How to understand a man's pregnant wife:

 
1-3 months
1. every evening poisoning yourself - for example, eat overdue fish and drink milk. Then find out why.
2. The next morning, get up, drink sleeping pills and go to work. If you strongly feel sick - stay home, but if you please clean up and cook dinner.
3. Tie the legs sandbags - a half kilogrammma.
4. Eat cheese. If you do not want to - a little bit.
5. It shall not eat, you can not. This - as well. And it is. Better - an apple.
6. Throw soda, are you?
7. Lie down and eat more yogurt.
8. Wipe once vomited. Do not call my wife - she's busy.
9. Go to the clinic and return blood from a vein on AIDS and syphilis.
10. Three times a month for inspection at the proctologist.

3-6 months
1. Go to the abdomen front tie mattress with water.
2. When the dress - not you untying it,
and stare at his shoes.
3. Sleeping too with a mattress. How-how? On the side!
4. Do not forget to drink sleeping pills in the morning.
5. And before going to work - a liter of water.
6. On the same night, drink a liter of water and diuretic.
7. In the nose insert cotton wool so that the air passed,
but would be easy odyshkaa. Fleece wear constantly.
8. It's hard to breathe? Ventilate the room more often - some help.
9. Go to the clinic and return blood from a vein.
As what? AIDS and syphilis. No matter what you have already passed.
10. Three times a month for inspection at the proctologist. Mattress not you untying.

6-9 months
1. Every morning, sit on the swivel chair and steep 10 minutes.
When the vestibular apparatus finally refuses to cooperate with you - get up and going to work. Oh, you rock? I sympathize, it will pass.
2. Mattress inflate stronger.
3. Drink a diuretic, and at work drink a glass of water every hour.
4. Try not to leave from the workplace very often.
Be alert and running within vsegor working day.
If you get it too easy - increase your
a daily dose of sleeping pills.
5. Increase the weight of sandbags that you bind the feet:
let them be for now 2 kilograms each.
6. In the evening, without untying the mattress, go to bed and be a terrific lover!
7. If you think that your wife had another man - be indulgent.
8. Give your wife more time and attention. Imagine - because she, too hard!
9. Go to the clinic and return blood from a vein. As what? Yes, all at the same - to AIDS and syphilis.
10. Three times a month for inspection at the proctologist. Of course with a mattress that question?