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How to learn to be yourself without feeling ashamed
Since childhood, we are told how we should behave and how we should feel in a given situation. When you get a gift, you should be happy, and when someone leaves, you should be sad. As a child, this scheme works flawlessly, but as you get older, you realize that sentiment It is much more complicated and is not divided only into black and white.
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If you have ever felt that your feelings are wrong and do not fit a particular situation, then you need to read this article. Editorial "Site" Today, he talks about how to accept yourself and not be ashamed of your feelings.
I think that each of us at least once felt the wrong feelings that are prescribed to feel in a particular situation. To understand what I'm talking about, I'll tell you a couple of stories.
A close friend of mine divorced her husband. She didn't want to see her friends for a long time, we thought she was grieving and wanted to be alone. We knew that she gave everything to this family and was loyal to her husband, and he just left. After a while I decided to come to her house and save her in case of something.
DepositPhotos, however, did not need to be rescued. She admitted that she does not feel broken and does not have sadness on her soul, as it should feel to a wife who was abandoned by her husband. Everything she felt after he left was a great relief. She didn’t want to see anyone because she would be comforted and sorry, but she didn’t need to.
She even thought that she was going crazy, because her feelings did not fit into the normal pattern. When she told her mother about this, she suggested that she go to the doctor because she felt something wrong. You can't do that, she's supposed to grieve.
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The father of my friend was sick for a long time. He was given a disappointing diagnosis and has been bedridden in recent months. He was cared for by his daughter. After he left, in a frank conversation, she admitted to me and a couple of other friends that she felt only relief. She loved her father and took care of him all the time. Then she was not understood, because by all rules she should be depressed and sad.
Of course, she felt the pain of loss, but was glad that the suffering of the loved one was over. All just a finger at the temple twisted, because these feelings are completely wrong.
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And my favorite example is my mother. She once told us that the happiest time of her life began when my brother and I left home. In this case, it is customary to feel abandoned and grieved, but her life was played with new colors, she was happy. Of course, she doesn’t tell anyone about it because it’s so wrong. No one will understand.
DepositPhotos
Throughout our lives, we collect a whole collection of these wrong feelings, are afraid to confess them and feel defective. But the truth is, these feelings are the real us. You don’t have to pretend that you’re grieving or rejoicing when you’re not. Let yourself feel, even if it does not fit into the stereotyped framework.
DepositPhotos
Do not try to feel what is demanded of you, and most importantly, stop being ashamed of your true feelings. The next time someone tells you that you’re feeling “something wrong” and it’s time to see a doctor, just smile back. Learn to accept yourself and your emotions as they are.
DepositPhotos
Only by learning this will you feel free and happy. Your feelings may not fit the standards of others, but you are real and honest with yourself in every way. Be yourself and be happy!
Other people always know how to live and how to feel. Recently, we shared with you the thoughts of a young mother who openly criticized stereotypes about mothers and explained why moms should not feel guilty. Draw conclusions...
What do you think about that? Share your opinion in the comments, we are always for a healthy discussion.
DepositPhotos
If you have ever felt that your feelings are wrong and do not fit a particular situation, then you need to read this article. Editorial "Site" Today, he talks about how to accept yourself and not be ashamed of your feelings.
I think that each of us at least once felt the wrong feelings that are prescribed to feel in a particular situation. To understand what I'm talking about, I'll tell you a couple of stories.
A close friend of mine divorced her husband. She didn't want to see her friends for a long time, we thought she was grieving and wanted to be alone. We knew that she gave everything to this family and was loyal to her husband, and he just left. After a while I decided to come to her house and save her in case of something.
DepositPhotos, however, did not need to be rescued. She admitted that she does not feel broken and does not have sadness on her soul, as it should feel to a wife who was abandoned by her husband. Everything she felt after he left was a great relief. She didn’t want to see anyone because she would be comforted and sorry, but she didn’t need to.
She even thought that she was going crazy, because her feelings did not fit into the normal pattern. When she told her mother about this, she suggested that she go to the doctor because she felt something wrong. You can't do that, she's supposed to grieve.
DepositPhotos
The father of my friend was sick for a long time. He was given a disappointing diagnosis and has been bedridden in recent months. He was cared for by his daughter. After he left, in a frank conversation, she admitted to me and a couple of other friends that she felt only relief. She loved her father and took care of him all the time. Then she was not understood, because by all rules she should be depressed and sad.
Of course, she felt the pain of loss, but was glad that the suffering of the loved one was over. All just a finger at the temple twisted, because these feelings are completely wrong.
DepositPhotos
And my favorite example is my mother. She once told us that the happiest time of her life began when my brother and I left home. In this case, it is customary to feel abandoned and grieved, but her life was played with new colors, she was happy. Of course, she doesn’t tell anyone about it because it’s so wrong. No one will understand.
DepositPhotos
Throughout our lives, we collect a whole collection of these wrong feelings, are afraid to confess them and feel defective. But the truth is, these feelings are the real us. You don’t have to pretend that you’re grieving or rejoicing when you’re not. Let yourself feel, even if it does not fit into the stereotyped framework.
DepositPhotos
Do not try to feel what is demanded of you, and most importantly, stop being ashamed of your true feelings. The next time someone tells you that you’re feeling “something wrong” and it’s time to see a doctor, just smile back. Learn to accept yourself and your emotions as they are.
DepositPhotos
Only by learning this will you feel free and happy. Your feelings may not fit the standards of others, but you are real and honest with yourself in every way. Be yourself and be happy!
Other people always know how to live and how to feel. Recently, we shared with you the thoughts of a young mother who openly criticized stereotypes about mothers and explained why moms should not feel guilty. Draw conclusions...
What do you think about that? Share your opinion in the comments, we are always for a healthy discussion.
