still very grateful to Vladimir Sidorenko, the founder and owner of "Performa" for his seminar on this topic in Kharkiv. It seems to me that it was a hundred years ago, when I was just starting out then the head, the light in the window opened. I already had thirty "Gavrikov" in the state and the "roof" riding an adult. Naive was judged on its own. And the idea that employees can and must make themselves and feed the company for some reason it never slipped up. Yes, there are some ideas! Head-and almost no choice. Thus, the cauldron with the problems instead of the head. I do not have thought that and survive. In both the "magicians and clowns," I had suffered. Every day - both at the front. In the "final and decisive" ... When I remember - well I tremble.
What do you want something more? What are awarded - what you get. Here is a crude and impartial general statistics: 80% of all necessary to achieve the desired result of the work usually done 20% of the total staff. Including you! Usually.

What are these 80% are engaged in at the time when key employees, including you, plow as hell at the forefront? Belly without sparing. As it is, what? La, la, la! To create the appearance of work and interfere. You. Surreptitiously. Plus other "childish pranks" with grown-effects. And getting paid for it. Usually. You do it and pay for it. And it is they, for your own money, sly survive those who are still trying to do their job. Including you. They have something to do just that and have enough time and energy, and inspiration. Usually quite well if they do not interfere. What do you think? And, by the way, like yourself, usually with the forces of time and mood?
I'll then shove a bunch of "usual", sorry. This is to ensure that you have eliminated a minute as usual, pastoral view of things and realized "normally" and "normal" is not the same thing. Is not it so? Okay, get and read the famous essay the end of the last century "Message to Garcia." It feels better. We are not alone. Yes - that's resume. More precisely - the verdict! God be with him, you're strong, will experience. The same statistics: when the number of people actually producing group is reduced (and it is usually only a matter of time) with twenty Usually, percent to 10/15, the company or the project "kirdyk"! That is, here, too, has its own "critical mass" followed her certainly a chain reaction. A "kirdyk" is not treated by psychiatrists. But bring to him they too can! Just their profile. How is it with the eyes? Open?

Then we drove on. Sales have never and nowhere "Firm" or "organizations" do not. And it will not do any-to-GDS. The Earth is round, and the sun rises in the east, and not vice versa. Sale always creates a person, an individual. Group, in the best case, it helps. At worst - do not interfere. And in the gloomy version - you know already .... And here is the head of the control is needed - ooh! any control, and the procedure is also such. Reinforced. If such supervision and the seller (the real, productive) in nature and the fact you have, then you and then "all four" landed. I have already mentioned to you - how well and what to do. Sales are inevitable. Clever. Then. And if it does not have and you do it, instead of their "vosmidesyatnichkov" do not - a hundred-of-the-Yat your sales for years. And will stand. Tetanus. Well stand as after Viagra. And with the same effect - everything is beautiful, and to sense something ...
He read, wrote and think that I should not write. In vain, probably not worth it at all - if only because it's true. And for this we have a small tailbone massage traditionally. But I did not devour the employees 'employment services' and their patients ... exactly! With rare exception, and random (like the one I was talking about at first) for such articles have the autopilot is not working. Tired guys so - at work! Still ...
In this article, in theory, has its own specific target audience. Hello, boss! And if you still courageously came to this place in the text, then certainly deserved one more bonus. Hooray! There is a mine. For you. There is one more indicator of the topic. For this very "juicy" department - sales department. A simple indicator. Ridiculously simple and obvious. You did not know? MONEY!
They birthmarks. Evergreen. And dearly loved. YOUR MONEY. A figure is that - where the money actually goes, spent, used thereby klyatyh department? For what? What are "urgent needs" of the department and requires (demands-demands!) You have, and how much? And on that spending? And how many? And how many of those sums goes directly to the creation of effluent to ensure that demand? There is?


For you and respect -

Glossary: ​​


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