Book of Complaints and Adorations (Good Idea)

When Anton and Marina got married, they decided that there would be no scandals in their house. Instead of litigation, clarification and reproach, they started a Book of Complaints so that anyone who didn’t like something could bring it to the attention of all family members.
They lived well and amicably, so they renamed the Book of Complaints into the Book of Complaints and Adorations: in love they were also explained in writing.
Then the children were born, and quickly learned to write. And for many years in a row, family members said the same thing to each other: Is something wrong with you? Go and write to the Book of Complaints. And they actually went and wrote. All. Okay.

Who blew the light in the bathroom? It's impossible to wash! Dad.
Why not? You can set a roll of toilet paper on fire. There will be plenty of light. Kiryusha, Sasha
Who set fire to the toilet paper roll last night? I'll kill everyone! Mommy.
You won't. They do it at night. lusha
Lyuska, if you want in the ears - continue in the same spirit! Kiryusha, Sasha
Mom, Dad! You need to fix the closet in the boys' room. He fell on his left side by himself. Children
You? Hmm. Are you overdue? lusha
Mom, Dad! We need to fix Luca's ears. She's got too many. Kiryusha, Sasha
Kids! First, stop fighting all the time. We'll fix the wardrobe in your room, but if it falls down on its own again, I'll personally fix the ears of everyone who has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Second, cutlets in the refrigerator for a week! For a week, I emphasize. If they are eaten again in one day, by the end of the week, the guilty will eat the remains of a cabinet that fell from overmaturity.
The light bulb in the bathroom is not on again. It's impossible to wash! Mommy.
Marina, don't worry, I hid all the rolls of toilet paper. anton
Dad, you better leave one in the bathroom. Sasha
Dad, you'd better screw up the light bulb! lusha
You tell me what to do, screw it in the bathroom instead of a light bulb. Dad.
Who set fire to the washcloth??? Mommy.
Who's to blame for Dad hiding all the toilet paper?
If the person who burned the last washcloth yesterday doesn’t screw a new light bulb in the bathroom and buy a new washcloth with his pocket money, all children will be deprived of pocket money for a week. Dad.
Is that what I did??? lusha
Dad, I changed the light bulb in the bathroom. Sasha
Dad, I changed the light bulb in the bathroom. Kiryusha
Damn, was that a new light bulb? Sasha
Didn't you notice? Kiryusha
He was busy - he was burning a new washcloth.
Kids! Another burnt washcloth, and I can't vouch for myself. Mommy.
Mommy, I bought five washcloths today. Sasha
It's not true, eight, but I left three in the boys' room. Burn? lusha
Mom, the boys poured water on my bed! lusha
Good work. I don't need any jabs in the house. By the way, who cracked the kitchen sink? Dad.
Kirka! If you unscrew my microscope again on your stupid optical experiments, I'll strangle you! Sasha
Sanya, brother! I didn't take that cross!! Kiryusha, outraged
You didn't? Who took it? Sasha, confused.
Trust him more, heh. Lusha is wise.
Marina, please tie my tie for tomorrow. Love it. anton
Antosha, tied ties hang in the closet on the right. Take one from there. I love it. marina
Marisha, there are no ties tied in the closet! I don't get it. anton
Marisha, there are no ties in the closet at all!! You're so damned. anton
Antosha, don't worry. I got this. marina
Mom, we won't do it again! Kiryusha, Sasha
Mom, we're really not gonna do it anymore! Kiryusha, Sasha
Mom, I won't do it again either... lusha
Anton, I bought you a new tie. Love it. marina
Marina, it's blue!!! Outraged. anton
Dad, blue looks good on you, honestly! lusha
Lyudmila, have a conscience! Give me Dad's burgundy tie! Kiryusha
Give him three brown ones first. And burgundy is too convenient to paint, and it is no longer there. lusha
I need brown. They're just the right length. Kiryusha
Marina, please make me a harder belt for tomorrow. You can't live like this. anton
Antosha, I bought you three new ties. Two brown and burgundy. Sorry. marina
Dad, I screwed a new light bulb in the bathroom. Take it easy. Kiryusha
Dad, I fixed the toilet door handle and peeled the potatoes. Sasha
Dad, I love you! lusha
Antosha, it's gonna be hot for dinner tonight. Your favorite. marina
Alexander! I solemnly warn you! Another rat in the fridge and you move to the zoo! Dad.
Dad, rats go bad in the room! Sasha
Alexander! I don't care how fast the rats go!! Dad.
Dad, you're wrong. Sasha
Dad, you have no respect for science. You're renegade. Kiryusha
Kirill! You have no respect for your father! Dad.
Antosha, but there are no rats in the fridge. marina
And thank God. Shut it down. anton
Mom, the boys were playing badminton in the hallway again. Now you have to fix the lampshade, and the boys have brains in their heads. lusha
Yabeda. Sasha
Brains should not be repaired, but replaced, and not us, but Lyuska. Kiryusha
You can't replace what doesn't exist. Sasha
Mom, I'm leaving the house!!! lusha
Lushenka, honey, don't go anywhere. I have always dreamed of having a daughter. Mommy.
Help? Sasha
What about us??? Kiryusha
You're the first pancake. lusha
Kids, don't fight. Mommy.
Anyone who put my winter slippers somewhere will answer with all severity. Dad.
Antosha, I used to dry clean them. They're already there, waiting for you. marina
Why would you wear dry cleaning shoes?? I don't get it. anton
Dad, there are things you don't want to know. But the boys swore they wouldn't be anymore. lusha
Lyudmila, another setup, and you'll live in the fridge instead of a rat! Dad's gonna love it. Kiryusha, Sasha
Marina, the slippers are stiff and smell like something. What was that? anton
Antosha, I bought you new slippers. The same as the old ones, only softer and odorless. The main thing is peace in the family. marina
I was told at school yesterday that I was ugly. Is that true? Lusha.
Lyushka, tell me who said it. We’ll talk to him and he won’t care if you’re beautiful or not. Sasha
Luciandia, you're a copy of your mother. Our mother is beautiful, only a blind man may not notice. Kiryusha
Lusha, have you done your homework yet? Dad.
Lyushenka, you will be a very interesting woman. You'll see. And whoever says you're ugly just doesn't know anything about female beauty. Mama, can we clean his snout? Sasha
Alexander, "snout" is an unintelligent word. Dad.
Antosha, do you think Lusha is ugly? marina
Marisha, Lyushka - you look like a young man. I can't resist that look. I think the comments are superfluous. anton
Convincing. (unsigned)
Lyushenka, when you finish using my lipstick, please put it back. Thanks. Mommy.
Mom, we need money. Ready to do some housework. Kiryusha, Sasha
Marina, don't do it! They'll spend it on rats. anton
These are not rats, they are material for scientific experiments. Kiryusha
Marina, I'm not ready to live in a lab. anton
Antosha, don't worry. I checked, the money's for something else. marina
Mom, I washed all the floors, cleaned the closet and washed the bathtub. Sasha
Mom, I cleaned the balcony and fixed the bathroom mirror. Kiryusha
Why would you fix a mirror? It was whole! lusha
Lushka, this is the last warning! Kiryusha, Sasha
Boys, the money's on the table, don't forget to wash the dishes. Kiss everyone. Mommy.
Marina, what happened? Nothing has broken in the house in the last three days! I looked in the refrigerator, it was full of food. I checked the light bulb in the bathroom - it's burning. Dust wiped, dishes washed. What is it? Confess or it'll get worse. Dad.
Antosha, we have beautiful children. marina
Dad, don't worry. Today, for example, I accidentally broke your favorite cup. lusha
I wish it had been accidentally smashed by your brother Kirill.
I'd be more comfortable - that would mean he's not up to anything. Dad.
Nobody loves me! Lusha. Gone to beat the cups.
Lyudmila, stop beating the dishes! I take it back. Dad.
Same thing. Look, it's gonna get worse.
MAAAMA!!! PAAAAAPA!!! I have a rat under my bed!!! A LOT!!! (unsigned)
Lyuska, don't worry, they're frozen in a portable refrigerator. They won't spoil. Kiryusha, Sasha
Marina, we have rats under our bed too! Also frozen and in the fridge! What do we do? anton
What's there to do? They told you they're in the fridge, they won't spoil. Marina. Tired.
Kids! If there's one frozen rat left in the house by tomorrow, I'll personally strangle everyone. Dad.
One will stay. You won't let me throw it away.
You want us to defrost them? Sasha
Antosha, don't worry, please. Rats are fresh, they don't smell. Boys need them for biology experiments. The boys promise to throw everything away immediately after the experiments stop. marina
Marina, they can throw it away. The experiments are over; I am stopping them.
I hate dead rats. anton
Mommy, there are no dead rats in the house anymore. The boys threw everything away, I saw it. lusha
Well, well. Dad.
Anton, we have beautiful children. marina
Marina, I'm being called to school! Sasha beat up a classmate. Walk? anton
Dad, that goat called Kirk a stink and stole his sneakers. Sasha
Why wasn't Kirk hitting him? Dad.
Both of them. marina
I'm not going to school. anton
Well done. There are more interesting things in life than going to school.
Marina! I was walking down the hall and a rat crossed my path! Alive! anton
Daddy, you said you hated dead rats. Kiryusha, Sasha
Marina, I'll kill them. I promise. anton
I'm going to the resort for a month. I can't take it anymore. Don't miss me. Mama Marina.
Marina, no! I'll hang myself! anton
Marina, I bought groceries and washed the balcony. anton
Marina, I will never wear a tie again in my life. anton
Marina, I will never raise my voice to children again in my life. Marina, I agree to eat pasta for a year. Marina, I love rats. Anton-inconsolable
Mommy, don't go! We got all the rats back from where we got them. Kiryusha, Sasha
Mom, I put your mascara back, there's a lot left. lusha
Mom, I bought you a new lipstick instead of your old one. It's the same, only better, because it still has lipstick. lusha
Mom, I realized you're right, your new sweatshirt suits you better than I do. lusha
Mom, you can store patties in a portable refrigerator. Lots. Kiryush, Sasha Marina, we vacuumed the carpet and washed the windows. Anton, kids.
Slimes. We got it. But keep in mind: another nuisance - any! - and I've been skiing for a month. No, two months. Mama Marina.
Marina, I love you. anton
Mommy, we love you. Kiryusha, Sasha
Mom, you're doing great. lusha
Antosha, you see, I told you, we have beautiful children. marina
Who blew the bathroom light again? It's impossible to wash! Dad.
Why not? You can set your toothbrush on fire. It burns beautifully. Kiryusha, Sasha
And the toilet paper roll still burns better.