© Andre Kohn
"I hate my husband," said the client for the constellation group. "I don't just hate him, I'm afraid sooner or later can cause him physical harm...". She was in despair.
With this request the woman applied already to many psychologists and psychotherapists. She "wrote out", "shouted" your anger, buy a punching bag, went into the woods (turns out she was advised to "heel in" their aggression at the very large tree.) Went on breathing techniques, had a body-oriented therapist and even tried to use a Voodoo doll...
For some time, do relief came, but then it all came back. And if earlier for her uncontrolled anger needed was the smell of alcohol from her husband or some, in her opinion, a good reason, but now it was quite unclosed cap on the toothpaste tube or the shuffling of his Slippers in the corridor.
In the balance the Vice of anger, and stood on a grandmothers place the client in the interview process it became clear that my grandmother was indeed a very difficult woman's fate. Husband at years beat and cheated on her, abused children.
The woman could not show their feelings as they could not protect themselves and their children. She suffered and continued to suffer. So the system was superseded by a tremendous sense of aggression and anger. And granddaughter however unwittingly “took” this and “splashed” in relations with her husband.
Ristanovski call this the dynamics of the double offset. Nothing surprising in the fact that all previous attempts to get rid of anger were unsuccessful. The work was aimed at a symptom, at the time when the decision at this level is simply not available.
On a deep unconscious level we are "interwoven" into his family, our destinies connected by invisible threads with the fates of our ancestors. The majority of life scenarios that we face moving from parents to children, and the roots of our current problems often lie deep in the family!
The feelings that arise in family and kinship relations, timeless, they can be passed "by inheritance" and to define our lives here and now. Even missing (because of death, for example) there are energy and affect the rest of the family. Sometimes come after, i.e. children and grandchildren, are not even aware of the fact that losing someone else's life, someone else's script.
The solution here was to see the plight of his grandmother, to thank her for what she was able to resist and to survive. Ask for permission no matter what love of his grandfather, to take his life for this price and to agree that up to this time she had woven into it too, and that she agrees with all this as it is, so the past could remain the past.
Therefore, the arrangement makes it possible to see the root of the problem, which is inside of a generic system that allows the system to be free from entanglements and restore basic order.
For this client placement really was healing. Already in the process of the work itself was visible, as her body went limp, unclenched fists. When she cried, Deputy her husband came to her and gently hugged her, the first woman, as if from a deep dream he saw, his eyes that watched her with love.
All she could say, “I'm sorry, I'm confused”. And then he added: “there is much I owe you”... published
Source: ishchenko.pro/ya nenavizhu-svoego-muzha/