The main negative trait of women, many men call a propensity for "brain stem". Often men who have been married and there is not more in a hurry, explained their reluctance this way: don't want my brain anymore.
The brain carried around in such a scenario.
If the man did not realize the expectation of women (forgot to call, came home from work late, drank too much, not congratulated with the anniversary, admired another woman, etc.), a woman arranges a scandal, a long and exhausting, insulting, and cursing his last words.
The man who starts with excuses and apologies, will soon cease to feel guilty, because guilt is not consistent with the barrage of abuse that it unleashes. In the case of repetitions of "misconduct" (that always happens), a man already pre-experiences fear and even hatred of the woman, expecting that she will again do the removal of the brain. It makes family life impossible, and most importantly, has the opposite effect: makes men more and more to get their way, not taking into account women's expectations.
Most often (according to statistics) couples break up at the initiative of the women, but at first the man refuses to liabilities, in other words — begins to send the woman to the forest", even without performing the agreements that he was ready to perform. That's what causes the removal of the brain.
And although many women claim that some men know how to make the brain not worse, but among women there are those who can not stand the brain, the overall situation looks like this: women spetsializiruyutsya on the removal of the brain men.
I call the cause of this disaster, which will tell you how to significantly reduce it.
If you ask the women themselves how to make the brain they endured, the women would say something like: "we Need to do what I ask, it is not too difficult. But if at fault, accept the punishment and humbly ask for forgiveness".
In this formulation, we immediately see two major bug:
1. The woman believes that the man to fulfill her request quite easy, but the man is difficult.
2. The woman feels entitled to make the man a sentence, and the man is such a right it does not recognize.
When a woman calm and contented, it is easy to agree that what seems simple to one, may be complex for another, and one adult man cannot punish another, especially the woman by the man, but when she rips the roof of resentment and anger, all the correct settings and she flies just makes the brain.
Let's try to see why this is happening? What kind of permanent glitch?Why the woman believes that the man should be easy to call her when he's out fishing or on a trip, reply to her texts immediately, to remember the date fun, not stare at others? Why is the statement of the man that he is all too difficult, therefore he performs it not always calling it a wave of hatred and desire to wipe it off the face of the earth?
The reason is one. The woman lives with the illusion of its very high significance for men, and each time his behavior shows her back, she starts a tantrum, which turns off logic, and all the moral precepts. It turns into an insane creature that fiercely protects its own world, or rather their illusions, without which she cannot live. It's hard to remember about it = he gets things more important than she is.
To accept this fact a woman can not.
Its real importance for him is much more modest than it seems. It takes a man's life in a distinct, even important, place, and the more joy he gets from talking with her, the place is more important. But a man's life consists not only from it, in his system of priorities, it often is not in the first place, and sometimes not even on the second. To come to terms with the reality the woman can't, she only agreed in the first place, but better — for the first three. But in this case the man can not forget and do not call her the whole day if he didn't drown, so when the man suddenly disappears, a woman is torn between fear of his possible death and the collapse of his illusions (which is even worse than his death), and when it turns out that he is alive and well, just a drink with friends he was carried away, she takes it as a slap not just in the soul, and in the most sacred place of her soul, literally on the altar. The altar is the importance of their relationship to him.
In women, brain-numbing, almost always there is a deity. It's Love (towards her). When a man shows that belongs to her without a strong fear, even a little scornfully, he, no more — no less, trying to kill her deity, and she behaves like a fanatic obsessed with protecting the Shrine from desecration.
Porporela there is only one chance to restore the confidence: to recognize the severity of their blasphemy, to Express the daze from his low act, sincerely repent. The woman expects that the man will say: "I don't know how I could do that, you're the main for me, no excuse, and all your harsh words is nothing compared to how I could call myself!", instead, he claims that he did nothing wrong, and therefore the anger the woman even more.
It turns out that no, it's not a wild coincidence: he didn't just forget about her, but doesn't see anything wrong with that. Yes, he is worthy of the death penalty!
When the woman calms down, she often recovers its illusion (brain — virtuoso). No, the "trauma" remains, of course. That is, even restoring the illusion of its significance for man, woman with pain and horror remembers about each of his "crime," she says in her heart left a wound, but tries less than them to reopen. However, each new offense men revitalizes and old pain. Why pain her more and more out of the banks. The man hopes the woman will get used somehow to the fact that he sometimes forgets about her, but get used to it, it can not, because never it honestly does not accept or recognize, each time trying only to displace and forget.
Why many women never can get used to the fact that men they are not the meaning of life and love for her is not the main purpose of his life, can't accept that, it is easier for them to divorce and be single, waiting for that man, for which they will become a goddess, or expecting nothing? Where the position of "all or nothing"?
Why can't a woman treat love as is the male, highlighting the love of a certain place in life, but not turning it into a cult? In this case it would be understandable that a man sometimes to forget about it, because she forgot about him sometimes. But no, woman, brain-numbing, never forgets the man she thinks of him always, and therefore can not forgive him the fact that he treats her differently. For her, that is betrayal.
When men are looking for a way to stop the scandals and the removal of the brain, they often try to act incorrectly. They're trying to fight, hoping that the woman just will take their right to freedom, but it does not work, because the woman is literally death. It is easier to kill than be forced to accept.
Men don't understand that the reason for this behavior of women is that women are too absorbed with the relationship and will never agree to play in a man's life is of secondary importance.
1. To reduce a female preoccupation.
On this men are not always ready. And they can understand. Very often, a woman carries the of the attention from men not in work, sport and study, and other men. That is the total preoccupation and obsession with the love of a woman to reduce can not(!), just deprives this man of exclusivity. Of course, it's not like the man, he prefers to love the whole field of women were engaged in them alone, and it's a fair request.
We often hear how women complain that the man spends time with friends and her girlfriends in a bar does not let go. But communication in this case really is not very symmetrical. Conversations in the company of men is not confined to "the women", those is from 0 to 20% of conversations, depending on the company. But the topic of men in the conversations of friends — from 60 to 100%, and in a different format. In addition, to bar women traditionally go to meet people, and men — not always. That is, the gender difference has not yet been possible to believe such actions are completely symmetric, and this must be taken into account. The difference is not that fast.
The fury women, brain-numbing, due to the fact that they can't reduce the attention to love and to do something else, love is the main area of their lives, the main or sole source of nutrition self-assessment. They can only stop loving this man to look for another. Therefore, on any trifling occasion, and there is such furious scandal: a woman makes it clear that now the fate of their relationship. Man it seems a trifle, but for her it may be a collapse of the whole. And if a man will not return a woman confident in her love, she will look for another. Man are hints, of course, insulting. How would he make a demand: either obey me, or love another, that is, he denied the importance.
But if a woman can find to power your self-sphere, entirely not related to love (not associated also with the flirt, the beauty, talking about men, she will be able to reduce its preoccupation with relations at once(!) will begin to be loyal to the fact that it is not the only purpose of life for men and Yes, sometimes he may be busy with something else. As she is. But, in General, it is very important to him, and at some points it holds his attention entirely. Just not always the case. 2. To increase a man's loyalty.
So as to radically reduce the women's preoccupation with relationships is often difficult (although you should try), and women are still obsessed with this area more than men, experienced and wise (the same "real") man should consider this difference.
Man I have to figure out how love occupies in woman's life more than him. Perhaps if it as well as he focused on her career, politics, sport and cars, it would have been not quite a woman. And if a man appreciates a woman that is feminine, it is important to take into account the gap in the value row.
For example, it is best to come to terms with some of its taboo. Yeah, not to call even once during the day (if you had) is taboo. Forget about the wedding day too. Not to warn you that I work really late — in the same series. There are some things, the importance of which man is not able to feel (due to the lower absorption relationship), and just have to accept. Understand optional.
If, however, despite the fact that the major taboo is a man who learns and does not violate, the woman still deals with the removal of the brain for any reason, then its preoccupation with relations too large. If she doesn't find any useful sphere of classes, but love, she will continue to make him a brain, or to look for a replacement among men. It is therefore important to think in the direction of expanding its living space together. But it is not in terms of idle entertainment, and anything useful that is not associated with love, than a woman could get excited about and eventually feel the growth of self-esteem. Will increase her self-esteem, will not the removal of the brain — is the guarantor.
If you comply with the basic women's taboo for men does not work, literally disgusted by the fact that you need to call, to report, to talk about love, perhaps bias — on the part of men. It is possible that for men relationships are of too little importance (in General or with this woman), he needs more freedom than is possible in marriage. In this case, it is almost useless to expect that the woman will cease to bear the brain, not replacing him for another man. Most women feel much better alone than with a man who loves very little.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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