After 5 years abroad, my mother returned home, at a holiday in her honor, she told me the news, which made me feel bad. Bashny.Net

Sometimes. decide for yourself It can be very difficult. Especially when it comes to parents. You can be an adult, a mature person, with a decent salary, subordinates and a huge baggage of experience. But mom and dad will always give you a slight insecurity about words or actions. What can I do, education? We were all kids with our mistakes and mistakes. Who knows more about them than their parents?



It is especially difficult if the father or mother has a strong character and completely different views on life. In this case, it is almost impossible to prove anything. If psychologists work with such situations in the West, this is largely decided by personal conversations. Long and hard. And, unfortunately, the result is not always perfect.

I never thought I would be angry with my mom and sister at the same time. I'm not that kind of person. But, life has arranged everything so that the feeling of injustice I can not hide anywhere, and I do not want to. I have to live with it, but what can I do in my situation? I can't make my own decision.

Rita and I grew up in a big country house. Our family was always friendly, but small quarrels did not bypass her. They were mainly started by my mother, because she was constantly afraid that she would raise us lazy and careless daughters. Which for a village woman means a terrible shame if you didn't know. Therefore, no work was spared for the two of us. We cleaned, washed, cooked. Then we learned to work on the ground: my mother wanted us to always have the opportunity not to die of hunger. And that's where I get it.



Then, when we grew up and we started having our first relationship, Mom was here with her life advice. Dad didn’t get involved in these matters, he cared more about the house: he wanted to make a large annex to it so that more people could live in it. Anyway, Rita was the first to get married and go to live in the city with her husband. I was still telling my dad, they say, you're trying in vain, I'm also driving away with my beloved. But he wouldn't listen.

It turned out that my father was right. I divorced my husband in my third year together. She took another young son and went to live with her parents. As you can see, there was enough room. So there was nothing stopping me from raising my son in the country, outdoors. But the sister settled in the city with her husband and they, it seems, everything turned out very well. Rita decided to become a housewife and they, one by one, had as many as four children! I'll never understand that, at least one of them.

But time passed and things slowly got worse. Not for me: I raised my son, helped my parents on the housework, thank you, mother, as a child taught. We were basically monotonous, but not bad. But from Rita more and more often began to come bad news: there is not enough money, with so many young children it is very difficult to cope, and the husband does not cope - exhausted all. They should rest, but how about when more and more unpaid bills come in every day? Everything was fine, thank goodness.



Then her mother decided that she had nothing to do at home and wanted to go to her friend’s office. To another country, to earn money, in short. We all understood why she had made that decision, but no one had said it. So, after a couple of months of training, my mother went abroad. She got a good job there and started sending money home. A little bit even my son and I fell apart, but most of it went to my sister.

I was completely satisfied with that. Of course. Rid the money better. To such an avalanche of children just go shopping - you will get tired. Not to mention everything else. She and her husband even came to our village a couple of times. Here the son-in-law of the father even with the repair helped a little: it was clear that the mother abroad tried not in vain. My sister’s husband got a little better and looked pretty rested. That's very good.



Meanwhile, I met an interesting man. Not rich, but hardworking and honest. And with my son they played like family. I don’t think I’m a young girl. But I still don't feel like an old woman. Why not think about a second marriage? As they say, the first pancake, then the next one will come out the way it should. I talked to my father and he agreed to let Peter live with us in my outbuilding. But only temporarily, because I wanted to live in the city one day.

My mom gave me the go-ahead, too, but to be honest, it was clear from her tone that she wasn't too worried about my situation. A man and a man. Let him live. To her son-in-law, she had much more tender feelings: she knows the date of his birth, and she calls, congratulates. Pretty much her own man. Not like my case. Well, come on, we're not really married yet. Maybe it'll be different later.

But my hopes were in vain, because after 5 years of staying abroad, my mother decided that she had earned enough. She told us everything and everyone agreed with her. Upon arrival, we decided to make a small holiday “for our own” and even rented a hall in a city cafe. My sister's family, my dad and even my fiancé came. Finally, I thought she and Mom would meet and maybe she'd change her mind about him. But I was disappointed.



Towards the evening, my mother toasted us and thanked us for such a generous reception and said she had a surprise for us. The money she earned will be enough for Ritina’s family even for a new apartment. And if they profitably sell or exchange their old Khrushchev, then there will only be more options. And the children will be more spacious, and Rita and her husband will be freer to breathe. Of course I was happy for my sister. But for me, my mother didn’t have any gifts. How could she make an independent decision on this issue?

Only then, in a private conversation, did she ask me what I was unhappy with? I am allowed to stay with my parents as long as I want and with whomever I want. The house will inherit from me, of course. Of course, there is no question of any city. So what, now we live and do not know the grief? And everything in the city is expensive and these apartments, concrete boxes. Not like your own house. So what are the claims?!



Peels And now I'm still hurting. My mother made it very clear to me that I would now sit with her and my father in old age. That my child will go to a rural school, and my husband (if we get married at all) will not run away from the foreman in the local production. While Rita's hands are untied. Even though she has four children! And how, tell me, is that fair? Or can you really measure everything by quantity? One son, you live with us. More? Here's the money for a new place. It's a shame I feel like crying. But I just can't do anything right now.