Any failed relationship is undoubtedly hurt, but when you save yourself from the wrong relationship, you actually benefit. All my life I tried to save the relationship whatever they may be. It seemed to me that the responsibility for the relationship in a pair lies on the girl. But time has come to admit that some relationships are not worth saving, and some people just need to learn to let go. Because this man who is weary of the relationship with you, causing you a far greater evil... disturbing to see someone who really will appreciate your tenderness and care.
And that's exactly what I would like today to share with you 10 of the most common types of incorrect relations, which prefer to refrain people with psychological power:1. A relationship in which interested only one of the partners
It is wrong when in a relationship is interested only one of the partners.
The feeling of being lost can lead to finding someone who is willing to take full responsibility for your life, just to reduce the tension. But before you do this, imagine for a moment you put the collar on your beloved pet and give the leash to someone else, but where it leads you, you don't have a clue. Isn't it?
In a relationship of confusion and powerlessness has no place. If one partner feels helpless, these relations in fact already exist. The whole point of relationship is freedom.
Yes, right relationships are built on a solid Foundation of free will and concerted efforts. The most important journey in life for each of us — in which we meet his man.And these relations bring us to personal development and happiness. You will be able to get a lot more from a relationship, if you build them together instead of trying all the time to control them. In reality this cycle. The strength of the relationship depends on the strengths of each partner, and those strengths in turn depend on the quality of the relationship.2. The relationship that supposedly add you
Our culture is based on fantasy and romantic love, suggests that once you meet "your Only" or "my Only", and then get rid of suffering and anguish, and in return will receive a state of eternal oneness and bliss.
It is easiest to assume that this task is exclusively your partner to make you happy. And the truth is that the right attitude can certainly bring you happiness, but to fill the empty feeling in your heart is not the task of your partner. It directly only your problem, and until you take full responsibility for that void, the pain, the longing inside of you, your relationship will inevitably present problems.
Only you are able to make yourself happy and nobody else can not do it. And you have to create your own happiness before you can share it with someone else.3. A relationship based on dependence
When all your actions and thoughts revolve around another person, you neglect your own interests, and this leads to addiction. When you create a precedent that someone other than you responsible for what you feel all the time (and Vice versa), then both of you will only develop this relationship. In the end, neither of you will be able to plan anything without the approval of the partner. All your actions, even those seemingly ordinary, like TV, must be specified. When one of you gets something, all personal needs go by the wayside because the main task of each of you make each other happy.
The problem is that the development of this relationship breeds resentment. I'm sure if my favorite person out of yourself over a bad day, would be angry and would need my attention, I would have appropriately reacted to this. But if I 24 hours a day thinking about his emotional state, I would, eventually, start to feel hostility towards his feelings and desires.
Jim Rohn, the famous American entrepreneur and author, once said, "the greatest gift you could give to someone is your own perfection as a person. I said, "If you're nice to me — I will be attentive to you. Now I say: "I'll be careful of myself, for you, if you care about yourself for me."4. Relationships based on idealistic expectations
You love and appreciate people, not because they are perfect, they are often quite far from ideal. "Ideal" is a deadly illusion, by whom none of us never will. We are all perfectly imperfect just as much as it should be.
In fact, the less you expect from the person you care about, the happier will be your relationship. No one in your life will not function as you expect it. They are you won't be able to love, to surrender and so to understand you, as you do yourself.
The biggest disappointment in life and in relationships is failed expectations. So not much to be disappointed, don't need much to be fascinated.
Outcome: any relationship, in fact, will never be perfect, but if you are willing to work on them, you will get all dreamed about.5. A relationship where constantly heard the wrongs of the past
When your partner continues to blame you for past mistakes, it is a sign of the wrong attitude. If both partners do so, it turns into a hopeless fight that will show who is more upset over the years.
When you reproach a man for his past mistakes, to confirm his present righteousness, it leads to a desperate situation. You are only deceiving reality. Remembering the mistakes of the past, you are manipulating the other person.
If this situation continues for a long period of time, both partners eventually spend all of your energy to prove his innocence, instead of solving today's problem.
When you choose the person with whom you wish to build a relationship, you accept it with previous errors. If you don't put up with his mistakes, in the end, the relationship with this person will not work. If something is troubling you from the past of your partner, you should learn how to accept this is normal. The past stays in the past.6. Relationships that are built on daily lie
Trust is the basis of right relationship, and when trust is undermined, it takes time to bring it back. Often, people say, "I didn't say anything to him, but didn't lie. This statement is contradicting itself. If you cover a lie, then it's just a matter of time before she gets out, and trust will be lost.
Remember, the opponent who speaks the truth in person, is always better than a friend or loved one who is constantly lying to you. Is to pay less attention to the words people and more on their actions. Their actions will show you their true faces.
If you caught someone in a lie, then it's time to come clean. Some people will often lie to you, thereby forcing you to repeat this lie again and again until she actually do not turn into the truth. Do not participate in this absurdity. Don't let their lies become your reality. Don't be afraid to stand up for the truth – for your truth.Neither of which forgiveness and reconciliation is not out of the question until you or will not tell the truth.7. A relationship in which there is not enough forgiveness and willingness to restore confidence
Mistakenly believing that trust can't be returned. When trust is lost, and this happens at some point a long-term relationship, it is important to understand that it can be returned, but provided that both partners are willing to work hard.
Actually, when you think that a solid Foundation for your relationship crumbles, you are given the opportunity not just to fix but also to get rid of the dynamics of the relationship that led you to this. All this will certainly cause you pain, and you may even want to leave, especially if you think that the trust return is impossible. But if you are aware that the level of confidence throughout life, falls, rises, most likely you will be able to find the force that allows you to stick together, rely on each other and grow together.8. A relationship in which passive aggression takes over communication
Passive-aggressive behavior takes many forms, but generally described as a nonverbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior. Instead of trying to openly Express their feelings, some people make subtle, annoying gestures towards you. And you'd rather do everything possible to make sure that you pay attention than talk about what upsets you.
This is clearly a sign of the wrong attitude. It says that you can't openly communicate with each other. No reason to be passive-aggressive if you feel that you can talk about things that bother you. People never feel the need to hide behind passive aggression if he is confident that will not condemn him for his thoughts.
Right, you always openly share your feelings and desires. Make it clear that the other person is not responsible for your ideas and views, but nevertheless you are happy to feel their support. If your partner cares about you, then you will get this support or to compromise.9. Relationship-driven emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is when someone uses emotional pressure on you, if you don't do what you want. The point is that you change your behavior, against your will, as a result of emotional blackmail. This is an extremely wrong behavior.
The solution, as in the case of passive aggression is communication. There should be no pressure, just open communication.It is critical for both partners in the relationship understand that negative thoughts and feelings are always can safely discuss with each other. Otherwise people will suppress their thoughts and feelings, which will lead to distrust and manipulation. Maybe there really is something that bothers you about your friends or loved one. Why won't you talk? You fear that you will upset someone? Of course, maybe upset, maybe not. There are, of course, another option. Just put up with it until then, until one day you will explode and not spit it out.
Remember, it is quite normal to be offended that you care about, and normally when you do not like something in this man. We're all imperfect creatures. Understand at last that you can trust the person and accept any choice, are two different things. Someone can be loyal to you, but it might be something to you not to make. On the other hand, partners are able to communicate and to criticize each other without judgment or emotional blackmail, and ultimately will benefit.10. Relations, who are always sidelined
Not giving enough time to the relationship, you make a huge mistake that leads to incorrect relations. Most often this error we are aware of only when all begins to crumble.
The truth is that the relationship as a living being, they also need to take the time to be able to continue their existence and prosperity. It is easy to let things in life take its course, especially when you have a husband, children, work. But the relationship can be compared to potted flower, if not watered a few times, it will wither. And you won't find time — they will begin to deteriorate. Try each week to find the time to spend it only with those you care about, and time every day to give them at least a few minutes of dialogue.
Nothing is appreciated, as your sincere attention – your full presence. To be with someone, listen carefully and do not watch every minute on the clock — that means to each of us so important. This is really the most valuable thing you can do for another person. published
Now it's Your turn... Bordugova Elena P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©