2. Very little entertainment
3. Country of iron horses
4. Shooting landfill
5. With the ready tank
6. Vintoletny squad
7. Mowing on takeoff
8. Eaglets learn to fly
10. Radio-electronic games
11. Rampant passions
12. Games are played Ninja [NEXT]
In our unit, Colonel came and announced that we will learn subversive case under the new program. Before the end of the training will not leave anyone alive. And if someone does not agree, then let him write a report. His shot out of turn.
Came Sgt. He said that our training will be engaged by him. Will be trained in a special school, a secret (and technology) Ninja, which do not know even the ninja. As a demonstration of capabilities sergeant broke the head of railway sleepers and ate a helmet. Everyone was shocked.
It turned out that colonel joked about the shooting. Nothing, meet - also joked. He's in flippers on a telegraph pole climb.
Studied dig holes by beavers speed and jump over them. By the end of the day, all learned to jump over eight-meter pit.
To stimulate jumping sergeant pulled into the pits barbed wire, so all learned to jump 15 meters.
Studied to jump fences. With the two-meter no problems. And with the help of the wise sergeant, barbed wire and bracket with sharpened nails all learned to jump over the three-meter fences.
At night, half units AWOL washed off, jumping over the fence.
We arrived builders of special construction troops and build a fence to 7 meters in height, since by all accounts a person is not physically able to jump much. Under the guidance of the wise sergeant and planks with nails learned to jump five-meter fences.
At night, he went AWOL in the other half of the unit. If the person can not jump over the fence, he could fly it. With powder accelerator.
Learning to crawl on the walls. It turns out badly. The sergeant said that the walls of the crawl can learn even a monkey, but it will stimulate us.
Creeps well, but often fall down. The sergeant laid the bottom plank with nails. The first fell Ivanov. Nails bent, Ivanov hardly affected.
Surely crawling on the walls. Ivanov afraid of heights, so the level of the sixth floor begins to vomit. But it does not fall, because the sergeant promised to kick his ass.
Came unit commander. I asked to draw up a timetable samovolok. Because the mass detectors, heat, and other entities are not designed for a ninja. However, we quickly Sergeant breakup, saying that these detectors are designed for greater shooting pigeons and not to catch some competent saboteur. Later, however, he relented and muttered, "Let the boys will walk", but promised to put traps and surprises his own flog the one who foolishly they will fall.
The sergeant came up with a green mug. He got into his own surprise that Petrov, making evening stroll and found rearranged to another place. All day long tormented guesses - as a sergeant will flog myself? But the spectacle. unfortunately, never came.
At night unanimously looked for all the surprises traps. They found not only them. The number of trophies got 6 anti-tank mines, 4 machine gun 3 for underwater shooting, 7 stingers and two battering logs with a titanium core (not to mention a little thing like a box of grenades F1 white coloring books and a box of ammunition for ShKAS). Trophies buried in the storeroom, but could not resist and put surprises in the most interesting places. Rest of the night wondering what was here for part before?
The sergeant managed fall into two traps, so resembled freshly painted chameleon. Studied throw forks and spoons. Because the sergeant said knives "any fool knows how to throw." Tomorrow will throw umbrellas.
Meta umbrellas. Well thrown umbrella to break through the veneer of 5 mm from 20 meters. Sergeant, in turn, makes the focus 100 meters. But he stuffed hand.
According to the sergeant, if titanium tungsten umbrella spokes, it not only plywood and brickwork proshibet.
At night storeroom dug into a lead block of unknown origin. We went to the nearest village and recklessly tried to henhouse.
The commander came and told me that one night in the henhouse grandfather meteorite fell. Break through the wall and three chickens. Carcasses has not yet been found. Feathers grandfather was going to give to the Foundation of the World. We assured the commander that the assigned area was quiet.
They teach the art of being invisible in the rear of a potential enemy. Pitched at couples and playing hide and seek. In the role of an arbitrator made sergeant temporarily assigned nominal kick. Leg Sergeant hard, so losers flew about ten meters.
Teaches you how to not only be invisible, but inaudible, as they were tied bells. Under the guidance of the wise sergeant and his kicks it got so bad that the sergeant someone stole cigarettes. I found that it made a clumsy Vas'kin, while managing to smoke it half-stack. The sergeant was surprised this fact and began to swear at nindzyavskom language. For two hours we faithfully outlined his speech. It is necessary to know how to communicate with the population in the rear of a potential enemy. At the end of the speech sergeant promised to arrange a surprise to us tomorrow.
The sergeant brought anti-theft devices, responsive to vibrations and pinned us to consolidate the skills of blind spots. Continued study unseen and unheard, but quickly stopped. As it turned out, the device is too loud howls and works from any of the passing fly. In addition, residents of the nearby village might think that stealing cattle from here, because they were told that there is an advanced poultry farm for elite puppies.
Educational impact parameter throw shuriken at moving targets - flying bowl, as the plates quickly ended. Past geese flying school. We decided to try shurikens at them. Then he had to think, what to do with so much meat. Sold to the village, bought champagne and, nindzyavskomu custom, drank it for the repose of souls of geese. Let them stew will be down.
It was found that the powder accelerators are not many, and they should be saving. Sidorov suggested the use of a fire hook to overcome the fence instead of six. Why we have not guessed?
Sergeant came and announced that in the evening we do a test sortie. Firstly, for the replenishment of products and secondly, to check learned knowledge. Combat mission - to sneak into the garden, stock up there cabbage, zucchini and just quietly disappear. All combat missions successfully completed, and even exceeded.
In the morning I came to the commander of the local chairman of "collective farm" with trembling hands and slurred speech. After otpaivaniya liter of alcohol found out that night to the chairman's personal garden came demonic power. As a result - there is no trace of vegetables in the garden disappeared and ten wolfhounds guard patrolling the garden, all night did not see or hear. Strangely, and what are we so Rushed together yesterday at the same garden? To the chairman is not too upset and did not die of hunger, we decided to return half.
The commander came again chairman. It shakes the whole. After otpaivaniya two liters of alcohol said that under the influence of evil forces in the empty garden grown vegetables for the night, and in the center of the garden - 12 meter pine. Five guards with automatic Berdan rifle and dog did not notice anything. The commander promised to promote and highlight the need for a modest fee a few chickens of the "piranha".
We conducted an internal investigation and found that the pine dragged Susanin for the introduction of a potential enemy into confusion.
Today we have praised sergeant. He said that even idiots like us, yet learned how some useful things. Although still not able to crawl across the ceiling as normal flies, not to train ninzdyavskomu art. So he flies stuck to the ceiling, and we were crawling and otkovyrivali them.
2. Very little entertainment
Someone foolishly asked the sergeant what guns and assault rifles prefer ninja. In response, Sergeant wound up like a tractor "Belarus" and gave us a lecture about what a real ninja one nail can kill an entire company. His arms and legs heavy sergeant (know tried), so he is not exaggerating. And everyone there is only pistols nothing pulled cowards and need ninja like a dog's tail fifth. Another sergeant told in confidence that, if well and properly throw a chair, you can shoot down the helicopter. But to ensure the best use of two chairs - one in the face, and the other - in a ponytail. And if you have the legs of a chair titanium-tungsten, and the APCs are not big trouble.
We teach you how to throw the bullets from a Makarov pistol. By the end of the day Sidorov knocked on the target of 100 100, but before firing the gun, he did not succeed. The sergeant says that if brought major target, we will learn to throw in their weights.
We are lucky! Today we caught the colonel and, despite his idiotic protests, pinned his flippers and drove to a telegraph pole. Peel back the Colonel can not shoot it and we do not want. It's our most successful joke for a month of training.
We learned to catch the bullet teeth. To protect themselves from those crazy, they love to shoot. Instead of bullets used acorns, because usually you need to catch a bullet softly and unobtrusively, but we did not yet know how. Miracle in the feathers screaming from the post every half hour. We began to check with him hours.
Studied the correct fence machetes. Fence, however, broomstick, not a sword. Since only natural given the sword to hold and smell. So that we do not accidentally spoiled furniture and state environment (benches, sheds, trees, grass). Colonel sitting on a telegraph pole, threw a string bag with bananas. This joker is not ate only bananas, but a string bag.
Teaches fencing on the ropes. With small little weights at the end. Ivanov, in a burst of enthusiasm razmahalsya so that soared. After that, we started to learn to fly, under the guidance of the wise sergeant and his kicks.
In the evening we entertained that crawled across the ceiling and beaten flies. The eyes of flies from such a spectacle was five cents.
Colonel fell off the pole. Yesterday we forgot to feed him, so he ate fins. Then he fell down, unable to resist a telegraph pole. The sergeant said philosophically, so come true ninja when they have to sit long in ambush. Let it remain naked, but will perform its task. Sergeant hinted that would be nice to work out and eaten our own clothes. I had to distract him from this plan anecdotes.
In the evening we entertained that flies knocked on the fly, spitting.
They teach you how to crawl on the walls of the mirror technology flies. Only flies well, but we lack limbs. The spectacle before cool that the most difficult - not neighing. While falling on the nails do not hurt, but the sergeant needs to straighten them back.
In the evening, it was boring. Flies after yesterday's show off somewhere hiding. Entertained the night hunting cockroaches.
Caught cockroaches neatly painted blue with red edging and exorbitant prices driven into a pet shop near as exotic spiders of Madagascar.
In the evening, the money celebrated the 36th day of training. About appetizer just do not think, so I had to come back to the garden to the chairman of "collective farm". Wolfhounds guard also treated to brandy.
Mowed grass. With bare hands. Because the sergeant said that any fool can mower. Apparently, it is us, and eat.
I went chairman and complained that his dog yesterday overeat bleached. Anyway, they had a view of this. They explained that the dogs do not have enough vitamins. And beer. With a chairman wrapped bottle of cognac and three
bag grass clippings.
Educational flying on balloons. Means, of course, is slow, but quiet and drives the opponent into shock. While he precipitated reduce a surprise jaw and rubs his eyes three times, you can do efficiently. During training ogle pigeon flies past. Pigeons surprise fell into a tailspin.
I Came Chairman and said that he had gone mad rabbits and staged a riot. I ask what to do with them? Shovel immediately or wait? Chairman explained that rabbits during the summer of schizophrenia. It happens sometimes. And we wondered who this morning whistled a bag of LSD ... We joke on the sergeant fell. A "vitaminchiki" turns out to be rabbits skhrumkali.
Educational disguised as animals. Petrova in a rush of feeling almost fucked bear, but I got on the glands, after which they were best friends. Sidorov, who dreamed to try French cuisine, "zakosil" under the stork and frogs glut oneself.
Today is the last day of training at a poultry farm, but we call her chicken coop. The sergeant said it sensual. He said that we have wasted more than a month on the best years of his life, but at least something to teach "these idiots" and expressed confidence that the end of life we will learn more. If you will live. Then he gave us a nindzyavsky sword, a long memory. Sam MacLeod was holding it in his hand. All deeply moved and made a feast.
But all the fun has just begun ...
3. Country of iron horses
We slept till noon. But then came a lieutenant and started to wake us. We did not understand him arrogance and showed it to him and the ancient nindzyavsky reception "Kyuzki matte." Lieutenant somehow offended. That he howled like a beluga during haymaking, he poured 500 grams. Lieutenant drunk and howling stopped. Then we woke up and began to honk all together with the lieutenant. Along the way, untied talk about that and about this. That's what we told the lieutenant. The authorities decided that for a change in our diversionary preparation useful ability to competently manage a variety of means of transportation. Therefore, we once again coming academic session.
For the purposes of the conspiracy behind us came the refrigerator labeled "Chickens". Upload and drove off. It bored ... and we started to sing songs. Two hours later, the drivers asked us to shut up, because they got a couple of requests to sell the chickens mutants that escape from the cold in the grass jokes and sing bawdy songs in the language of the aborigines of New Zealand.
Upon arrival, we lay down on the grass and gave simultaneous snoring.
Major came and said that he was here the main speakers. What it reasonably be argued that the aces - one-eyed. Major was somewhat embarrassed but told a harrowing story of how he took over the gills sound barrier. The wings of the aircraft were repaired, and the aircraft was required to test with the engine. And the Major had to take the sound barrier directly on the highway. We almost burst into tears. Bird was a pity. I mean - the plane.
Instructors came and gave us a motorcycle. What for a lecture that the bikes are of three types. Tricycles - for children and pensioners, two-wheeled - for ordinary people, and one-wheeled - for professionals. Well, what about ... legged Marines run faster and better.
Rode with pleasure, though, instructors yelled that the pillars have to go around and not to drive them up.
Instructors began to pull in front of us the ropes. But we did not lose them, and snack on the fly. Instructors began to shout that the cables are tensioned in order for us to feel one with the bike, and have jumped through them. We said that we can not be one with the motorcycle as the engine in our ass is not provided. Instructors somehow looked at us like we were idiots.
They teach you how to "take the barrier." Ivanov alarmed and drove through the barrier (a brick wall). Others simply jumped over it, grabbing the bike in his arms. Instructors wept.
In the evening, Ivanov, Petrov and Sidorov came to walk on exercise. I did not like rockers. However, their rockers - too. Our little rockers kicked technique to "eight". Then he thought, and kicked a little more - up to "nine". I wonder how the rockers will go to the "nines»?
Instructors spat at us. In that sense. that just does not happen with easy ground transportation (subway, they would have dragged here), it may turn out to fly. They took us on a tour of the hangar for helicopters. Ivanov tried antenna on the tooth. I bit off, but the instructors did not notice.
Sidorov instructors dispute arose which ended with Sidorov called "earth worm". In response Sidorov tied rotor blade assembly. Instructors long cursed.
Susanin ditched two helicopters.