Today we will talk on the subject, which is fundamental in the life of a woman - a relationship with a man. Despite the fact that we are all unique and each of us has their balances of interests, there is a basic expectation that men have, and the basic expectations that women have in relationships.
This is not a whim or fancy, it is a vital necessity - to receive certain components. There are three things that are vitally important to get men from the women, and thus three important qualities needed in the life of a woman to a man next to her bloomed.
Because if a man with a woman does not bloom, then it fades. And if it fades, then he naturally spent vitality and health suffers. The question is not that he is naughty, or a parasite, it just like a child who does not get the milk does not satisfy their need for power and simply destroyed. And if he's just out of duty, out of some affection or guilt is living with a woman, everyone will be worse: he and the woman, and their children, and the rest
So, the first feminine quality - self-sufficiency
What it is? This ability to be happy regardless of the circumstances. Those. in fact it is - the resource state. If a woman feels good when she is encouraged when she chirps like a bird when she is glad that she does or does not do, it generates energy. Even in ancient Chinese sources was registered wisdom that a woman is a source of energy.
Therefore, man, coming from work, crouches to her to be fed. And if a woman has a bad mood, he has nothing to receive, then to make their case. Therefore, first of all, a woman must do what she likes. If she wants to embroider, even embroider. If she wants to sing, let him sing. And if you do not want to, though not singing and not embroider, even admires herself in the mirror, if it rises from this mood. If a woman is happy with life, then man will get next to her is the power that enables him to win the war, create your income and solve all the other problems of men.
Without a state of satisfaction, we, women, are losing their attractiveness to men. Biologically men and women are arranged so that one of them is a donor and the other - the consumer. And the donor is a woman. She did not need to get energy from the man, she receives energy from nature. No matter how much a woman may be the children - it is able to love them all. No matter how much a woman any hobbies - it may get involved in all of them. Because it is hidden an endless source of development, it is designed by nature to generate new life.
It is very important that you understand this simple thing: the basic needs of men - women receive from energy
We - women of our time - took over from our mothers, who, unfortunately, had to survive. I do not have mothers, grandmothers. Therefore, we want to combine all the roles at once (or do not want, but they have to), forgetting the most important of their role - the role of the energy source. If you are not glad if you're not happy with what you're doing, if you have an unpleasant, it does not matter in this case, what you have dignity, what you are wonderful hostess and mother, how much you earn money ...
If you are not interested in yourself, how can you be interested in a man? You must enjoy themselves, then you will enjoy others. So the first point is your own happiness, your own personal, independent of men, the ability to enjoy life.
The second point is your generosity, your ability to believe in man, in spite of the fact that at the moment he shows weakness.
Mastroianni, a famous Italian actor, said that every man in every woman's heart hopes to meet his mother. If I heard these words 25 years ago, I would be terribly outraged. I would say: "Why do I need a man, you want to love as a child?" But when I lived life, I know that we just love our children wrong
The word "mother" in our Russian mentality is much different meaning than in Italian. The mentality of our mother - it is an authoritarian woman who often said: "You - idiot, son." And in the Italian mentality mother - a woman who admires her baby. Due to the fact that the woman generates the energy of nature, if a woman requires a man something (requires - that unhappy, that is), then automatically, it does not believe that he can cope with their tasks, that he is able to be realized in this life, that he is, as it should.
In fact, it gives a signal to the man: "You're not wrong. You have to try, you have to be corrected, you have to be different. " If you chose this person to be with him, let the trouble to understand what you value in this man. What strengths would you assess it, even if he was indifferent to you? What this man would attract you, it causes the respect and admiration? This, incidentally, practical advice.
If you have enough understanding and happiness in relationships, just write a little list - if the man was a stranger, what would you estimate? Regardless of how it applies to you. Because very often say to me: "Oh! Yes it is with other women gold, and at home he a tyrant (idler, parasite, rude, insensitive blockhead). " And you look at him as a person in relationship with other people. Because if it is in your home does not exhibit the qualities that are able to be with other people, the problem in this case is only in you. Very useful even make a mutual exercise wife writing answers to the questions "My husband is like most, when I ..." and "My husband was most annoying when I ...", and her husband - to similar questions on their part; then you need to exchange leaves. Unfortunately, very often there are situations where people have lived together for life and do not bother to find out what a person needs in a partner!
Genuine co-creation of family, real life, in which we support each other and exchange energy is possible when we give energy to the address. And it turns out that everyone pays the best, in his opinion, is the best partner and do not need to, he needs something completely different. And instead, to clarify the situation, people are hoarding hurt and suffer. If the human qualities of the list you will not see any interest for you advantages, but continues to exist to this person, then why be surprised that you are not satisfied with these relations. Think about it - if you need them at all
Today, the formal family can not give happiness or health. Half a century ago it was possible - to live, hating each other, or to live a parallel courses and successfully live to a ripe old age, and even friends to the end of his life. Nowadays, it is impossible, because we very quickly from the negative emotions are destroyed physically. If a woman is constantly dissatisfied with her man, she begins violations in the endocrine system, necessarily suffers genital area ... So we have to face the truth and ask yourself these questions: Who am I? what I want? who is he? what he wants? why are we together? Very often, these simple questions clarify the very important things.
Thus, the second condition for success, since you yourself will be able to be happy - is the ability to believe in the person who next to you. I repeat once again: our relationships with men - a power relationship, we simply reject your mood. And if we reject the discontent, a man receives such a signal, as a boy receives from his mother: "You are not the same as it should; you are not fit anywhere. " And the boy who receives a signal from the mother, always shows the worst quality of those that he can demonstrate. Because even if it tends to go all out to curry favor, he loses himself. If he says: "Yes, I am, and the other will not!" - He is shocking the audience. But, most importantly, a person can not develop, to realize their strengths, if it does not receive support to the belief that he will succeed. Here, the conversation is not about being a mom to her husband, there is talk about how to believe in man.
Just a real mother's love is most clearly demonstrates this trait. And if you can not believe, it is better to part with that person. Because no matter how you have masked their lack of faith, it is sure to prove to be true in reality he destroyed, or it will change you, or it will be a bad father ... It must manifest itself if you do not see in him the qualities of
And the third point is the knowledge: the knowledge of how we are organized, to know that people have a certain response tools
In fact, our knowledge of nature, women and men, is that we need to take a simple thing: we are very different, and it is important to learn who I am, and who is he to communicate. We do not just speak different languages, we will always speak in different languages. This miracle of life that can be loved, to be happy, to feel a sense of unity, to explore the world from a completely different from your being! If we were like, we would not have been such an evolution.
Therefore, the first thing I urge you - do not judge men, but to understand. Learn how to construct the male psychology. Not personally, your spouse, and all. Keep in mind that they have a different way of thinking. Fortunately, now there are plenty of books and trainings on this topic. I'd add that it's very interesting - to learn to understand the whole world, unlike you, love the world, the world you dear, precious thee peace. And then this mutual Rated brings such happiness that can not be compared to anything.
Author: Svetlana Dobrovol'skaya