How to Forget About Your Ex Partner

The relationship ended, and the memory of the former remained. The reasons for separation can be different: betrayal, mutual decision, new love, emotional burnout ...

But over time, many women begin to miss formerly. Go to his pages in social networks, appear in his habitat, view joint photos. Longing for the former can manifest itself even in new happy relationships.



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It's not about feelings. Psychologists identify 5 reasons why women live nostalgia for the former. Editorial "Site" He'll tell you about them.

Memories of the former

1. The feeling of incompleteness
   In psychology, this is called unfinished gestalt, which prompts us to remember the former. Insufferability, resentment, contradictions leave their precipitation. This condition happens when the partners did not agree to calmly disperse, and someone just slammed the door. Or maybe you wanted to change the relationship, and they suddenly ended. If you have unanswered questions for your ex-partner, you need to let off steam. Psychologists advise to put all the grievances and inefficiencies on paper, but this letter is not to send, but simply to throw away.
   
   
   
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2. Emotional dependency
   Love is often confused with addiction. But the difference is big, because a loving person wants his partner to be happy and is able to let go. Italian psychiatrist Roberto Assagioli sees the cause of emotional dependence in unhealthy relationships with parents, which are unconsciously transferred to a partner. Often a person simply needs to depend on someone and play the role of a victim. There are women who are very strong. languishWho has abandoned them or abused them during a relationship. They will remember this man in a healthy relationship, because they need to feel dependent. To get rid of this feeling, you need to work well with yourself: remember childhood resentments, understand what makes you not live, but suffer.
   
   
   
   
   
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3. Comfort zone
   Long-term relationships develop certain habits. Shared shopping, well-established life, mutual friends, movies on Saturdays and other small joys create a comfort zone. So I had to get out of it. After parting, you want to return stability, the usual rhythm, because it is difficult and difficult to build a new one. Therefore, in past relationships pulls the same as in the house in which he spent his childhood. You just need to understand for yourself that by stepping out of your comfort zone, you can get a lot of new opportunities. With a new person, you can also get everything you lost in a previous relationship.
   
   
   
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4. Unjustified expectations
   Psychotherapist Fritz Perls calls this “unrealized need” and considers it the cause of neuroses and psychological blockages. You made plans for a future together, chose the names of future children, imagined how everyone would envy your family happiness. Suddenly, the dream ended. It is hard to give up, and even harder to let go. In order not to be hurtful and hurtful, we need to understand that not all our intentions should be fulfilled, and next time not to run ahead and not to demand from the partner that he is simply not ready to give.
   
   
   
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5. A sense of ownership
   Even after breaking up with a partner, some continue to be jealous and not give freedom. They need to feel superior and any competition makes them jealous. For example, a woman after the breakup did not even remember a man, but six months later she saw him with another woman. She begins to yearn for her ex, tries to catch his eye, looks for information about his woman. The attitude of having is based on selfishness, consumerism and domination. And to create a harmonious relationship, you must first want to be a spouse, a loving person. Give, not receive.
   
   
   
   
   
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In order not to remember the former, it is best not to part, but to build a strong relationship. To do this, you need to choose a person with whom you really want to be and work together to improve relationships. And if there's a breakup, don't get hung up on it. It was good and it will get better. The main thing is to set priorities correctly.

Tell us in the comments if you have any moments of nostalgia about your ex. Share this article with your friends on social media!

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