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Fear of a new relationship
How to let go of the fear of new relationship and learn to trust a man again?
Does the return of confidence of how much he has disappointed You and the amount of pieces that Your heart was broken?
Where can I get a guarantee that he will not do it again?
I'm sure You, many women want to know the answers to these very similar issues. Do you want to know where they came from in this article?
From my mailbox, and personal counseling with women who have asked to help solve the relationship problems. Including on assistance with the return of lost trust:
"How to learn to trust the man after what he did to me?".
"My ex-boyfriend cheated with my best friend, how can I trust men after this?".
"I met a man via the Internet, he LIED to me and tried to get you to send him money. After that I'll be able to trust guys?".
"I thought my boyfriend wants the same happy future together, I do. But instead of proposing, he broke up with me. I have devoted the best years and got nothing in return."
I'm sure like a lot of claims.
How to learn to trust men after this?
Many women with hearts that need the healing of wounds, stuck somewhere between the assumption that "all men are bastards" and the increasingly fading hope of meeting the Prince on his life path.
If You ever felt anything like that, keep reading this article and learn how just 3 easy steps will teach You to trust a man again, no matter how badly wounded heart in the past.
Step 1.Stop confusing the credibility of the man with hopes of meeting "Prince charming"
Let's start with a simple question.What is "trust"?
Well? There is an answer? It fits in 10 words or less? Or does Your heart start to beat desperately, the brain is just confused from the snatches of conversation that come to mind? I asked this question to many women and almost all of them it was difficult to tell, what means for them "confidence" to the man.
Why? Because (this might sound a little cruel), from a male perspective most women cannot learn to "trust" men because they simply do not know the meaning of this word.
Let's look at the definition of the word from the dictionary of terms: to Trust (verb): to rely on something or someone, or to be confident in somebody or something.
I like a man I can say that for me to "trust" someone means to be sure that he or she will...
– to do what it says;
– to act in accordance with his nature;
– my cover in a conflict or matters of the heart;
– try as little as possible to get me in trouble and to respect my decisions.
"Trust" does not mean (and cannot mean) that the man needs to meet Your expectations, which he (actually!) he doesn't even know. Yes, there is a different experience, a different situation from the past that are the reason that You quite difficult to learn again to trust men. Especially if You were in a relationship, which ended with the fact of betrayal of Your husband or loved one. But think about what he can not represent all men in General.
And here's the first truth: many women think that they "will never be able to trust the man," can not find worthy of her trust because you are looking for "Prince charming" that I dreamed of little girls. But who said that man can only trust, if he could become the Prince of Your childhood fantasies?
Do you really expect that a man will treat You like a Goddess, don't look at other women, to shower You with rain of gifts will be the perfect lover, will tell You their deepest secrets, to kill the dragons for You to want what You want he wanted, even if he really doesn't want that? (Last words made my brain start to melt, despite the fact that I constantly hear about these ordinary women's desires). If it is, You will be hard to find and trust the man that fits the above.
Step 2. To forgive myself for letting a man ruin Your trust
The reason why a lot of women have trust issues towards men is not that "all men are goats" or something like that... Cause in shame. Is Your face is not flushed? My blushing. Why? Because shame is a terrible emotion and a very strong word.
Let's look at why women are afraid to trust the man. It has its own reasons:
That is whyYou need to forgive yourself right now.
If you do not know how to learn to trust a man again, it is likely that You are angry with yourself allowed to hurt myself. And the only way to forgive yourself is to understand why You trusted in the past and recognize it.
Will give You a hint: assuming that I believed because I wanted to be loved. And to be loved means to give another person the power to hurt You.
If a man hurt You in the past, do not think that you can no longer trust any human being male. It only means that in that particular case, You took a risk and that risk could not reward You with eternal love, about which You dreamed.
Listen to me: to love a man – not meant to be "stupid", no matter how much he would betray You or to hurt You. There's no shame that You succumbed to ordinary human desires.
Returning to the question "How to learn to trust the man?".
You need to forgive yourself! Go to the bathroom, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself, "I know you're embarrassed and hurt, you're angry for what happened because of this man, but you did everything with the best intentions and I forgive you." Then You will really feel better. And might want to cry. Weep. Lots of it.
Step 3.Eliminate the "words of victims" from your dictionary What "the word of the victim"?
"Words of victims" – those are the words that take your vitality and make you feel humiliated, insulted, offended.
For example, let's talk on the "favorite" for all the subject:
Deception. I can't even count how many times in my life have I heard such a phrase: "How can I learn to trust a man again after what he did to me?".
And here's a cruel but honest truth:
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED
Let's summarize what needs to be done to solve the problem called "How to learn to trust a man again":
– to understand what trust
– to forgive myself for having allowed myself to deceive (to offend)
– stop thinking of yourself as a victim
Thank you for Your attention and patience. Hope I'm not wasting a lot of time writing this material and now You, at least, three step closer to understanding how to trust a man. Because it is one of the most important conditions is really a harmonious relationship. Looking forward to the comments under this text! published
Author: Yaroslav Samoilov P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: yaroslav-samoylov.com/psihologija-otnoshenij/3-prostyh-shaga-kotorye-nauchat-vas-doveryat-muzhchinam.html
Does the return of confidence of how much he has disappointed You and the amount of pieces that Your heart was broken?
Where can I get a guarantee that he will not do it again?
I'm sure You, many women want to know the answers to these very similar issues. Do you want to know where they came from in this article?
From my mailbox, and personal counseling with women who have asked to help solve the relationship problems. Including on assistance with the return of lost trust:
"How to learn to trust the man after what he did to me?".
"My ex-boyfriend cheated with my best friend, how can I trust men after this?".
"I met a man via the Internet, he LIED to me and tried to get you to send him money. After that I'll be able to trust guys?".
"I thought my boyfriend wants the same happy future together, I do. But instead of proposing, he broke up with me. I have devoted the best years and got nothing in return."
I'm sure like a lot of claims.
How to learn to trust men after this?
Many women with hearts that need the healing of wounds, stuck somewhere between the assumption that "all men are bastards" and the increasingly fading hope of meeting the Prince on his life path.
If You ever felt anything like that, keep reading this article and learn how just 3 easy steps will teach You to trust a man again, no matter how badly wounded heart in the past.
Step 1.Stop confusing the credibility of the man with hopes of meeting "Prince charming"
Let's start with a simple question.What is "trust"?
Well? There is an answer? It fits in 10 words or less? Or does Your heart start to beat desperately, the brain is just confused from the snatches of conversation that come to mind? I asked this question to many women and almost all of them it was difficult to tell, what means for them "confidence" to the man.
Why? Because (this might sound a little cruel), from a male perspective most women cannot learn to "trust" men because they simply do not know the meaning of this word.
Let's look at the definition of the word from the dictionary of terms: to Trust (verb): to rely on something or someone, or to be confident in somebody or something.
I like a man I can say that for me to "trust" someone means to be sure that he or she will...
– to do what it says;
– to act in accordance with his nature;
– my cover in a conflict or matters of the heart;
– try as little as possible to get me in trouble and to respect my decisions.
"Trust" does not mean (and cannot mean) that the man needs to meet Your expectations, which he (actually!) he doesn't even know. Yes, there is a different experience, a different situation from the past that are the reason that You quite difficult to learn again to trust men. Especially if You were in a relationship, which ended with the fact of betrayal of Your husband or loved one. But think about what he can not represent all men in General.
And here's the first truth: many women think that they "will never be able to trust the man," can not find worthy of her trust because you are looking for "Prince charming" that I dreamed of little girls. But who said that man can only trust, if he could become the Prince of Your childhood fantasies?
Do you really expect that a man will treat You like a Goddess, don't look at other women, to shower You with rain of gifts will be the perfect lover, will tell You their deepest secrets, to kill the dragons for You to want what You want he wanted, even if he really doesn't want that? (Last words made my brain start to melt, despite the fact that I constantly hear about these ordinary women's desires). If it is, You will be hard to find and trust the man that fits the above.
Step 2. To forgive myself for letting a man ruin Your trust
The reason why a lot of women have trust issues towards men is not that "all men are goats" or something like that... Cause in shame. Is Your face is not flushed? My blushing. Why? Because shame is a terrible emotion and a very strong word.
Let's look at why women are afraid to trust the man. It has its own reasons:
- Fear that if you give a man the power to hurt You (and to love someone just means to give it), You will be hurt and devastated again. Your subconscious says, "Last time I trusted a man, he hurt me. If I'm not going to trust men, they will no longer be able to hurt me!".
- The shame that comes from knowing that You are being foolish in trusting the guy who destroyed Your trust (or just couldn't meet Your expectations). That's why You frantically begin to look for information in a search engine, to check the credit history, criminal background and compatibility of zodiac signs for each man who goes a little like.
That is whyYou need to forgive yourself right now.
If you do not know how to learn to trust a man again, it is likely that You are angry with yourself allowed to hurt myself. And the only way to forgive yourself is to understand why You trusted in the past and recognize it.
Will give You a hint: assuming that I believed because I wanted to be loved. And to be loved means to give another person the power to hurt You.
If a man hurt You in the past, do not think that you can no longer trust any human being male. It only means that in that particular case, You took a risk and that risk could not reward You with eternal love, about which You dreamed.
Listen to me: to love a man – not meant to be "stupid", no matter how much he would betray You or to hurt You. There's no shame that You succumbed to ordinary human desires.
Returning to the question "How to learn to trust the man?".
You need to forgive yourself! Go to the bathroom, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself, "I know you're embarrassed and hurt, you're angry for what happened because of this man, but you did everything with the best intentions and I forgive you." Then You will really feel better. And might want to cry. Weep. Lots of it.
Step 3.Eliminate the "words of victims" from your dictionary What "the word of the victim"?
"Words of victims" – those are the words that take your vitality and make you feel humiliated, insulted, offended.
For example, let's talk on the "favorite" for all the subject:
Deception. I can't even count how many times in my life have I heard such a phrase: "How can I learn to trust a man again after what he did to me?".
And here's a cruel but honest truth:
- No one can make You a victim except You. No one can do
- You happy but You.
- No one can make You feel anything except You.
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED
Let's summarize what needs to be done to solve the problem called "How to learn to trust a man again":
– to understand what trust
– to forgive myself for having allowed myself to deceive (to offend)
– stop thinking of yourself as a victim
Thank you for Your attention and patience. Hope I'm not wasting a lot of time writing this material and now You, at least, three step closer to understanding how to trust a man. Because it is one of the most important conditions is really a harmonious relationship. Looking forward to the comments under this text! published
Author: Yaroslav Samoilov P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: yaroslav-samoylov.com/psihologija-otnoshenij/3-prostyh-shaga-kotorye-nauchat-vas-doveryat-muzhchinam.html