7 Unconventional Stories About Abortion

There are more than a million abortions in Russia every year. Here are a few stories about abortions and abortions.

Daughter

My friend is a serious guy who has seen everything in his life. He remained until the end of the term about two months. My wife came for a long date. Good girl. I waited eight years for him. At the end of the day, I wrote him that I was pregnant. And he really wanted a baby. He wanted a girl. And happy.

And when he was released, all the guys met him. And a wife. And he pulled her aside and said, "How's that?" She shook her head, No, it’s just a delay. It appeared. He was upset. But I quickly forgot about it. There is no greater holiday than the day of liberation.

And a few years have passed. And he went up to his house, to the fifth floor, where they lived with his wife in a small Khrushchev. He goes up the stairs and thinks about his. Suddenly, on the fourth floor, he feels like someone is holding his pinky. Looks, there's a little girl in a white dress stomping next to him. Small. Come on, puff. Like all children, he first puts one foot on a step and puts the other to it. He was surprised and said, “Who are you?” And she says, "Dad, it's me, it's your daughter."

He intercepted - a small warm baby palm in his hand. He leaned over, looked at her, asked, "What's your name?" She shook her head and said, "No way." And they're already up to the fifth floor. And she stopped at the door.

He says, "Come in, come in." She shook her head and said, “I’m not going to see you.” You do not have room for yourself.” And I went downstairs. And he wanted to run after her. Weak at once.

He sat on the stairs, looked after her and could not move. And he sat there until Lenka left the apartment. He sits silent. She put her hand on his shoulder: “Sanya, what are you doing?” And he said to her, "Lenka, you had an abortion before I was released." She paused and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t say that.” I wasn't sure. I trembled. What child? The space itself is lacking.

Eugene Roizman

In the blue window opening I had a girlfriend in Germany a long time ago.

She traveled from Germany to Georgia and received a grant. And I lived without it for a month, worked with the Vietnamese, ate their rice, bored, went to the park on Saturdays, where Vietnamese children let a snake, looked at a snake in the sky.

And then she came back from Georgia. We met somewhere else, not where I worked. I don’t remember anything – I remember the blue opening of the open window and looking into my eyes. It was a special evening, beyond the understandable emotions of meeting after separation. Transparent blue air, long bed, balls on the back. Everything is remembered as on Petrov-Vodkin, tucked in, exposed planes across linear perspective.

For some reason, we calculated that today it is possible. I never had it like I gave myself to her. Something about which only fairy tales and myths hint. That's where I remember her eyes. Something suddenly became clear - here the words are stalled - and I was not immediately able to suppress this incomprehensible, unpleasant feeling in my strength.

All our calculations flew from the ridge of the Caucasus. We were both students, and I was faint-hearted and afraid. We went, a month later, when she entered Frankfurt with a strip in her hand. There, a half-acquainted doctor half-acquainted for 600 marks performed abortions. It could have been done in Holland, but it was far away. I made money from the Vietnamese in just a month, and I spent nothing, because the Vietnamese were feeding white sticky rice for free. I remember those six bluish Clare Vicks. I remember how we were afraid of the inspectors in the Frankfurt metro, but did not pay: there was no money at all, except those blue ones. There was something in the suspicion with which we looked at all who resembled the guardians, and resembled them all.

The surgeon was young, wearing glasses, and while he was filling out the papers, he complained that his colleagues were harassing him for helping women, even though we didn’t ask him anything. She was put in a chair. I probably shouldn't tell you. I was put next to a stool, I either took her hand dry and wrinkled, or I grabbed it myself. Some kind of transparent vacuum cleaner pulled up, a transparent hose and a metalized hose, turned it all on. The surgeon began to operate, my friend screamed in a new voice, a pink one crawled down the hose, divided by bubbles, like in a cocktail tube, and I fainted into these hoses and fell. There is nothing more to say about life after ammonia.

A few days later I had a dream about a girl. Five years. She looked at me, with love and regret, from a gray space where there was nothing around. I cried in my sleep because I understood everything immediately. I couldn't help but understand.

Later I had this dream again, but only as a dream about a dream – I never saw it again.
My friend, thank God, now has two wonderful children, and my husband is not a match to me.

I don't have kids.

I have not been able to discuss abortion since 14 years ago.

Whatever you want, it's not my fault. I write for those who, like me two years ago, find themselves in a difficult position to choose whether or not to have an abortion. I have no moral right to lecture anyone or to blame those who have succumbed to the temptation to simply “solve the problem.” And I do not in any way appeal to those people who are forced to have an abortion for medical reasons. When I did this for myself (which usually happens for a couple of weeks, no more) and saw such articles, they caused only outrage and the standard reaction of “don’t teach me to live, better help financially”. Since I cannot help everyone financially, I can only share my own thoughts on this topic.

My situation was very difficult. The father of the child (my fiancé, since everything happened after the official engagement, the exchange of rings in the presence of relatives and the offer of a hand and heart, not a casual acquaintance “from the street”!) immediately took a completely independent position of the type “if you want, have an abortion, do not want – whatever you want, I have nothing to do with it.” I have a good job, but I was in danger of losing it because of the decree. The boss herself is childless, could well break the contract. Materially, there is no one to count on except yourself. The living conditions are also quite severe. I won’t write too much, but believe me, it wasn’t easy. I live not in Russia, but in one of the republics of the former USSR, there is no free milk kitchen, no child allowances, no mat. help for single mothers.

On one side of the scale – the alluring ease of solving the problem – there was nothing, the groom made it clear that it was necessary for me to have an abortion, and we would again be together, that he was not ready for this yet, but in two years we would definitely give birth to a child. I stay with my beloved man (and how I loved him!), no one knows anything, do not have to suffer with the problems of diaper cleavages, life is beautiful, a lot of plans for the future ...

On the other side of the scale is a single mother, comments from relatives and acquaintances, a child without a father, financial problems, it is not known what will happen to work (and I have been looking for such a good job in the specialty for a long time).

And all you need to do is take some pill or lie under anesthesia for half an hour in the clinic. And so everything somehow suspiciously converged, it seemed that it was only necessary to do this and all the problems would be solved – both love and career.

I don't know if I can explain what I've been through these weeks. Those who have been in the same situation will understand me. The biggest shock for me was to realize that this happened to me, to a girl from an intelligent, prosperous family. I’ve always believed that these stories are only children of divorced families, changing right and left guys. What about me?

In general, this is probably the first thought that comes to mind, and with which it is necessary to understand why this happened. There is no single answer – everyone has their own story and their own life. But I can say one thing: I would go crazy if I had an abortion.

At that moment, I confess, I didn’t think much about the child, I wanted to keep my love. The child was something very abstract for me at the time, and love – falling in love – was absolutely insane. It is difficult to explain what this man became for me at the age of 28 – he seemed to me the ideal of a man, the light in the window, the salvation from loneliness.

So why did I refuse to have an abortion? Yes, she feared for her health, feared infertility, did not want to commit a mortal sin - murder. But now I know that God has saved me. Then I seemed to myself and the surrounding unfortunate victim of events, blamed everything on the groom. Now, two years later, I see what a terrible spiritual and spiritual situation I was in: just a ball of jealousy, pride, envy. If I had had an abortion in that situation, I would probably have been in a mental institution now, or would have committed suicide.

It was the infinite mercy of God that I could save the child, but it was even greater that I saw now what was going on in my soul. Then I seemed to myself a successful young lady, who both at work and in family life is in perfect order - look, envy ... But what was behind it...

By the way, as for the external arrangement – the expression “God will give a child – will give for a child” was fulfilled by one hundred percent. My boss calmly accepted my decree, although all the time (2 months) I had to work from home, and I was terribly tired. Even while I was on maternity leave, I was offered a new position, the salary doubled, some more orders provided a fairly good income in the first year of the child’s life.

I look at the baby and I think, how could I even think about abortion? I can't believe I've seriously considered it, it's so surreal to me now that man, and it's so richer my life has been made by a child. I still have a long way to go to understand and realize my mistakes, to deal with my spiritual “cockroaches”, but most importantly, I avoided an irreparable mistake. The most important thing I learned from all this difficult period is this attitude – “the main thing is to know that you are doing the right thing, and the rest is not important.” What stopped me was that I would feel like a traitor who betrayed an innocent child. And in comparison, all the talk about small wages, benefits and decrees seems so petty and unworthy.

My conscience is still tormented by those small and nasty thoughts that came to my mind at the time. I am thinking of taking a child from an orphanage to make amends... And I hope that at least someone my letter will dissuade from a fatal irreparable mistake. Abortion is not the solution to the problem, it will only confuse everything worse and will have to get out and sort out for years, and it is not known whether it will work at all. Good luck!

Agnesia


I'll give birth! Once upon a time, as a first-year student, I found out that I was pregnant by a man I couldn’t live with. Our relationship is over. I lived alone in a communal apartment and worked as a nurse.

Three months of tears... But I decided to give birth to a girl-- Anechka. She's 12 now. My mom didn’t talk to me for a year. The first time was very difficult. I donated penicillin bottles to the pharmacy because there was not enough money for children. But people are nice, I remember that time with warmth in my heart! Completely strangers helped. Not only did I give birth and raise a child, with God’s help I graduated from medical school, got married, gave birth to another girl (already in the third year), My husband then left school and went to security. My mother was against the baby again. With God’s help, it all ended well again.

My fear is, “What am I going to do alone?” How will I cope with everything? and most importantly - what is waiting for my child? - tormented my soul quite thoroughly. But while I was silent about it and didn’t tell anyone anything, I at least avoided the shame of admitting that I was having a baby without a father. Since my parents divorced when I was barely a year old, I dreamed of a full and happy family. But killing a child because I couldn’t build a normal family? I couldn't do that.

You can be silent for up to six months (which I did), and then everything will become clear. It was very difficult for me to accept. I'm a medic, I knew, no, I saw a fetus develop. We brought to the department a great book about the intrauterine development of the child by day. With huge A4 format photos. Here's a cell, here's an embryo, and here's a finger sucker. Small, defenseless. During my studies at the school I took birth in the practice of obstetrics. In addition, I was accompanied by a pregnant doctor from our department. She was 45 years old. As a student, she had an abortion for medical reasons. And then for many years I could not get pregnant.

How did people help? How did they know I needed help? To be honest, I don't know. I've been through a mental breakdown. But from the moment I accepted this situation, 'Yes, I'm pregnant!!!' I’m going to give birth no matter what people say!!! We have to prepare for the birth. The baby's coming into this world. And I started by knitting a sweatshirt. Diligently, with love, I tied every loop. I prayed to Xenia Blessed that she would help me to stand up and give birth to a child. Something in my soul has turned. It became clear that only with God’s help can we survive. Since then, I have given alms to the poor. We all walk under God.

Only after that, I went to my parents. The deadline was approaching five months. Of course, Mom was shocked. She cried on her husband's chest. I was very sorry to upset her.

I worked hard, I was pale and pale. Colleagues, pitying me, helped. I had no idea the real reason for my pallor. I blamed morning sickness on a sick stomach. Studying was disgusting. I mean, I tried. But she occasionally fell asleep in lectures. If she didn’t sleep, she struggled with sleep. I had to take academic leave. Just at this time I was supposed to have another vacation at work, smoothly transitioning into prenatal.

November month. I don't have to go to work, but there, at work, helping the sick, I forgot about my problems. At least they felt sorry for me. I decided to visit my grandmother in Rostov-on-Don. The city where I was born and raised, where my father is, where my childhood friends are. The money for the road was good. There is a risk of traveling alone while pregnant, but it has paid off. My parents knew everything first. Second, surrounded by love and affection. Friends gave away from their children who what. The bed, the diapers, the openers. Of course, the misadventures are not over yet. Pregnancy was difficult, and in addition I slipped and fell, went to the hospital. And I was really surprised. Not at home, but I was accepted as a family. The staff was very sensitive and attentive.

My mother's sister still tried in a good way, and shouting and threats to persuade me to artificial childbirth. The child is in full swing, angry, I can say. But thanks to my dad, I told you not to meet. I have been in the hospital longer than at home. And then on a sunny Sunday morning, Anechka was born. It was a screamer!!! All night long, I swung her in my arms. There was time for three already approaching, my grandmother's goddaughter (lived across the street) will come. "What are you lighting?" He'll ride. Sometimes the father would stand up: "Go, sleep." Nervousness during pregnancy affected. And the girl was sick often, I had liquid milk - I could not eat meat at all then. It was hard, but help came from nowhere.

When my mother first saw the baby – and we were already 4 months old, her heart melted. For another three months, she came to Anjechka, and she seemed not to talk to me. The final truce took place at the Anyutin christenings.

There was a good woman who looked after Anyuta while I was in the lectures. Children’s money and scholarships are small. But I didn't care about the big ones. I knew I had to learn and raise a baby. And I studied. I'm thinking about how much Anechka will be when I'm done.

Much is now forgotten, but the main thing is not to rely on people, but on the Lord. For me, not yet in church, this was the main lesson. A lesson that I seemed to learn, but not to see until the end.

abortion At 24, I was psychologically incredibly dependent on my mom. Telling our family history probably makes no sense. I will limit myself to the fact that almost all my life my mother was seriously ill, the physical illness gave complications to the psyche. The atmosphere in the house was constantly very heavy - incredible pettiness, suspicion, whims, tantrums ... The slightest of my attempts to act contrary to my mother's orders ended in scandals, heavy accusations, and what is most terrible, phrases that because of my disobedience, my mother will surely get sick and die.

It is very difficult to live from childhood with the burden of feeling that any of your actions can cost the life of the person you love most in the world, believe me. So, despite all my fear of my mother, I did something stupid. At that time, I was going to marry a completely stranger, unloved person. It was my only chance to get out of my family nightmare. The fact that from one trap I myself go to another, I tried not to think.

Mom’s suspicion at that time became even more acute, she began to check my monthly calendar, attempts to somehow escape from such petty care met with new scandals and accusations of me in everything that could come to her mind.

And it was against this background that I had a delay. One day, two... I was not just panicked, I was terrified. It was absolutely unthinkable to open up to my mother, especially since I was absolutely sure that she would die immediately from such a shock, and I would not be able to live with her death on my conscience. I had to imitate the allegedly begun menstruation, and urgently look for a way out. On the advice of friends in the course went baths with mustard, a handful of ascorbic – nothing helped.

Two more days later, I told the two women who were old enough to be my mother about my problem.

- Why are you crying, stupid? How many weeks have you been late?

- Four days.

- Look, there's a clinic that's just opened nearby, and they do a mini if the delay is less than a week. This is nonsense, we did – in no way compared to conventional abortion. You come, you'll do it quickly, and you'll be home in an hour. All pleasure is half a dime. Do you have any money?

I had the money. Just a short time before the family budget I was allocated three hundred rubles for wedding expenses, so you could try to write off the “abortion” costs for other expenses. My fiancé treated the news rather indifferently, leaving everything to me to decide for myself. Money, however, did not give, but agreed to accompany to the clinic.

I called, signed up, slowly pulled out of the house, as ordered, a sheet, a diaper and a night girl. On the approaches to the clinic, the legs were already shaking, nasty nausea rolled up to the throat, and the arms and legs walked with a walker.

There were dozens of girls waiting in the lobby, mostly much younger than me, and there were only a few adult women among them. We were taken in turns for more than a conditional examination, tests, and then in the pre-ban before the operating room. No one tried to dissuade, and the attitude of the staff was contemptuous and humiliating.

When there was no one left in line in front of me, there was a huge desire to quit everything, spit on the money, and run away. But I remembered my mother’s face and stayed. Out of the O.R. came bent in half white as a girl's paper and it was my turn. I was given a no-shpa pill to relax my muscles. When I cried carefully about anesthesia, the nurse rudely pulled that people like me, no anesthesia is allowed, and so not a bar.

Laid on a high table, attached some hoses, the car soared. I have never experienced pain like that in my life. Pain and horror...

Then the nurse told me to go down, go to another room and lie down for half an hour with an ice warmer on my stomach. I think I fainted at the time, or at least my consciousness shut down as if I had fallen into a black hole. After a while I was told to go home. All the way I was pounded by nervous tremors, but at home I managed to build a smile on my face, tell some fictional tale about an allegedly romantic walk under a cherry and fall asleep. It was in mid-May 1989...

Then there was marriage, which ended in a year and a half divorce, baptism, unsuccessful attempts to church, a second marriage, two children, mother’s death ... And severe depression, the cause of which I could not find.

Over time, many things became clearer to me. Most likely, I did not have any pregnancy for the first time – dysfunction had already occurred before, the probability of pregnancy from our “experiments” with the first groom was also extremely low, and even he, as it turned out later, was almost sterile. In the clinic, through the “machine”, they drove all those who applied “so that it would be bad later”, and the money they took for this in the 89th year was very considerable.

I tried to calm myself down, but I still didn’t let go. Sometimes she got sharper, sometimes she just sat with a dull needle. I was crazy about that feeling and didn’t know how to live with it. After a while, I finally came to church.

Gradually, I began to really understand the meaning of what I had done. Whether I had a child or not, it didn’t matter if I decided to have an abortion many years ago, it was enough to make me feel like a murderer.

Then came true repentance, to tears. Several times I tried to tell about everything at confession, but I began each time with the phrase that I was tormented by a sin committed before baptism, and in this place the father interrupted me – they say, how so, it turns out, you do not believe that in the mystery of baptism all the sins committed earlier are washed away. And I could not explain that I was baptized almost from the bay-barachta, not really understanding anything, not preparing. Therefore, at the time of baptism there was no repentance and renunciation of the former life.

This year, the memory of the perfect became even more acute. Every time I was preparing for confession (and I confessed weekly), I involuntarily remembered abortion first, but tried to convince myself that since my father said so, there was nothing to go back to. But he returned with more and more heartache.

Finally came such a day when, literally breaking to the analoi, and at confession not at the ("good") father, to whom I wanted to get, but at the "strict", I blurted out "I can not more ..." When I was young, I had an abortion out of fear of my parents. I don’t remember saying I was a priest. I remember that I was struck by his reaction – I expected that he would rebuke me, treat me harshly, and saw compassion and pain for me. At that time, I was just not preparing for communion – I suffered from a spiritual struggle so much that I could not bring myself to take a prayer book in my hands, and the last two days before confession just roared (another thing was superimposed on the abortion torment)... Nevertheless, I was blessed to receive communion. “Go, take communion, such wounds must be healed.”

Since then, recovery has slowly begun.

Tiny I was young at the time and didn’t understand much. As we were taught in school, I thought that we all descended from a monkey, that in the womb we all go from a cage, a fish, a bird to a frog, and before we give birth we turn into a little man. I believed all of this as truth.

When I got married, I really wanted to have children, but how many I thought I would decide for myself. I want two, I want three. My husband wanted a lot of kids. We didn't agree on that.

Everything was great. We had our first child, a wonderful baby. For the young father, this was not just a test of him as a young father, not just the joy of communicating with his son, but also a matter of pride - the Son! We lived well and joyfully, but soon life gave us trials. I was pregnant again. My husband loved what I couldn’t say about him.

After a difficult birth and suffering mastitis, I was very scared. And the prospect of going all over again didn't suit me. My maternal instinct has evaporated in the face of the challenges ahead. And I decided on a terrible thing - I decided to have an abortion. I feel terrible now, and then it seemed to me a normal operation that almost everyone does, no risk, and what a risk - there is nothing there yet: a tadpole of some kind, not even a person.

My husband was not happy with my decision, tried to persuade, carefully, without pressure. But I was adamant. Oh, yeah! It is up to women to decide whether to have an abortion or not.

But the question can be put in another way: let live or kill!

As time passed, I went to the gynecologist, got in line for an abortion, told my husband about it. Then, having apparently exhausted all the arguments in favor of the baby, he told me that I was a murderer, and that if you want, kill. I thought about it, but not for long, continuing to persevere.

So one evening, when my husband came home from work, he brought a large package, threw it on his bed and said, "Here!" Kill me!

I unwrapped the bundle and I saw a bunch of flaps, sliders, diapers, caps. I cried and I didn't go anywhere. We had a second son, a wonderful carapace. My second son grew up affectionate and loving, and every day he said he loved me.

He is now twenty-five years old, but he remains that way: loving and affectionate. In addition, the Lord rewarded him with the ability to write poetry, sing and play the guitar, do everything with his own hands, be a good programmer, love his older brother and parents, be absolutely selfless person.

When I look at him, I feel a sense of fear that he might not be there, and a sense of gratitude to my husband for saving him.

And then I was born... Oksana had been dating Sasha for almost two years when it turned out she was pregnant. She was nineteen years old. He seems to be twenty-three. In short, young people. Talks about marriage seemed to be conducted, but somehow not too active and completely uncertain. Sasha was a prominent guy, girls were spinning their heads to the full program and did not think so soon to connect their lives with one single person. Even if they have a baby. Especially if there's a baby. Oksana studied at the last year of music school, studied well and in fact was going to continue her studies at the conservatory, not to mention the fact that there were plenty of good guys around her, it seemed that she still had a husband to choose and choose. The situation was not easy.

Oksana’s mother, a serious woman who was fully focused on her work, was not very interested in her daughter’s personal life, affairs and health. It seems to be alive, like healthy, like somewhere studying, the girl is beautiful and independent, so she will not disappear. She herself had everything in life as planned: she graduated from the institute, got married “on time” (at 24 years old), after a while gave birth to two children – no “sensitive” situations, no problem of choice. How to come to such a woman and tell her that her daughter is pregnant, and even at the age of 19, with an unfinished secondary education, without a husband and, in general, without a profession! Of course, Oksana was afraid of her “iron” mother, her correctness and categoricalness in many matters of life.

However, as time passed, you had to either open up and ask for help, or do something yourself. But Oksana has not yet chosen what she wants to do – leave the child and get married, leave the child and raise him alone, have an abortion secretly or tell her mother, and then be what will happen.

After losing about a month and realizing that the father of the child special help and support do not have to wait, Oksana still came to her mother and revealed everything as it is. And the future grandmother said that it is necessary to give birth in any case, regardless, with or without a husband, that we will feed and grow ourselves. This is a pretty unexpected decision. Of course, Oksana herself wanted this child, perhaps she doubted the possibility and timeliness of the birth of a child in the circumstances, but she understood that “getting rid of” a child is not the same as pulling out a sick tooth, although many doctors often claimed that.

School was over, Sasha was in no hurry to take responsibility for the fate of Oksana and the future baby, came summer. Oksana still went to audition at the conservatory in another city. Even earlier, she had arranged with a local teacher that she would play several plays before the entrance exams. Coming home to the professor, Oksana was shocked! It turned out that five children grew up in a huge apartment! That is, an amazing woman managed not only to receive students at home (there were two luxurious white pianos in the living room), to study with students in the conservatory, but also to raise her own five children! 19-year-old Oksana did not fit into his head! But this comforted her and encouraged her to become a mother herself.

The exams, however, Oksana failed, because all she wanted then was food in any form! At 8 a.m., she was standing at the door of the local dumpling shop, waiting to be let in to order a double serving and something else for a snack. She could not eat everything, but regularly bought these dumplings in huge quantities. The men used to all kinds of things, the regulars of the dumplings, lined up to see how a fragile girl would weave all this mountain of food!

By the end of the summer, Oksana returned to her hometown. She was not at all upset that her studies did not work out. She understood that her life had now changed, that from now on it was necessary to think not only about herself, but also about the little life she carried under her heart.

Sasha showed up unexpectedly. I do not know how long and what exactly they found out on a hot August evening, but after a while Oksana and Sasha signed and began to live together.

Four months later, I was born.



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

Source: matveychev-oleg.livejournal.com/2248714.html