Fifteen million three hundred eight thousand seven hundred twenty eight
What man and woman do not know about each other?
Now offer the material at a deeper reading will help the reader to understand why he was/was next to partner and what to do with those feelings that now amanida on the beloved (or not quite beloved).
0. Men and women arise each other a sense of love when their invisible ancestors bring them together to resolve their outstanding issues.
The mystery of the number zero. I gave it this number because I know from experience how frustrating people to hear that their choice of a loved one not their. Only when the severance of relations people are willing to accept: "Yes, that's all I slipped ancestors is a bit of a torment. Just do not understand!"
I'll try to briefly explain why ancestors need this trick with your choice.
In the beginning of the relationship the man and the woman sweet and friendly with each other. Between them arises a kind of spiritual sympathy, spiritual stress. Both are United by a desire to show their best side.
For what? As they say in the old days, to show the goods. We all know that, but after the time when the package is opened, it turns out that the product is not so good and instead of the sympathy now — the rejection...
Where does love and why there are complaints? Claims are always based on unmet needs. Need is the need for something, need. About pyramid Maslow, I think you know. It begins with basic physical and ends with the need for self-realization.
Needs that the lovers cannot meet for each other is peeped experience of its parent families. As parents, for example, needed love, attention, respect, and their children (our lovers) need the same.
But the parents failed in their time with these tasks, looking at their elders, who may have died in the war or, for example, themselves suffered heavy losses (collectivization, emigration).
Information about the loss and unmet needs recorded in the DNA. The ancestors gave it to us through the blood and experience. From it not to escape. It can only recognize and satisfy those needs that meet the ancestors failed.
But for this, and given the beloved. But one who is in their DNA records of unmet needs similar to yours. Because after the honeymoon relationship, start times of unrest.
Metaphorically speaking, an invisible ancestors stand behind the lovers, and when he awoke, rubbing his hands, saying, "Oh, dear! Have powercoal and waking! Tapericha poser our time to do!"
Will there be enough wisdom from the lovers to meet the needs of their ancestors and start a happy life depends on how they will be able to solve the problem contained in the First Mystery:
1. Man and woman are looking for in a relationship attention. Any dissatisfaction in a relationship arises from the fact that one of the parties receives less attention from the partner.
It may seem that relationships fail because of the complex nature, bad habits, obscene acts of one or both partners, but if the partners give attention to each other, these reasons can lead to rupture.
But when one partner ceases to give attention to the other, then the battle begins, in which there is a place for all negative feelings.
Man and woman differently operate attention. The idea taken from George Subordina:
Actually there are two attention. Feminine form of attention when the person is fully listening to the interlocutor, i.e. without resistance perceives the image transmitted by the interlocutor, and the male form of attention — involvement in a process. In this case, the person fully involved and not distracted to anything else.
Man longs for the woman listened to him, his mouth open and agreeing with all his arguments. Took his information implicitly. In other words, was the female form of attention. About the way the man expects that the woman will be always ready to have sex with him.
And the woman listened to him, the man applies his reception-treatment care. It involves her (or those who are interested) in the process of formation of new experiences, so she (they) opened and started to listen.
The man in the relationship always sets the direction, ie offers to show interest in something new, where, in his opinion, can arise new impressions, and thus he will heed, for example:
— Honey, let's go to the movies!
I don't want to Antalya for a week to give up?!
— Today, Paul invited to dinner, you're seven you're ready?
But it depends on the woman, whether it will support the initiatives of men. After all, she may refuse to listen to his proposals:
— No, dear, these fighters bore me. I want to sit at home.
— What am I in the Turkey lost! There forever do not know how to their all-inclusive escape!
— Paul? These tedious intellectuals? Let say thank you that we do visit them!
Woman do not support long-term man in his involvements, it becomes a source of discomfort and gradually he stops to gain her attention.
The man who stopped to involve a woman into the sphere of their interests, not giving her new experiences, causes in it disappointment.
The woman believes that the weak man who couldn't convince her to listen to him, man finds a bitch that woman is not involved in his proposal.
However, if the attention and involvement existed in the relations of men and women at least some time, there is a bond that lives by itself and is the Second Secret.
2. Between a man and a woman there is a channel relationship, emotional connection. If your relationship breaks down, the connection remains and causes suffering in one hand and pumping energy for the second. While the connection exists, partners alternately change the direction of the movement of energy through this channel. Hence, then one, then the second feels better, then worse partner.
Any relationship is a process of energy exchange, and the feelings, emotions, behaviors – the result of it.
What relationships can be represented in the form of a pipe between a man and a woman, which is pumped feelings and emotions from one partner to another, greatly simplifies an explanation of why the breakup one of the partners is bad, and another, as they say, luck is in the hands goes.
Connection, pipe, anchor – call it what you want. It is not visible, but the feeling of discomfort because there is. How not see waves that come to your mobile phone, but the sound in the tube is reality.
Many of you often felt long, exhausting periods of illness, when I wanted at least a small support of a partner in the form of SMS, call or kind words.
But there is no sound, no stirring.
And when you hear the rumors that the partner is lucky?! Inside begin boiling resentment, revenge, desire to rant and rave!
What should I do?
A) Realize that your connection – an independent unit of the Universe. Just as the pipe of your vacuum cleaner. Pipe is and it is attached to you. The link pipe will always look for the moment to let you know about myself. To do this the pipe will cause negative feelings and energy outflow.
B) After you realized it, you can use the tube on purpose the last time. Take away through her partner, all that belongs to you and give him everything that belongs to him. Thus, the need for pipe disappears. She dissolved.
C) Thank the person for what he was in your life. Give him a place in the heart.
C) you remember the Secret of Zero? In this relationship you meet the needs of the ancestors? If not, then the partner will come the same.
The relationship did not come to rupture and suffering, you need to know about the Third Secret:
3. A man should divorce his mother before decides to marry a woman.
The man always has his first woman. It's his mother.
As a boy he attracted to her the first twelve years of life. Further, the relationship weakens, but it always breaks?
If the mother is self – sufficient, Mature person, it is easy to let the son into the world.
The mother sends the son into the father's hands. Now the man responsible for the man. So manliness passes from father to son.
But these days, not always so smooth.
Often the mother herself remains little Inner girl full of fears and distrust. And then she can not trust her son who whatsoever. Neither the father of the child, which maybe it is not there, nor even the girl who has his eye on the most precious thing in her life.
The mother does not give freedom to his son, decides everything for him. If she knew that his own hand turns him into a Loser!
But she doesn't want to know, she is the Mother and most of all loves his own flesh and blood!
Subconsciously she wants to be needed and wanted him at least, because he feels a complete Nonentity. And raising their own kind.
So what! she said. — While I'm alive it will be under my protection and fully secured.
So I want to ask: when you're gone, so is he to follow you to another world?
Mom, please, the country needs men! Let them go – let them be Men! Love them truly, not out of fear for his crying Inner child.
Mom to a man remained in adulthood in a state of your ward, or worse "psychological man", he will have to drink. Only there, in a drinking bout, he will be able to fulfill your parental message: "don't grow!"
Men don't get married until you get divorced with mom. All the same, mother as "the first legitimate" discourage you from his wife.
Once a man divorces his mother and to him, according to the Bible, and cleave to the wife, there will be what is hidden in the Fourth Secret:
4. A woman will always want to deprive a man of manhood that he has not got another.
Manliness is the ability to penetrate into the unknown, into a world where nothing is yet known and where it is necessary to create order. The universe has put this responsibility on men, forcing them to expand their masculinity, overcoming obstacles and revealing the mysteries of nature.
The man should be involved in the new, learn new and to fetch knowledge to their women. Wife or mother. (Let's assume that our man has divorced brings trophies to his wife).
So his growing manhood.
And what of his woman? It is the universe that wants to be explored. She then revealed to him, hides some of its secrets, in order to arouse his interest in new knowledge itself.
And when he wants to start to explore another universe, then it is caused first bewilderment, then resentment: "How? You never knew me! How can you study something else? I can't forgive you!"
Seeing its purpose – to learn something new, she offers him her "perfect decision": stay HOME AND HUNT, LEARN HERE!
So it deprives him of masculinity, because now he can't refuse her – it would be a scandal: "How? Do you want me to change? Now get out of here for good!"
He agrees to stay close and slowly becomes her son, and she to him – the mother.
Their sexual relationship come to naught, but it achieved the main thing – next is the one who will always learn and maintain its Universe.
What is the way out of this stalemate? He Fifth Secret:
5. The man is growing in status only to love his woman. These women had two: a mother and a wife. If a man does not grow in status, so love to him there.
What I want are all the people? Right, development, growth!
The growth in human daily life looks like a transition from one status to another.
For example: the student wants a thief student, a student – rich man, rich man to leave his name in history (a historical figure). She wants to be a wife, wife Shine with pride and happiness for themselves, their children and husband.
To grow in status, need resources, need support. Who provides this support? Someone who believes, someone who loves!
When a couple a long time can not move from their status in the higher grade, for example, for a long time, it is impossible to save up for the expansion of housing, this means that the man as the breadwinner and the hunter, not strong enough. He needs the support.
Support it can only take from the woman who by the power of his faith will show him that he is strong and cool.
Man not stronger than woman. A man becomes stronger when he allows you to feel a strong woman.
The woman is not weaker than men. She just understands that her man needs to feel like a hero when he travels across the expanses of her as yet unexplored universe.
The woman is ready to give a man energy in order to engage their attention to her person, to her interests. Woman gives energy, remember, through their attention and love to man.
Her love, he feels stronger and has the ability to grow in status in order to transfer this status to your lady (or mom).
As soon as the woman stops to give attention and love to man, his rise in status is stopped. There is much to reproach a man for the lack of growth and money, but it's the woman who gives him love.
What love find out from the Sixth Mystery:
6. Love is the desire to develop your partner. If your partner does not want development, he does not love you.
Often heard statements like: "Why do you have these books, trainings, seminars? Stay home, take care of children!"
He wants to say to these people saying this? He asks to give him Attention.
If he gets a lot, but still continues to keep a partner in a "Golden cage", it does not want growth and development to its close.
Why are all these people around?
Because they are both profitable to remain wounded children and play the role of their unsatisfied ancestors:
One victim, the other the executioner. One is a jerk, other – superiority.
One of two who are in the top positions, in a position of superiority, one more wounded, but hides the truth from himself. His strategy: to not feel your pain, you have to be steeper than the other. Towering over the victims, I do not notice that the very same miserable as they are.
This strategy leads him to the decision not to give your partner a chance to develop, or partner escapes from under his slavery.
Wake up, you will see that the path to freedom is open and gets away with it.
But growth does not stop, and then slowly, slowly, through its role of executioner, a tyrant, a partner starts independently and within the established "Golden cage" to pull out of her sacrifice to her wounded Inner children. The agonizing process and concluded it in the Seventh Mystery:
7. The man is the woman's every action, even negative drunkenness, idleness, beatings. Man is the mirror of women, which reflects all the things that she does not want to know.
Even in the most difficult relationships, in the so-called dysfunctional families, man and woman serve each other. They mirror what they do not want to admit.
Two are always together, until they have something to give each other. And perhaps they give each other pain, humiliation, suffering. But they do not diverge. And the reason is only one: the story of the ancestors.
The two repeat the history of their ancestors, showing his love not to the partner and the parent of: grandmother, grandfather, or an aborted child's mother.
I wrote a lot about this on my Blog, but now I just want to repeat an old idea with new words:
If you don't go with someone who you does not develop and causes suffering, you, thanks to his tyrant, realize little and recovered from those wounded Inner children that were created during the life of your ancestors.
Sorry, but... it's so Thank tyrant, because in his family the same story as your. Because you and a couple.
Two fighting for love, but you can win, just knowing Eighth Secret:
8. To put any man to beat a woman, he needs to win the battle in her eyes, a woman to defeat a man, she needs to lose him.