How to say extra -10 receptions

 

Leo Tolstoy said that "people are learning how to speak, but the main science – how and when to be silent". And this realization should start as early as possible. No wonder the Chinese proverb says: "do Not say, if it does not change the silence for the better."

How often do we say something it was better to remain silent. Or give in to impulse and say is not what actually wanted to say.A simple rule of thumb is to exhale and count to 10 helps stop initial desire, but in the future unspoken can lie heavy and hard to spoil the cheerful mood. We counted to 10 and found 10 ways that will help not just keep quiet, and learn to be restrained without harm to themselves and others.

1. Developing pragmatism

To throw out the aggression or, as they say, to thwart evil, would be useful, otherwise we would not even felt the urge to respond to what we don't like. That's OK, because all real people, but is this benefit that we seek in the end? Unlikely. In the moral fight we harming themselves and those with whom you quarrel, and break down easier and faster than recover. When the focus of attention is the main, rather than short-term use, blurt out something inappropriate does not come to mind. After all, courtesy and tact recover quickly when we suddenly becomes clear that a loved one may be disappointed, the manual is fine, and friends – to deprive of communication and mutual assistance.

2. Delayed razgovaraju method is very similar to the previous one, but it is necessary to postpone for much longer. Especially when a serious conversation and decision you will have to make will affect the rest of your life. Proposal for a new work, the need to take sides in the conflict, have a serious conversation with husband. Resist the first impulse and do not rush to put all points over "i". Let your head cool down and weigh the pros and cons and only then make and articulate a decision.

3. "Undress" sobesednikom we can give heard an entirely different meaning – less valuable to us. In this sense, "strip" means to remove aggressor shell importance, to reduce the pedestal and to "dress" it easier. This method works well when you'd like to meet the chief-the petty tyrant on his stupidity, but you know what it will cost you workplace. Imagine how ridiculous it will look on the beach in a blue bathing suit with a paunch at the ready. How can such a person be taken seriously and argue with him? Let shakes the air alone, and you enjoy playing their own imagination.

4. Pubescence breathe a few deep breaths when you realize that the other person has already brought you to the boiling point and you're ready to break. Breathe before you start to scold the child for untidy room, or before you tell a friend a new rumor. Deep breathing calms and nourishes the brain with oxygen, altering the physical condition of the body. This will help to settle down a bit and reconsider.

5. Change places with vitalitat method will help in dealing with children when you just want to grab the Joker by the collar and to arrange a beating for his antics. Imagine that it's you, not him, just smashed a flowerpot and threw a stone at the neighbor's window. Remember how the heart skips a beat when parental wrath that is about to fall down on your head. Perhaps after a few minutes of memories you will want to find a different way of parenting than yelling and swearing.

6. Follow the folk wisdom,"Bite my tongue", "tongue-tied". It is accepted that these expressions are talking about the silence in a figurative sense. Why not try to realize their intended value? Of course, every time you grab a glass of water a little weird. But quietly to bite to itself tongue. Our brain is designed so that it instantly switches to physical pain, oblivious to all other stimuli. Business negotiations often use normal office elastic band. Wear it on your wrist and hide under cuffs. In the moments when you need to take a pause and once again ponder the important moment, the man quietly pulls the elastic band which uncomfortable sticking to my skin. Thus, the attention shifts to the physical sensations and the decision is not taken hastily.

7. Train videoikony the sins of incontinence, work on solving constantly. If you stepped foot on the bus, cursed in the queue, got nasty in the store, keep silent. Even if the temptation to put the insolent in place is too large, and a small flash of aggression will not harm your reputation, in any case do not let the anger go. Help now, you can hold it in when necessary. You will learn to control your emotions and language, so he couldn't spill over into the enemy camp.

8. Speaks to themselves sabaw psychology there is such concept, as the affirmation – a phrase that contains a certain formula and helps to strengthen the necessary in our subconscious. Remember, as the heroine Irina Muravyova repeated in front of the mirror about the most charming and attractive? So this trick works for talkers. Select your "mantra" and repeating it from time to time or when you just want to Express everything that had accumulated. For example, let it be: "I know when to stop, I can remain silent at the right time" or "I can control my words." Over time, this statement will work, and you do learn to control themselves.

9. Analyzed atacak rule, our behavior is quite predictable. Break we're in very similar situations. Analyze unpleasant moments that you really had to endure and try to understand what exactly brings you out of balance. Perhaps this dismissive tone in-law and everything that resembles it, or some resentment that stretches from childhood. Must be something in common and similar in all cases. Well, when you already know the "enemy" in the person dealing with it much easier.

10. Use filtrative a rule to "sift" all you are going to say. Think of at least three criteria, which must match any of your messages. For example, words should not harm another person, secondly, you must be fully confident in their veracity and, thirdly, they are really necessary or not will be meaningless prattle. And only after thought will be similar to triple-check, make it in it, otherwise, it can be not only senseless but harmful.

 

Source: domashniy.ru/