Satya Das is very witty and categorically says in the YouTube clips on the theme of family relationships and, in particular, encourages couples not to have sex before the wedding and to meet her at least a year. Reporter Zinaida Kuznetsova met with Satya, to ask how, in his opinion, a long period of abstinence becomes the guarantee of a happy family life, why would a girl be with a bunch of fans and why all the women's money should remain with women.
One of the themes of your lectures — "the Laws of happy family life". What are the basic principles?The first is the understanding that man and woman are completely different. They have different everything: goals, objectives, body, intellect.
All women want to realize themselves as women, but they have forgotten how to do it. And the inability to women's happiness causes them to look elsewhere — to make a career and stuff. The second principle is that relationships must be built gradually.In one of your lectures you talk about the fact that women feel the need to meet with the man a year before the wedding and not to have sex with him all this time. Why this time?
The term approximate. Intimacy can be fairly confidential process. And modern people have made him a pop: he chewed and thrown away.
Women have a need in a normal relationship, but she allows herself to chew and spit out, she said: well, that, and how, this is the modern world.
But modern women are no different from women thousands of years ago — exactly the same needs: to be happily married. A modern approach, it is male — it has nothing to do with the family, it's just promiscuous sex.
The relationship should be built gradually: a long and beautiful courtship scenario of women. And it should not for the fact that someone used, and that the people have grown in this relationship: to have women grow self-esteem, and man's responsibility.
And the man is happy only if he is responsible. An irresponsible man is not a man, this degradant. And cannot be happy woman with low self-esteem — is also a degradant. Our society is basically the Union of women with low self esteem and irresponsible men: two degradantov gives birth to the children concerned.It happens that relationships start with friendship. But it happens the other way: if a man and a woman love each other at first sight, a passion they have — as they can under such conditions, to wait a year?
What about the family? It is an illusion. Woman think that if they have sex, so they build family relationships, but men in General never consider
. It's just sex. Sometimes, of course, is that: "Well, if we eat together and we have sex maybe this marriage?". Maybe...That is, if a woman sees a man and realizes that he wants sex with him happy family they will not?If she sees him and wants sex, it means she has low self-esteem that it has worn. She's already signed up for the men's format.
It seems that another form of building family relationships is not all should begin with sex. And then, suddenly, something happens. And nothing usually comes out. So if you see a man and you think that it is just my man — so this man is definitely not yours.That is, in your opinion, the correct family relationships with mutual passion to begin I can't, right?
If they with the passion begins with passion and ends. Sex lasts a maximum of 8 months. Relationships should be built in goodness: a woman realizes that this is the man, when he proved it to her by his actions. Everything else is prostitution: woman selling sex, and the man buys it, and all this sprinkled powder.And how do you propose to break this wrong model of relationship building?You should begin not with the search man, and with in order to raise their self-esteem
: a woman should be friends who love her, colleagues who love and respect her must be fans who may not even risking to take care of it, and the suitors who still have a chance, it needs to compliment the parents and assume that she's the best thing they've done in this life. Then she will have high self esteem and it will not communicate those men who want just sex because all men want sex — will be the ones that want to have sex, but it is not the most important, perhaps, they where-that in other place to solve these issues
.You say that women should have several suitors to choose from and not get attached to anyone of them at the initial stage. And that is not even possible to hide from them, that they are not the only one with whom you go on dates...
Of course, no need to announce it to the man with the threshold, he cares, and you tell him this: "I'm not the only one!". But if he asks: "do you Care for someone else?" it will reply: "of Course! I'm a normal woman. What makes you think that I do not need anyone else and you have picked me up?". If she has a guilt complex because of something she ate or paid for a movie, then it simply has low self esteem.And if a woman understands exactly what this man relationship she doesn't want — in this case to accept his advances — isn't that cheating?
This is called low self esteem. Because a woman believes that sex is necessary to pay the cost of movie tickets. And so she still got to go to the movies with Boyfriends, and with those for whom it doesn't want to marry, to raise self-esteem, dismissing them.How long is the initial stage of courtship when the suitors are many, and what happens next?
About 4 months people meet and look each other in neutral territory. This easy stage, as for shopping: you go poking around, trying on something, say, "Well, there's nothing, it's all rubbish". But after some time in the trash, you find something. At some point, of all the Boyfriends you want to communicate with only one — it is important only that he was similar.
And then another six months or less lasts communion together — without sex and living together before the engagement, when you set a wedding date — about six months later. And only in marriage can sexual relations.When a man gets sex, he is not inclined to take responsibility for it. The psyche of man is arranged so: if I get sex from women, so I already deserve it.
And then why do something else beyond that? And the woman just tend to imagine something coming, and to roll out male advance — she thinks: if I give him the closeness, it will automatically get security and gratitude (the needs of women in relationships). Do not get it.What are the basic needs of women and men in a relationship?Women have three basic needs in a relationship is the intimacy, security and gratitude
. The proximity means that the woman feels he can open up to her man as possible. This, incidentally, is the only reason for sex.
And the man needs the family to be fit, to be free and to be yourself, to be able to be a man.
Many believe that a free man is irresponsible, but that primitive idea. Freedom means that a woman is a man presses and anything with him, do not squeeze — it only tells about their desires, and he understands that all decisions, which he accepted — he accepted freely, willingly. If a man behaves properly, the woman thanked him. If he behaves badly, she tells him about it, and not suffer in silence.
Michael Litvak: YOUR man will find you!Nasim Taleb: the Great war is inevitable You have the statement that women's money remain with her and not spent on General needs, but this does not apply to a partnership, right?
In the case of a partnership to take all their money together and to spend his salary — it means robbing partner.
But a partnership, I believe, is a low genre relations.
There are, of course, even lower. Women's money is her money if the woman independently permitted a man to take care of her, play a completely dependent woman. In this case, man assumes full responsibility for the Finance.
In this case, if it is work, it should not interfere with her family life. But it does not work when both husband and wife work for full employment: in this case, it is generally not a family.published
Interviewed Zinaida Kuznetsova