Don't confuse tourism with immigration
If the partners were casting, that is, liked each other by their appearance, then their relationship can move on to the next stage of development of relations, ritual and entertainment. As You know from the title, at this stage in the relationship between the partners mainly there are two surface forms of communication: ritual and entertainment.
The main objective of the rituals and entertainment — a diagnostic partner, the results of which the decision whether to develop a relationship with this partner, and therefore go to a deeper form of communication. Ritual entertainment stage is passion, feelings, romance. This step is sung by the poets.
It was about this stage often shoot various melodramas in which passions run high. Romeo and Juliet, almost all of the teen Comedy is about ritual and entertainment stage. And even the movie "Pretty woman" belongs to the same category. If you notice, all these movies and stories end the type of "they live happily ever after". Because it is not that interesting and romantic, as at this stage.
What characterizes ritual entertainment stage:Adherence to a particular role. The man who enters into a ritual, takes a role in it and its behavior must fit the role. For example, men's roles requires him to pay compliments, give flowers, give favors. That does not mean that he really wants to give flowers, to give favors. Now he does it because it's "expected" that does not mean that it will continue to do so in the later stages of the relationship.
Between the partners there are mainly superficial forms of communication. That is, ritual and entertainment. Sexual relations usually are also there, but they are mostly built on passion than intimacy. Here it should be noted that when communication partners is limited to superficial forms of communication, they actually do not know each other. It is impossible to know a person while on these forms of communication. I think each person in life there was a time when he spoke at length with someone at the level of ritual and entertainment were about him very good opinion. But being in a situation of joint activity, You began to see a man with a completely different side.
Ritual entertainment stage continues mutual diagnostics partners that are more focused on the internal content of each other. At this stage we subconsciously look at a person's character, emotion, confidence, etc. Look how comfortable we are with a partner, as we are interested in the continuation and deepening of relations.
It may well be that during this phase, one of the partners decides that he does not want to continue the relationship. While the other partner still wants to continue the relationship. There is a danger that the relationship will begin to develop a game scenario type of the game "Dinamo", when one of the partners is interested in the relationship more than the other.
During ritual entertainment stage partners should gradually converge and come to a deeper form of communication. If in a relationship there are only ritual and entertainment (for example, only periodic visits), it is an indicator that the relationship is not developing. Stuck relations at ritual entertainment stage usually leads to the fact that the relationship is gradually eroding. They have no dynamics and development.
The length of the relationship does not matter. You can meet five and eight years or more. It is absolutely not the fact that it will grow into a deeper relationship. On the contrary. Convergence should occur according to the principle "Step by Step", i.e. each partner takes steps to create intimacy. One of the common mistakes of this stage, when one partner made only a small step, and another made ten.
Trap funeral-entertainment-building phase, otnoshenie confuse tourism and immigration. While our relations are at ritual entertainment stage, we simply cannot know partner. We see a role in his performance. May be the image that we created in my head (especially common in the web novels). But the person we don't know. To find it we should be United by something more than rituals and entertainment. At least activity. In this trap many fall.
Most people enter into marriage, in fact, not knowing the partner, focusing on the impressions received on ritual and entertainment stage. When partners start to live together, their relations are entering a phase of mutual adjustment of expectations, they ask the question: "Who are you?". It is this mechanism explains the fact that the first wave of divorces occurs within the first year after marriage. There is a pretty simple way to not get this trap. Live together. Do not have children, not to acquire joint property. After a few months it will become clear where you are going Your relationship. Ritual entertainment stage is tourism. Family's immigration. I think it is clear what was going on.
Don't take a performance partner role for the "face value". Try to separate role behavior prescribed by ritual, from the real behavior of the partner.
Do not tighten ritual and entertainment stage. Relations should develop. Despite the romance of this stage, if it continues long, then the relationship ceases to develop. The result is a gradual cooling of relations. If you'll notice, often of a long meeting over the creation of a family, and parting.
Loss of interest to continue a relationship one of the partners is a normal phenomenon. This does not mean that with another partner, something is wrong. He just may not like it. Does not get in the way of a potential partner. You need to understand that it is very bad that it became clear at an early stage. We can't please everyone. Therefore, if the partner does not show interest to continue the relationship, it is not necessary to persuade him. Otherwise you risk to get into a long and painful "love" Saga.
When one partner is more interested in the relationship than the other, the relationship will evolve according to the mechanisms of the game "Dynamo". It hurts for a long time (on average a year and a half), and still end in a breakup. Know the game "Dynamo" and never get involved in it.
Ritual entertainment stage can begin more extensive forms obscenity partner can begin to test the willingness of another to play the psychological game. For example, a young person begins to command how to dress and how to makeup. If a girl starts to adapt to it, it is possible that this is the beginning of the game. Further claims or demands will only increase. There are people who have a relationship on ritual and entertainment stage are not. And this is for a number of reasons that you need to understand.
Don't know how and don't know how to behave in ritual and entertainment stage.The reasons for this mass. This includes asexuality upbringing when his mother and father lived as neighbors and the man hadn't seen models of sex-role behavior. Problems with self esteem, when people perceive themselves as "unworthy" and "defective" goods, and fears that he will not take. And emotional restraint, when inwardly one is interested in the relationship, but externally shows a very different picture. There are many reasons why a person is behaving properly in this period and the partner begins to lose interest in such relationships.
One of the partners is interested in the relationship more than the other.This position leads to some obsessions. Such people in the period of parting partner says this phrase: "you're here a lot".
The fear of intimacy.This scenic point, which leads to the fact that the member, who is afraid of a relationship, does not seek to make them deeper. On the contrary, he tries to find a partner shortcomings to convince yourself that he is with him on the way and it's not "his" people. The problem with these people is that "their" people do not exist in nature. They all will be found in the partners shortcomings to explain its rejection of close relations.
The delay of ritual and entertainment stage.I'm slightly above already wrote about the fact that delaying this may lead to a gradual cooling of relations.
The gods of ritual and entertainment to anapaest people who not only easily undergo ritual entertainment stage, moreover, they prefer their relationship be limited only to this stage. They know best how to behave at this stage to get a partner. They are professionals at this stage. Such men are called womanizers. Charismatic, with a sense of humor. Know how to impress. It is important for them to feel its necessity, and fear of intimacy. So for them there is no problem to find a partner, but because they are afraid of intimate relationships, it all ends on ritual and entertainment stage.
A bright woman, always surrounded by crowds of fans with his behavior at first give rise to certain expectations of men, which are not always confirmed in the future.
The gods and Goddesses, ritual and entertainment stage are in dire need of confirmation of their significance and relevance. The relationship itself is secondary. They never love partner, they like the attitude of the partner. And when they win (for the womanizer a sign of victory is sex), they immediately lose interest in the partner, and find a new target. This category of people sooner or later finds a partner who does to them what they did with others, that is "dynamite". And in this case you could loop on this partner. Although in reality they do not want a relationship with him. They just want to take a fortress.
Summary:Ritual and entertainment stage is the initial surface form of communication, the purpose of which is mutual diagnosis partners and the answer to the question if I want to continue the relationship. While relations are at this stage, You can't find a partner, because it is in a certain way.
Do not ignore the rules of passage of this stage.
Do not tighten the relationship on ritual and entertainment stage. Relations should develop.published
Author: Boris Litvak
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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