The first guy in the village: who is an alpha male and how this stereotype spoils the life of men

We are surrounded by many myths and erroneous oppositions - left hemisphere versus right, instincts versus upbringing and so on. As cultural and social values change, many of them lose their power. But there is one tenacious stereotype that has cost many even their lives: the division of men into “alpha” and “beta”. I'm sure you've heard of this classification.

Who are “alpha” and “beta” and how do these stereotypes affect people? Let’s find out why the myth of a real man prevents you from finding happiness.



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According to zoology, alpha males are those who are at the top of the social hierarchy. Possessing power and physical superiority, they subjugate all relatives of their species, have full access to resources and enjoy greater favor with females. Doesn’t that sound like a real man?

Beta-type males have the exact opposite situation: they are weaker physically, behave calmly, have a low social status and are not particularly popular with the female sex. They are “good guys” with whom you can only be friends. Obviously, all men prefer to be in the alpha category.





Famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky argues that in human psychology such a distinction does not exist. “An alpha male in people’s minds is some abstract man with a three-day bristles, an expensive watch, a luxury car that all women want,” he said.

“Alpha is a man who is used to everything and always dominates. You know, strong, aggressive, always ready to fight back. A person who in any situation seeks to take a leading position does not tolerate objections and does not understand the word “compromise”. This is a role model, a certain ideal to which one supposedly should strive. And that's sad. Because it is indulging in a not-so-healthy notion of masculinity and courage.”





This distinction, based on animal observation, paints a black-and-white picture of manhood in humans. Not only does this stereotype greatly simplify the variety of expressions of masculinity and grossly underestimate the capabilities of men, but it also ignores the essence of those things that actually attract women.

Imposed from childhood, the concept of “male” mislead young people, not allow them to build healthy and healthy. happy relationship with women and achieve success in life. Raised in this spirit, young men strive to become leaders, some “dominant males”, to win the love of all the surrounding “females”.



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The actions of young men who want to stand out from the crowd, test themselves for strength, be macho, prove the qualities of a “real man” always end in deplorable ways. Sad statistics say that boys and boys aged 14-18 are much more likely than their peers to drown in rivers, die in road accidents and street fights, poison themselves with alcohol and drugs, commit suicide.

In an effort to grow up faster and try life, they neglect common sense and basic precautions.





From the false stereotypes of masculinity follows a huge number of restrictions and prohibitions. “A man should be strong”, “a man does not need sympathy”, “should not show weakness”, “should not cry”, “should not provide for a family”, “should not love ballet or dancing”, “should be successful by the age of 30”, “must love football, hockey, basketball” and other phrases form a wrong self-esteem and life orientation in men.

Such attitudes actually overwhelm men, while inflating ambition and overstating the bar of demands. According to the stereotype, the guy by the end of school should know exactly what he will do in life. And after the institute, he must strive to get a high position, regardless of whether he likes the field of activity or not.



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In the list of priorities in the first place in alpha males is their social status. They need women to meet their physiological and psychological needs. Respect and acceptance of women as equals will be considered a weakness. Understanding women should not be part of their plans.

Is it possible to call an alliance with such a man attractive? Definitely not. Especially if a woman is one of those who need tenderness, care and feelings. In such a relationship, a woman is subordinate, her opinion is not taken into account, because the right to make decisions is ascribed only to the alpha man.



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When there are temporary difficulties – love and family crises, job cuts, failure of a business project, it is difficult for alphas to admit defeat, humble their pride, take a breath, shake off and move on. Fearing not to meet the standard, daring “male” breaks down: they literally go crazy, there are complexes, then depression and even alcoholism. In less tragic cases, they leave their family and go in search of their place in life.

The crisis of 2008 was very indicative for Mikhail Labkovsky. The picture was something like this: women who fell under the reduction (whose ambitions to the size of a skyscraper were not inflated) quickly found new ones. earner. And former directors, doctors and male lawyers have been lying on the couch for months, unable even to look at the section of job ads.”





DepositPhotos Unfortunately, the traditional notions of How to Become a Real ManThey only produce weak men. The vast majority of boys whose parents tried to make them “real men” through oppression and humiliation have either become eternal victims or cannot solve problems without fists. They try to assert themselves, taking out aggression on the weaker ones - wives and children.

Such men are psychologically always at war with imaginary enemies: bad weather, mercantile women, gay people, representatives of other nations and others.



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A strong person does not need to demonstrate how cool he is, because he does not depend on the opinion of others. Such a man will do what he likes - he will become a general director or a ballet dancer. He is responsible for his actions, not blaming others for failures. He is confident and not afraid of mistakes. If he is rejected, his self-esteem will not be shaken.

He does not need to prove his masculinity through expensive cars, many women, brute force and aggression. He builds harmony. partnership He seeks happiness together, not authority.



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Many adult men, trying to conform to the image of the alpha male, like to associate themselves with wolves. Not surprisingly, there are no species more similar in behavior than wolves and humans. Interestingly, zoologists have refuted the usual notions of alpha males, watching packs of wolves in Yellowstone National Park.





DepositPhotos Doug Smith, a biologist and leader of the Wolves Study Project, said: Men can learn from wolves some things: show less aggression and more calm confidence, be an example to others, faithfully care for and protect family, respect women and share responsibilities. That is what it means to be a wolf.”

How long do you think the alpha male stereotype has left in the modern world? Have you seen any examples of this behavior? Editors "Site" Very interesting your opinion, be sure to leave your comment and share the article with friends.