You were at the Banquet and hope to meet some new cool people, which would be useful for your career. You take a glass, move to a corner, look around the room but not see anyone familiar. After some time, you decide after all to introduce yourself to the neighbor and take turns telling each other about their work. Then one of you apologizes and goes to the toilet, and as a result, you find yourself back in the corner.
A familiar situation? Completely to prevent such awkward moments is impossible, but there are a few techniques that will allow you to mitigate or reduce them. John levy, founder of Influencers conference, learned to overcome his natural shyness — he became head of the eclectic network of professionals, which includes Nobel laureates, winners of the Grammy and Olympic Champions. In his apartment he meets in the manner of the TED conferences, where interesting people can meet and communicate in the most random way.
Levi shares his advice on how best to build relationships with people and avoid awkward moments.1. It is important that you have something to talk about besides work
If you want to avoid a painful and uneasy silence, for example, in a crowded Elevator on the way to the conference — keep in mind something interesting, anything to talk about.
Most people don't know how interesting to talk to, says levy. That's why he asks his guests for the most part refrain from discussion of their professional training. When you meet some new person, do not start again this nonsensical retelling of your resume, and especially not discuss the weather. Start a real conversation which could take place you have with each other.
If this idea makes you nervous, prepare in advance the topic about which you can talk, advises levy. "I always have at the ready a story about something I recently did, or thought about the book I'm reading now," he says.2. Familiarity with a person should be a unique memory
Is that you can't remember what the man in front of you, although I know that you have several times talked. Surely this has happened to you, and you felt terrible guilt. One well-known musician, a regular guest levy, said he was struck by the memory of John. But Levi explains that he has no special talents in this area: he deliberately creates situations which will help him to remember names and faces. "Our memory is mainly visual, and it turns on whenever there is something new, catchy,' he says. — If I really want to establish contact with the person I'm trying to provoke some kind of memorable moment, which also could become a kind of tradition" — a SIP of tequila with a new acquaintance or to send a group selfie your mutual friend.3. Tell us a coherent and convincing story
do Not be distracted from the main topic, when you say — in such moments people turn away and cease to listen to you. When you tell a story, you must have a clear thesis and a memorable conclusion or a joke at the end. This is the best way to make people remember them.4. Do not impose yourself
"One of my fundamental mistakes in the beginning was that I thought that people like what I like," says levy. He took on the role of "big brother" and pushed their friends, introverts behave the same as he — as an extrovert. For example, he forced a timid person to retell an interesting story before a large audience. And it was for the unhappy man the terrible discomfort.
This all applies to Dating. Ask people's permission before presenting them to each other. Remember: to get people to behave a certain way — none of your business.5. Don't be afraid to look silly
, This does not mean that you have to act like an idiot; but if you want to develop relationships with new people, you need to show courage. Levy says: "I think it's very successful are only those people who are really ready to look embarrassing or shameful. As Richard Branson". Surely you will have moments when you won't look so witty and impressive a man as you would like. And then you just have to understand just what you have pierced, and next time try to make better.6. Meetings should be short
If you meet someone at a work thing at lunch, for a coffee or drink together, do not tighten meet, do not wait for the moment when you run out of topics of conversation. If you just meet someone, the meeting should not go more than 45 minutes, says levy. And ideally half an hour. "It is better that the conversation ended when you still have something to talk about, and there is a feeling that you should meet and chat more times than when you feel you've exhausted all topics," says levy.7. Learn how to end a conversation
"I used to be terribly awkward to end the conversation — says levy with a laugh. — These are the last moments of the conversation, determine what you people will remember, so you should learn to finish the meeting with dignity" — not to be rude or too harsh.
If it's a phone conversation, wait for a pause and then let me know what you are waiting for some other thing, or that you liked the conversation. Tell the person that it was nice to talk to and that you will contact him or her for some questions.
On personal meetings of Levi always tries to once again meet eyes with the person you said goodbye, not to have the feeling that he runs away. published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki