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When I did not send my son 1000 euros on the appointed day, my daughter-in-law called me, I did not expect such a turn.
I kept this story to myself for a long time, and now I don’t know who to ask for advice from. But you understand me: the problem is family, and the situation is ambiguous. In general, I tell you at my own risk. I guess I should start by saying that I am a single mother and I have only one son. His father and I divorced a long time ago. And he left like a sink, no help, no communication with his son. Before Andrew went to university, I made as much money as I could. My main salary was small, my higher education was incomplete, so the range of specialties was limited. Now I am 61 years old and my sister-in-law is kicking me out. But everything in order.
Pulling my son’s studies on a meager salary would be difficult. So as soon as he arrived, I started going to work. First to Poland and then to Italy. Earned in the working season was enough for several months. Then, when her son became an adult, she went to Italy and regularly sent money, sent parcels, came to the holidays.
I was almost 55 when my son called me and said, “Mom, I’m getting married!” There was no limit to my happiness, because our family was very small. And now there are grandchildren.
Unsplash Life on earnings Set a wedding date in six months. I had been living in Italy for 5 years. I managed to find a good housekeeper contract, so during this time I saved up a decent amount of money. I will never forget the elongated faces of my matchmakers when I handed my son and daughter-in-law the keys to their own apartment at the wedding. Two-bedroom with not the newest, but good repairs. I wanted to make such a pleasant surprise. I wouldn’t buy a house in Italy with that money.
I left again for work, after six months a call is waiting for a boy! The son was hard at the time, and his wife went on maternity leave. I realized he couldn't pull them out alone. And I didn't want my grandson to have the life that Andrew and I had before we left. In general, she helped as much as she could.
Unsplash bought everything from strollers to sliders. And then I started making a decent amount to support. This went on for a while, and then I was told: more twins. Of course, three small children on one average salary they would not pull. And I was not difficult: food was included in the contract, and the roof over my head was given (good).
For a long time, the son and his family received about 1,000 euros a month, as a salary. On holidays, sometimes more. And I'm so used to it that I've stopped thinking. Until a friend came to visit me with her trouble.
Both of us are not young, we met here in Italy. She was 5 years older, helped her family as much as she could, and here she always lived on suitcases. He rides here and there. And now she wanted to return completely, under the care of her family. And the family does not accept, does not want to live with an old woman. They are looking for a rented apartment, for which they will also have to pay something. Health does not allow you to work, and the pension is that pension.
And I thought about it, too. Here I begin my seventh decade, God willing to work for another 10 years, and what next? I also thought that my son would help me in my old age. I thought it was time to think about myself too.
On the appointed date, the money on the card to the son did not arrive. And the next day, too. On the third day, it's not him, it's his daughter-in-law. And even though she never called me! He asks if I'm okay, if something's wrong. I said, "I'm doing great, I just decided to renovate my old apartment, it's time."
She said nothing in response. We exchanged a couple of polite questions about health and family. And then my son called. He says his job is a nightmare and he's only out for half a day. I asked him what his wife was doing. Stays at home with the kids. And he also says that they have no one to sit with, they have no grandparents there. Like it was my fault.
The conversation ended on a bad note: I was indirectly accused of being far away and could do nothing but money. But it didn't end there either. Although I have already firmly decided that I will no longer send money with this attitude.
The last call came from my sister-in-law, and I don't know if Andrey knows she called me. Not only will I not see my grandchildren, but she will leave my husband. He'll take the kids. How she did it without a job, I don’t know. Maybe she's got someone.
Anyway, I'm totally confused. I was going to go home in the next couple of years, to my warm apartment. And now I don’t know: continue to work, is it urgent to go back to figure out what is what? I want to see my grandchildren and I want to see my son. What do you think?
Pulling my son’s studies on a meager salary would be difficult. So as soon as he arrived, I started going to work. First to Poland and then to Italy. Earned in the working season was enough for several months. Then, when her son became an adult, she went to Italy and regularly sent money, sent parcels, came to the holidays.
I was almost 55 when my son called me and said, “Mom, I’m getting married!” There was no limit to my happiness, because our family was very small. And now there are grandchildren.
Unsplash Life on earnings Set a wedding date in six months. I had been living in Italy for 5 years. I managed to find a good housekeeper contract, so during this time I saved up a decent amount of money. I will never forget the elongated faces of my matchmakers when I handed my son and daughter-in-law the keys to their own apartment at the wedding. Two-bedroom with not the newest, but good repairs. I wanted to make such a pleasant surprise. I wouldn’t buy a house in Italy with that money.
I left again for work, after six months a call is waiting for a boy! The son was hard at the time, and his wife went on maternity leave. I realized he couldn't pull them out alone. And I didn't want my grandson to have the life that Andrew and I had before we left. In general, she helped as much as she could.
Unsplash bought everything from strollers to sliders. And then I started making a decent amount to support. This went on for a while, and then I was told: more twins. Of course, three small children on one average salary they would not pull. And I was not difficult: food was included in the contract, and the roof over my head was given (good).
For a long time, the son and his family received about 1,000 euros a month, as a salary. On holidays, sometimes more. And I'm so used to it that I've stopped thinking. Until a friend came to visit me with her trouble.
Both of us are not young, we met here in Italy. She was 5 years older, helped her family as much as she could, and here she always lived on suitcases. He rides here and there. And now she wanted to return completely, under the care of her family. And the family does not accept, does not want to live with an old woman. They are looking for a rented apartment, for which they will also have to pay something. Health does not allow you to work, and the pension is that pension.
And I thought about it, too. Here I begin my seventh decade, God willing to work for another 10 years, and what next? I also thought that my son would help me in my old age. I thought it was time to think about myself too.
On the appointed date, the money on the card to the son did not arrive. And the next day, too. On the third day, it's not him, it's his daughter-in-law. And even though she never called me! He asks if I'm okay, if something's wrong. I said, "I'm doing great, I just decided to renovate my old apartment, it's time."
She said nothing in response. We exchanged a couple of polite questions about health and family. And then my son called. He says his job is a nightmare and he's only out for half a day. I asked him what his wife was doing. Stays at home with the kids. And he also says that they have no one to sit with, they have no grandparents there. Like it was my fault.
The conversation ended on a bad note: I was indirectly accused of being far away and could do nothing but money. But it didn't end there either. Although I have already firmly decided that I will no longer send money with this attitude.
The last call came from my sister-in-law, and I don't know if Andrey knows she called me. Not only will I not see my grandchildren, but she will leave my husband. He'll take the kids. How she did it without a job, I don’t know. Maybe she's got someone.
Anyway, I'm totally confused. I was going to go home in the next couple of years, to my warm apartment. And now I don’t know: continue to work, is it urgent to go back to figure out what is what? I want to see my grandchildren and I want to see my son. What do you think?
After 5 years abroad, my mother returned home, at a holiday in her honor, she told me the news, which made me feel bad.
When I did not send my son 1000 euros on the appointed day, I got a call from my daughter-in-law, such a turn I did not expect.