Relations need to learn




Male look at a woman h6>
Whatever the relations in the family, first experience with a woman for the future of men - this is his relationship with his mother. It is often said that a man chooses a woman like his mother, and the way it is. But this observation need to add one very important detail, which usually remains unnoticed.

The main similarity with the mother who is looking for a man in his women, concerns not the appearance, character and habits, and the feeling of security and peace, which he experienced while under the care of a parent.

The fact that the young man did not realize that a woman can be treated as something else. In his fiancee he seeks only an improved version of his mother, who would be his grooming, cherish and protect, and to which, among other things, you can indulge with a * ksualnym pleasures. All that being said, 33 pleasure. Between a mother and a woman for him is a sign of equality.

This situation can be smooth, for example, the presence of the sisters or personal example of parents who have been able to establish between a real adult relationship. Then the young man can get another basic experience and learn to see in a woman is not only the image of the mother. But such luck is not often.

The result of these initial conditions is that the relationship with a woman developing one common pattern that is easy to observe in the circle of his acquaintances. The most characteristic features - a subordination of man to his woman, dependent on it and the fear of its dissatisfaction. This is manifested soon after they met. A little later, when the relationship has entered a stable track, pops another typical problem - the loss or significant reduction from * ksualnogo interest from man to his girlfriend.

The man, not knowing other behaviors with the woman unconsciously builds relationships so as to impose on her maternal functions. To the woman could provide a sense of the man sought peace and security, it must be for him in a position of seniority. And the man of her own, and this pushes - it delegates the authority, it shifts the responsibility gives her the right to take decisions and put the assessment.

As a result, the man received exactly what wanted. Woman taking on the role of senior and takes over the leadership of a man further. For her, all this is happening just as unconsciously. At first, she liked the fact that a man obeys her desires, and it seems that the relations are developing well. But later, the woman begins to notice that the role of the mother, which she is now playing, deprives it of the possibility of being a woman and requires her considerable responsibility. A man, sooner or later realize that lost freedom, and instead of "love" to his girlfriend is now experiencing only fear and discontent.

After that relationship simply crumble. While both - man and woman - can not understand what happened at all. A relationship that began as a fairy tale, rotted and collapsed right in front. And since both do not realize what is happening to them, they feel that they simply chose the wrong man. Then they say goodbye and looking for a new pair, which, however, is repeated exactly the same story.

Most of our men until old age and continue to look for a woman loving mother. Behind this is the lack of independence of the internal man. Instead of having to learn to cope with their mental burdens with it comes the usual way and is looking for a woman, for which they could be hanged. This man can lead the bank or to command the army, but on his way home, he was still looking for peace in the arms of their mothers.

These men all my life hoping to meet a woman who agrees to be their mother and mistress at the same time. And really, they fall in love when they see a woman in her willingness to combine these roles. But such a relationship has no future - or they will soon crumble, or make man and woman completely miserable, tied to each other beings.

No woman put up with being a mother to her man. No man will never reconcile with the loss of their freedom in exchange for maternal comfort. They can only take refuge in self-deception, convincing themselves and each other that the relationship such and must be that true love is and there is that safety and comfort is more important than mutual happiness. And this self-delusion permeated most modern families.

By firing these matters to chance, the man inevitably dooms their relationship with women in a bitter failure. Continuing to look delicate understands the mother in every woman, man refuses to grow up and own deprives himself of the most valuable - freedom.

Women look at a man h6>
Every woman wants to be weak and at the same time seeks to subdue the man.

The formation of women's views on the relationship with the opposite sex takes place differently than men. Woman in less adopts the model of his relationship with his father - much more it is subject to the worldview of women around her.

If the mother has learned to treat her husband with all due respect, and found happiness in a peaceful acceptance of men's will, and her daughter in their future relations will be wise enough not to sit down to the man in the neck. But this is a rare exception, which, perhaps, one or two per thousand. In most cases, one can observe a completely different situation when the mother and others close to the girl, the woman followed the slave installation "man created for the woman" and her child vaccinated.

For some strange reason, it was led to believe that a man should take care of the woman. It was like that in the abstract - every man for every woman. And added to this the fact that his wife and mother, he has to take care especially hard. This principle is not even discussed - it has long been imprinted into the genetic code of our society. man woman should - that's the foundation of women's view of the relationship with the opposite sex

In the course are all means. Women are very comfortable to play yourself out of the weaker sex, allowing more powerful men to take care of all problems. But at the same time, every woman wants a strong man fulfilled her wish and follow its decisions, and the responsibility for all the consequences took over.

Women bring their men so that they obediently performed their desires, and enthusiastically share with each other the tricks of manipulation. And then, coming to a psychologist, they also complain about the man's disobedience, and that men (- goats) do not realize that women want, and that they somehow have to explain everything. Women's pride in this plane is truly boundless.

Women want men to own and out - his will, his body, his desires and his soul. Own personally and for life, until death do us part. This utilitarian approach to the man is not advertised, but not hiding, since it has long become a general rule and no longer hurts the eyes of its absurdity.

Leaf through women's magazines, watch television shows - all the same. It is believed that a woman has the right to benefit from one of the men had his beautiful eyes. Not even for a * CS, that it would be a drop of more than fair and just - because the man has to be a knight and a knight should be a woman.

On this basis, and there is education of girls. And if the family she finds refute universal social madness, she is left with no choice but to obey him. And my first boyfriend, she imposes a long list of what he needs it for one the right to be somewhere nearby.

I must say that a man enters into a relationship with its own set of ideas about what a woman should be it, but a big problem for men is still in search of maternal traits. In addition, the company originally prepared men for the ministry of women, encouraging them pseudo-chivalrous traits. So, young women get men into their own hands in the half-baked state - can only reheat.

Not realizing the absurdity of the situation, the girl blindly and without any ulterior motive adopts the view of the man as the performer of his desires. Therefore, when it comes time to first love, she was stuck in a deep rut female common misconceptions - it is waiting for its fans ministry and worship.

In practice, it looks simple. Not necessarily all comes down to the commonplace wish-fulfillment. Women are thinner - they seek to remake a man under him so that he himself then knew what and when to do that already without any further guidance to the man himself to do what a woman wants. And that training is made under the banner of love - « If you like, change for me ».

And when a careless man does not want to give in to training, women are offended, arrange hysterics complain mothers put pressure on pity and used indiscriminately all available levers of pressure and manipulation. This, too, without any ulterior motive, because they genuinely believe that and should act because the naughty man - it's just an anomaly that should be corrected.

This is how it turns out that most young couples woman soon begins to boss. Man looking for a woman a mother and gives himself the power in her hands, and the woman with pleasure and enthusiasm takes on education and leadership in the implementation of the man of his dreams of a happy family life.

Where this results in mutual madness, it is not necessary to tell - just look around. If among your friends there are couples in which the man really (rather than nominal) takes the role of older and does not hang on a woman his infantilism, and she, in turn, does not try to run ahead of the engine, you're in luck - learn from them.

Cooperation in the development of
Relations co h6>
Go back to the beginning of the story. Relationship - one of the most important areas of human life, but few people think about the fact that relations need to learn It is believed that the training on this issue occurs by itself in communication with their peers and the people around them a living example. But the result of such a self-worthless.

Well, if the first failure in relationships with the opposite sex enough to realize their mistakes and adjust their patterns of behavior, but this does not happen - usually men and women up to the age and go in a circle. Rather than understand themselves, they are just looking for another person who will suit them, and in the relations with whom will not have to make any effort.

Everyone wants a fairy tale itself came to their house. The women in their boudoirs dream of a knight-savior, not realizing that the normal peasant their whims and demands will rise rapidly in the throat. A man satisfied with jousting tournaments and are looking for a woman who will appreciate their peasant daring, will, love and comfort.

The women do not know and do not understand men - but they want the man they knew , and believe that this will be enough for normal relations. Women do not care what a man wants, or whether they are satisfied with simple answers, like that man needs only * ks. And just as women do not realize that they themselves have such a good that the man of their dreams they dedicated their lives. This is where selfishness highest standard.

Both men are no better - they just do not understand women, and therefore easily maintained on all manipulations, just to satisfy the whims and superficial women snatch a piece of warmth, which was previously only a mother could give.

Without thinking about what is actually run by a woman and what she really wants, a man, in all its simplicity, it should be stated desire. He does not understand that she is a woman, and his hate for his submission. By allowing a manipulation (like love), a man makes a woman unhappy and starts a relationship to a standstill. It acts like a child who needs to behave to mom loved him.

And as long as relations are got for fun, for sharing entertainment, nothing will change. Entertainment should be entertaining - there is no place for conscious efforts. Meanwhile, relations require a large inner workings - happiness for free just does not happen.

Men need to learn to see purposefully in a woman a woman - a creature of the opposite sex, a reflection of his own soul, but not the next incarnation of the mother image

A woman can be to man's best friend, helper and inspiration, if allowed to unfold in this direction. Just something and the business - you need to stop hanging their snot on a woman, and to find a sufficient hardness to defend his men's freedom and independence.

But so want to relax and have fun, right? - That's just through this and you need to cross. In adult relationships pleasures much more, just need to give up their children's habits.

A woman, in turn, need to learn to temper their pride and see the artist in a man is not his desires, not the defense from all troubles and tribulations, and independent man, next to which it will be interesting to live your life.

If you give a man freedom and respect for their right to self-determination, he is out of gratitude and respect for reciprocal fulfill all the desires of a woman Men, in general, not bastards - treat them like human beings and they will respond in kind. But the man did not have a woman, and the woman is no weaker than men to qualify for any benefits. We are different, but we are.

If a woman is wise enough to help her man to grow up, it will get those relationships, which never dreamed. But to do that she herself must learn to be that woman - not the mother, not the mistress of the Marine, and the women - the companion of man. Otherwise, you can wait a lifetime for her prince.

Next to us is always the type of person that we are worthy of And if for some reason it seems that we are worth more, then probably we finally lies, those yourself. Relationships can be a breeding ground for nurturing each other or turn into a compost pit where both soul just wither and decompose. You choose.

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