... Refer to the psychologists, girls and women often complain: "In our time in Russia completely extinct normal men and therefore meet with more or less the right person is almost impossible ... What can not imagine! How to find a boyfriend or husband? Where to find them? Give the right advice ... ».
Let's try to deal with this issue.
Let's start with the fact that once ruled in favor of Russian women.
The general situation in our contemporary Russia is that in a society truly experience a catastrophic shortage of men that same category, which is for girls and women, the most lovingly attractive.
What is meant by the definition of "a man most lovingly-attractive category"? According to the opinion polls produced by me - it is men aged 23-45 years with higher education (at least a good secondary vocational), seeking to make a career on their own or have a more or less solid financial "reserve" with no bad habits (they can smoke and drinking, but should not be drunken alcoholics or drug addicts) who have at least relatively good physical health, no criminal record, not married (or divorced).
Now, let's order.
Life is like a big sieve annual "decimates" the ranks of all members of society through a whole lot of very different "social filter" from youthful thrust everything "extreme" and ending with tests on the attitude to alcohol, drugs, the presence of the very strong-willed and mental qualities that allow to get an education, a successful career, to build up those loving relationship that may lead to the establishment of a family and having children.
The most "asocial" (social or least), that is, those who are much worse passes these "social filter", now it is a man. Since the biological essence of man since his youth is the desire to be a leader, a kind of "dominant male", is the most attractive of all others "female", are available next to him other "males" are for him above all "irritants." Therefore, the behavior of those men and boys who want to "stand out", like women and create a loving relationship with them, and always will be a conflict, opposition, and therefore more extreme ... mortally dangerous for them.
We list only the most basic "social filter".
Social filter №1. "Filter-risk youth».
As is known, the number of births of boys and girls about the same. Moreover, at the time of the birth of boys even more than the number of young members of the fairer sex of the same year of birth. But by the turn of the age 16-18 years, after which begins the period of active love-courtship behavior, the situation varies considerably ...
Because of their masculine nature, and it is difficult to "interrupt" the biological desire to "check yourself for strength" to prove their quality of "real men", because of the neglect of elementary precautions, boys and young men are much more likely than their peers, drowning in rivers and lakes, break the rocks, roofs and balconies, broken motorcycles, mopeds and cars, all lost in the forest, freezing during winter hiking in the woods, undermined on homemade and combat explosive devices, slaughtered each other to death in teen fights die bitten by encephalitic mites fall under cars and trains. Their current hit, avalanches fall asleep, they die from the gasoline fumes in garages, falls through the ice, unable to bear the reproaches of parents or suffering the first unrequited love, commit suicide ...
So, at the age of 16-18 years boys become significantly less than girls. Further included "filter Education" and "Filter the army."
Social filter №2. "Filter education».
"Filter education" included at least twice: once when the boys decide whether to continue their studies after the ninth grade (lower secondary education), the second time when they finish the eleventh class (complete secondary education) and prepare to enter the college.
Both in the first and second case, the situation is generally similar. Those young people who are physically and psychologically, "ripe", those who start their sexual life earlier than their peers, those who (as they think) has "learned to understand life" and made clear that "learning - is much worse you start to earn money and respect for women's right now, "are in the real" social trap ", a kind of" social deadlock ».
Those who seemed to be a clear leader in adolescence (or was among the entourage of teenage leaders), and refused to continue his studies (in universities, school, vocational schools, etc.) in order to go either on production or trade or in the sphere of crime, in the end turn out to be deceived themselves. Already by about 25-30 years they begin to envy their sharply once more "backward", but, in the end, "in fact" was more successful peers who have received higher education and better "staged" in life.
The result of the second operation "filter Education" visible "to the naked eye" and is particularly noticeable in two planes:
- Firstly, in the 10-11-graders, and then begins to universities clearly dominate the "most feminine". Moreover, in recent years, even for those departments that were traditionally considered exclusively "masculine»;
- Secondly, those young people who were more sexually active and seemed clear favorites of girls aged 14-20, by the age of 25-30 years (ie, to the time when men start data of most interest to women point of view of a family) almost completely lose their value for those ladies who are aiming to achieve for themselves (and their children) of high social status and material security.
If these men are not able to overcome the fourth "social filter" - "filter of social disadvantage," then they are completely gone into oblivion. And, more often than not only a love-marriage, but also physical ...
Social filter №3. "Filter army».
In any society, the weighty word says army. Now the army largely fall guys from the not very well-off social groups: those who did not receive a complete secondary education in the schools, the residents of impoverished rural areas, the guys from the working towns and city suburbs, those who could not find their place in life who was unable to attend vocational school or university who have the choice between "zone" and barracks chose for himself all the same barracks.
Of those who become officers, about half are children of staff officers who make up the core of a professional army. Second half - the ones who managed to get a higher education, but the level of social opportunities for his family proved not high enough to get rid of the young man from the service.
Further, the situation looks like this: hazing, conflicts on national soil, careless handling of weapons during the exercise, the actual fighting (etc., etc.) annually take the lives of hundreds of thousands of young soldiers and officers. That, of course, immediately reflected on the overall situation in the area of love-marriage relationship.
In addition, a certain percentage of those men that come back from the army alive, or are broken mentally or physically crippled (became disabled, acquired chronic diseases). Naturally, it becomes much more difficult to compete with the more successful men who are happy to avoid military service and at this time engaged in their careers.
Do not forget about those who are still serving in the army staff officers. In the XXI century the popularity of suitors officers is significantly lower than the grooms managers, officials, grooms and grooms-bandits. Alas ...
Given the fact that through the crucible of the army every year thousands of men are very attractive love-marriage age from 18 to 27 years, all of this also causes significant damage to Russia's love-marriage demographics.
Social filter №4. "Filter social adaptation».
That large group of men, at the time refused to continue training in the 10-11 first-graders, and then in a vocational school and university, who were unable to "acclimate to civilian life" after the work or service in the army, whose idiosyncrasies interfere with the normal building relationships with colleagues at work (especially with the leadership!), who failed to show the necessary patience in today's society, and fell for the criminal desire to obtain all material wealth is not in the process of hard work, but "quickly and directly" by the age of 23-27 years begins acutely feel their "inferiority" compared with those for its better educated and more relaxed peers, who once tacitly accepted an unspoken leader teenage "district of Kings."
The realization that they are no longer the clear leaders in the fight for female attention, starts to irritate those men who once exchanged a need to learn from an early pseudo "adult" way of life at the age of 14-18 years and were in the youth ... "social trap ".
At the age of 23-27 years in front of them there is a simple choice of two options:
Option "A". To humble their pride, admit their mistakes in life, after all, to get an education (or at least a higher vocational) and learning how to obey other, more successful men.
Option "B". Choose the path of self-destruction, that is, become an alcoholic, a drug addict, criminal, get in "at risk" for diseases such as tuberculosis, syphilis, AIDS, hepatitis, etc. etc.
Personal experience shows that most of the once "too early matured men" chooses for himself is the second way ...
So begins another powerful social "thinning" that continues throughout life. Owing to its huge number of physically healthy men have 30-35 years to completely degrade social: go to prison, becomes an inveterate drunkard, or die from drinking bouts, overdoses and diseases, turning into homeless people, etc. etc.
The logical consequence is that, according to the author's own calculations, out of every 100 men:
- Before the age of 30 survive no more than 80-85 people;
- Have received more or less a decent education, "finds its place in the life of" not more than 40 (!).
But the educated and successfully working girls and women to age 30 years of about 60 100 (!). And here is the "imposition" of about 40 successful men on 70 successful women and creates an enormous "imbalances" in the field of love-family demographics, and in the sphere of love ... Me. This is - the major cause of female loneliness!
But we move on.
Social filter №5. "Filter success».
By the age limit of 30-35 years, the number of those men who may be of interest to girls and women is no longer fully cover the needs of the fair sex in the "strong arm".
At the same time remaining a "normal" part of the men, like an iceberg, caught in the waters of the warm Gulf Stream continues thinner and melt from two sides ...
On the one hand, continues its work negative "social adaptation of the filter", which leads to the fact that not stand the love, or family crisis, reduction of work, failure of business projects (etc., etc.), some of the already quite adult males continues to ruin oneself by drink, goes to prison, social falls becomes disabled on health, etc.
On the other hand, is actively involved another social filter - "Filter success».
"Filter success" - this is a test "the strength" of men success. Careful observation of the lives of successful officials, businessmen, bankers, politicians (and even bandits) shows:
At least half of successful men
it becomes a victim of its own success ...!
Some men become victims of "expensive accidents": they are divided into high-speed cars, scooters and snowmobiles drown on boats and yachts, are killed when diving at the time windsurfing, broken when skydiving, hang-gliding, ski slopes, the victims of the tragic accidents on hunting, fishing, etc. etc.
In addition, some of the ruin oneself by drink, many successful men, so suddenly appeared arrogant, get involved in serious conflicts and killed by assassinations, some acquire so many mistresses, which then lose so painstakingly acquired property in divorce cases, left with nothing, and gradually They sink to the social "bottom".
In the end, ruining themselves, Russian men condemned to a lot of problems, and Russian women ...
Following discussion of the results of these only the most basic "social filter", you can see the following:
Given the fact that women (as expectant mothers who are unable to survive in splendid isolation) longer feel their close relationship (and not the opposition as men) with the surrounding society, they tend not to oppose themselves to the society (as men do) but almost meekly adapt to it, take it "rules of the game", "dissolve" in it.
As a result of its particular "social obedience", ready meekly submit to imposed their rules of "social game", a woman is much easier than men to overcome various "social filter" are educated, with a minimum of conflict make a career and become successful entrepreneurs "mediocre ".
In our time, by the age of 27-35 years, the percentage of "successful" women on average is much higher than the percentage of "successful" men, and the sheer number of more or less decent "male version" did not cover the needs of medium and successful girls and women. Later seen a simple pattern: the percentage of successful women is increasing, and increases (100% of women in this age group), the percentage of successful men - drastically reduced ... In the end, successful women are simply not enough successful men.
Thus, we can say right:
Those modern girls and women who have a good education, trying to make their own career and in society take at least secondary (or high) position, virtually doomed to difficulties and problems in the search for a more or less worthy representatives of "men of the tribe." And it really is true!
The situation is further exacerbated by the presence of at least two additional adverse factors:
Unfavorable factors №1
"The tradition of cross brachevaniya».
By virtue of the love-marriage traditions, which are accepted in our society, most men tend to start a family with the girls or women who are younger than them for a few years. (In actual practice, the difference in the age of an average of from 3 to 10 years. Marriages where partners shared the 15-20 years old, also are not any special rarity). Accordingly, girls and women also are looking primarily to the partners the older age classes.
If we impose this tradition to what we have just said above, namely, the socio-demographic pattern, according to which each subsequent "borderline" age limit (20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years), the number of Men of this age becomes much less than the number of their female peers, we get the following:
Girl, let's say, 20 years, trying to find a boyfriend or a husband in the age group 25-30 years, not only faced with the fact that most of the men of this age are already married, but the fact that for these same men with their women compete and the woman as the younger and older age groups (aged 16 to 40 years old). But the most important thing is that the sheer number of men in this age ... from the outset can not cover the needs of women, even as their own age!
Young woman 25-30 years to find an unmarried man and quite successful in the age of 35-40 years have more than easy. Chances of women 30-35 years to meet an unmarried man and successful at the age of 35-45 years are minimal ...
Unfavorable factors №2
"Leaders are combined with bad leaders».
Male leaders in the then-leaders are men, because they tend to undivided domination.