Men look at woman
Whatever the relationship in the family, first experience with a woman to the future of man is his relationship with his mother. They often say that a man chooses a woman like his mother, and the way it is. But this observation need to add one very important detail that is usually ignored.
The main similarity with the mother that the man is looking in his women, concerns not the appearance, character and habits, and that sense of security and peace, which he experienced while under the mother's custody.
The fact that the young man did not even realize that woman can be taken as something else.
In their choice, he seeks only an improved version of his mother, who would be his grooming, cherish and protect, and which, in addition, you can indulge in sexual pleasures. All that being said, 33 pleasure. Between mother and woman for it is a sign of equality.
This situation can be smooth, for example, the presence of sisters or personal example of parents who were able to establish between a real adult relationship. Then the young man can get another basic experience and learn to see in a woman not just a mother's way. But such luck is not often.
The result of such initial conditions is the fact that a woman develop according to one General template that is easy to observe in the circle of his acquaintances. The most characteristic features is the subordination of men to his woman, the dependency and fear of its dissatisfaction.
This is manifested soon after they met. A little later, when the relationship has entered a stable track, POPs another characteristic problem — the loss or significant weakening of sexual interest on the part of men to his girlfriend.Man, not knowing other behaviors with a woman unconsciously builds relationships so as to impose on her maternal functions.
In order that the woman could provide a man sought a sense of peace and security, it must be for him in positions of seniority. And man her to this and he is pushing her delegated powers, it shifts the responsibility, gives her the right to make decisions and give grades.In the end, the man gets exactly what wanted. The woman takes on the role of senior and takes in his hands the future leadership of the man.
For her it is the same unconsciously. At first she liked that man obeys her desires, and it seems that relations are developing in the best way.
But later, the woman begins to notice that the role of mother, which she now plays, precludes her being a woman and demands from her considerable responsibility. And the man sooner or later realizes that lost freedom and instead of "love" to his girlfriend is now experiencing only fear and discontent.After that relationship just crumble.
Though both a man and a woman — can't understand what happened. The relationship that started like a fairy tale, rotted and collapsed right before our eyes. And since both don't realize what is happening with them, I think they just chose the wrong person. Then they say goodbye and looking for a new pair, which, however, is repeated exactly the same story.Most of our men until old age and continue to look for in a woman loving mother.Behind it is the lack of internal independence of men.
Instead learn how to cope with their emotional burdens, it goes the usual way and looking for a woman that can hang. Thus man can lead a Bank or command an army, but back home, he still seeks peace in the arms of their mothers.
Such men all my life hoping to meet a woman who agrees to be for them both mother and lover. And truly they fall in love when I see in a woman is her willingness to combine these roles. But such a relationship has no future — or they soon crumble, or do a man and a woman absolutely miserable, tied to each other, creatures.No woman will accept to be a mother to his men.
No man will never accept the loss of their freedom in exchange for maternal comfort. They can only take refuge in self-deception, convincing themselves and each other that the relationship must be what true love is and have that security and mutual comfort is more important than happiness. And this self-deception is impregnated with the most modern families.Letting these issues to chance, man inevitably dooms their relationship with women in bitter failure.
Continuing to look delicate understanding mother in every woman, man refuses to grow up himself and deprives himself of the most valuable — freedom.
Women look at the man
Every woman wants to be weak and at the same time seeks to subdue the man.
The formation of women's views on relationships with the opposite sex differently than men. Woman to a lesser extent, adopts the model of his relationship with the father much more it is subject to the worldview of the surrounding women.
If the mother has learned to treat her husband with respect and found happiness in the calm acceptance of men's will, and her daughter in their future relationship will be wise enough not to take her man's neck. But this is a rare exception, which, perhaps, one or two per thousand. In most cases, it is possible to observe a completely different situation when the mother and other near girl female slave followed the installation "the Man created for the woman" and instill in her child.For some strange reason it was led to believe that a man should take care of the woman. It's so abstract — most any man about any woman.
And to this is added the fact that about the wife and mother he needs to take care especially hard. This principle is not even discussed — it has long been imprinted in the genetic code of our society. The man a woman needs — that's the Foundation of women's views on relationships with the opposite sex.
In the course are all means. Women very comfortable to play the weaker sex, allowing more strong men to take care of all problems. But at the same time, every woman wants a strong man sang HER desire and followed ITS decisions, and the responsibility for all the consequences of taking on.Women raise their men so that they obediently performed their desire, enthusiasm and share with each other the tricks of manipulation
. And then, coming to a psychologist, they also complain of men's disobedience and that the men (brutes) don't guess yourself about what women want, and that they somehow all have to explain. Women's pride in this plane is truly limitless.Women want to own the man from before
— his will, his body, his desires and his soul. Possess individually and for life, till death do them part. This utilitarian approach to man is not advertised, but not hidden, because he had turned into a General norm and no longer hurts the eyes by its absurdity.
Flip through women's magazines, view TV show — everywhere one and the same. It is believed that a woman has the right to benefit from men have for some your beautiful eyes. Not even for sex, which was a little more fair, but just because a man should be a knight, a knight needs to serve a woman.
On this basis, and there is the education of girls. And if the family she finds refutation universal social madness, she is not left with no choice but to obey him. And my first boyfriend she presents a long list of what she needs for one right to be somewhere.I must say that a man enters into a relationship with its own set of ideas about what a woman he should, but a big problem for men still in search of maternal traits
. In addition, the society prepares men for Ministry to women, encouraging them to pseudo-knightly traits. So, young women get men into their hands in a semi-state — remains only warm.
Not realizing the absurdity of the situation, the girl blindly and without any ulterior motive adopts look at the man as the performer of his desires. So when the time comes to first loves, she had already deeply stuck in the rut of General womens misconceptions she's in from her fans Ministry and worship.
In practice, it looks simple. Not necessarily, it all comes down to the banal fulfillment of desires. Women are thinner — they want to remake the man under him so that then he himself knew what and when to do that already without any further guidance the man himself doing what women want. And this training is done under the banner of love "If you love me, change for me."
And when a careless man does not want to succumb to training, women are offended, make a fuss, complain mothers put pressure on pity and indiscriminate use all available leverage and manipulation. And this, too, without any doubts, because they sincerely believe that and should act because naughty man is just some kind of anomaly that needs to be corrected.So it turns out that most young couples woman soon begins to boss.
Man looking in the woman's mother and gives himself the power in its hands, and the woman with pleasure and enthusiasm takes over the upbringing and guidance of man in the realization of their fantasies of a happy family life.
Where results such mutual madness, do not need to tell — just look around. But if among your friends there are couples in which the man really (not nominally) took the role of senior and hangs on a woman his infantilism, and she, in turn, not trying to run ahead of the engine, you're in luck — learn from them.
Cooperation in the development ofRelationship as a collaboration
Back to the beginning of the narrative. The relationship is one of the most important areas of human life
, but few think about the fact that relations need to learn. It is believed that training in this issue occurs by itself in communication with peers and a living example of the people around them. But the result of this self-worthless.
Well, if the first failure in relationships with the opposite sex enough to realize their mistakes and adjust their behaviors, but this does not happen usually, men and women until old age and go in a circle. Instead, to understand themselves, they are just looking for another person who will suit them, relations which will not need to make any effort.
Everyone wants the fairy tale itself came to their house. Women in their boudoirs dream of a knight-deliverer, not realizing that their normal peasant whims and demands of the rapidly stand in the throat. And the men suit jousting tournaments and are looking for a woman who will appreciate their peasant prowess, will, love and comfort.
Women do not know and do not understand men but they want a man they understand and believe that this will be enough for normal relations. Women are not interested in what a man wants, or they are satisfied with simple answers, like that man needs only sex. And similarly, women don't think about the fact that they have such a good man to their dreams dedicated my life. This is where selfishness highest standard.
And men are no better — they just don't know anything about women, and therefore are easily maintained on all manipulations, just to satisfy superficial whims of women and to snatch a piece of warmth, which before could only give a mother.
Not thinking about what really leads the woman and what she really wants, a man, in all its simplicity, follows her expressed wishes. He doesn't understand that the woman and hate for his submission. Allowing themselves to be manipulated (as if out of love), a man makes a woman unhappy and bringing the relationship to a standstill.
He acts like a child who needs to behave, so mom loved him.
And until then, until the relationship starts for pleasure, for shared entertainment, nothing will change. Entertainment should entertain — there's no place for conscious effort. Meanwhile, relations require a large inner work — happiness for free just does not happen.Men need to learn purposefully to see in the woman a woman
— a creature of the opposite sex, a reflection of his own soul, and not just another incarnation of the maternal image.
A woman might be for man's best friend, helper and inspiration, if you allow it to unfold in this direction. Just something and you need to stop hanging their snot on the woman to find a sufficient hardness to defend his men's freedom and independence.
But so want to relax and have fun, right? — That's just through this and you need to step over. In adult relationships pleasures much more, just need to give up their children's habits.
And the woman, in turn, need to learn to temper his pride and see a man not the performer of his desires, not a protector against all ills and tribulations, and independent person near whom it will be interesting to live your life.
If you give a man freedom and respect his right to self-determination, he out of gratitude and respect for the response will fulfill all the desires of women. Men, in General, not bastards treat them like human beings, and they will respond in kind. But the man owes nothing to the woman, and the woman is no weaker than men to qualify for some privileges. We are different but we are equal.If a woman is wise enough to help your man to grow up, she gets the relationships of which never dreamed.
But for this she needs to learn to be a woman — not mother, not the mistress of the sea, and a female companion of the man. Otherwise, a lifetime to wait for her Prince.
PSYCHOSOMATICS — the-Shoulder: a contradiction between what we NEED and what we really WANTThe worst enemy of all relationships
A number of us is always that the person we are worthy.
And if you somehow think that we deserve more, then maybe we finally lies, those myself. Relationships can be a breeding ground for each other or turn into a compost pit where both soul just wither and decompose. You choose. published