Highly sensitive children: What to do Bashny.Net

Vysokochuvstvitel the child is not a flaw and not a diagnosis. This is a feature that can and should be appreciated.

Sasha Pais, mother of children with increased sensitivity, shares his personal experience and how you can help your child:

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"My little daughter raises the tsunami and fighting for equipment cleaning Mandarin, and after three to five minutes hugging me with such force that the cracking of ribs. Oldest prefers to ride the trams, because the smell of in cars doesn't suit her.

Junior happily shows passers-by a toy, but if she spoke in response, to panic and in terror to climb on my head. Senior in response to a compliment or comment from an outsider makes a Pokerface, but I remember literally six months later.

Junior hundred and fifty times wakes up at night for no apparent reason that I or daddy laid her in bed and lay next to a couple of minutes.

The older a long time digesting the questions and requests, as if rising to the surface from a deep dive, and then makes all quick and clear answers.
 

All this sometimes tiring, annoying and angry. But I'm no better with his collection of oddities and don't know people without them. We try each other to hear and understand, don't live at the rainbow, but at its foot. The word cope.

However, about a year I caught myself on the feeling of missing something important with the kids. Articles and books about the education tired. There was a time when I need only read them and then was careful to avoid getting little use.

The answer came when I read "adult" an article about highly sensitive people.It turned out that my daughters out of this team, along with 15-20% of the population.

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picture © Lawrence Yang
How to understand this?

High sensitivity is an innate feature, which makes the human nervous system is extremely sensitive to the physical and emotional environment. This level of sensitivity is observed in approximately 20% of people and almost all animals.
It's not a flaw, not a syndrome and not a condition, it does not pass and does not require correction or treatment.

Dr. Elaine Aaron were two tests on high sensitivity for children and adults, which also give an idea about this particular person. In each test about 20 points, a positive result is if you put a tick over 13 times. It is important that if there were only one item (or two or three), but it accurately describes a feature of a person, the test can also be considered positive.

This suggests that high sensitivity is manifested by many combinations of adults and children with different temperament, character and way of life. In his book Dr. Aaron writes: "...some of ICP (highly sensitive children) are complex: active, emotionally strong, demanding, and stubborn, while others are calm, turned inward, and besides, it's too easy to climb, but not in the case when they have to join the group of children where they know nobody. And open, and busy, and reserved and obedient, all highly sensitive childrenextremely sensitive to their environment: emotional and physical."

Psychologist Mary Grochowski notes that highly sensitive children longer to Mature in terms of self-control and ownership of emotions: "This has a direct impact on school readiness. The development of the prefrontal areas of the cerebral cortex that is responsible for self-control, managing emotions, integrate thoughts and feelings in children usually occurs in 5-7 years, and highly sensitive —to 7-9 years».

To understand that with children and with me it's all right, I'm not a terrible nervous mother, who is raising a strange and nervous children, was priceless. When it became clear that their troubles and whims in most cases — reasonably needs we are all a little bit closer to the rainbow.

What to do?

Psychologist Mary Grochowski compared the perception of highly sensitive children with a sieve with large cells: "If you throw in a strainer a handful of sand, it's almost immediately come through. At the same time, the other kids cells of perception smaller, and half of the "sand" running late".
"Bucket" perception in highly sensitive children are overwhelmed fairly quickly. Then they find it difficult to cope.

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picture © Lawrence Yang

With me periodically the same thing happens, and then it becomes difficult to carry three buckets of sand. But I vividly imagine how I feel, my children, and it helps find solutions.

These tips are applicable to all children, because it is based on care, patience, concern and sympathy:

To perceive a high sensitivity as a gift

Development of intuition, insight, imagination, sensitivity — these are the distinctive traits of highly sensitive individuals. Perhaps the family grows inventor and visionary, with spiral clean oranges can accept.

To teach the child to rejoice to the high sensitivity

In the process of growing this feature can interfere with and irritate. It is important to show children the strengths of this phenomenon, learning to accept and love yourself.

Be mindful of the degree of sensitivity of the child (and each family member)

And take it into account when planning your day, activities life. Not to clutter up the time from morning till night in an unceasing activity. Be sure to take into account time for rest, solitude, and be prepared to give up some plans, if the child is tired.

Avoid crowds and large gatherings of people

Most highly sensitive people are afraid or feel uncomfortable in such places, especially if there is bright light or loud noises. I try not to take children to the supermarket. At the same time, small shops and cozy cafes they like and do not tire.

Try to spend more time outdoors if you live in the city

Even after a walk in the big Park of my children quiet and happy. Not only from oxygen but from the sounds, smells and tactile experiences that are not available on site and at home.

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Know escape routes and ambulance if "starts" (delicious, my favorite song, massage)
Psychologist Mary Grochowski recalls that in a family relationshipleading needs to be an adult: "It needs to be truly adult and Mature — not to pass on to the child's guilt and responsibility, to remember that child under a certain age (5-8 years) never naughty, just not doing out of spite — plohogo behavior there is always a reason, the task of the adult — to see, to understand and resolve".

To be with child by the partners and not to blame themselves for the failures

Highly sensitive children do not perceive a cry, harsh discipline and punishment. If I go off and try to push, you get resistance forces of the French revolution. Hundred thousand times proven: it is better to breathe, drink some water and agree.Sorry for the shout, and suddenly hear "I'm sorry!".

Often play with the child

The more and better the time you spend together, the easier it will be for the child to cope with their storms. That see psychologists, I see. For days when I don't have time to really hang out with kids they get tired and fighting.

Given a choice

Highly sensitive children do not need a complete lack of discipline. On the contrary, they need routine, but the freedom to choose what they are capable of by age. Before class I can tell my older daughter "get ready now, we're late!"and get a jellyfish on the shore. And I can say "do You want to go to class? To catch, you better get dressed, and I'll pack a backpack" and get dressed baby. Or at least supportive of the sloth, which can be worn.published 

 

Author: Sasha Pais

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: ponaroshku.ru/blog/zona-vysokogo-napryazhenia/