There is a story about meeting his wife and mistress of one man. They began to discuss it, and my wife said:
- He's a fool, a miser and scoundrel. I do not understand why you're with him vodishsya!
- You have no right - said the mistress - he schedrets and wise, and brave! Judge for itself: every holiday brings me luxury gifts - that ring, and a fur coat and the car
- That's really true! - Outraged wife - He told me even colors for the holidays does not give, it does not give a salary! He is still the miser!
- No! - Retorted the mistress. - He is a wise man, always so interesting to talk with him. He read a lot, knows a lot about everything has its own opinion. I love to listen to him - so much new know
- If you say too! - He grinned wife. - He always carries some nonsense and nonsense! Even listening to disgusting! A scoundrel what! Do not stand up for me, will not meet at night, as repairs to do - so it disappears, and I myself !!!
- We like talking about different men - smiled mistress. - Three days ago, he fought for me, even the guy who called me. Never give anything to carry heavier bouquet of flowers. Even at home I have all the nails he hammered, laid flooring, tile ... I'm telling you, he schedrets, wise and brave!
And because each of these rights. Because one of them a man behaves in a way that looks like a scoundrel, and on the other - it is a brave man. Although the man -. The same
This story shows how much influence a woman to the man. One and the same man may differ dramatically, depending on who is next to him.
I know examples of alcoholics in the first marriage and successful businessmen - in the second. And vice versa - I saw successful men, who left his first wife for a young girl. After a couple of years, they have lost everything and became drinking idlers.
Why is this happening?
Because the power of women is huge. And its influence on man is boundless. In fact, the woman "makes" man. It reveals in it some quality and some cures. Most often it operates unconsciously.
Generic scenarios and the experience of his family. If your wife's dad was a success, she unknowingly helps you achieve success (it is a picture in front of the eyes). And if dad was a loser, or drank a lot - it is an unconscious pattern will lead to the collapse of the family
The problem is that women do not realize their strength and do not pay enough attention to their thoughts and actions. Not aware of its strength and opportunities of influence on her husband. If we knew that they were born with a magic wand, it is unlikely we began to swing it in vain, and ordered all the small stuff, the truth is?
Let's look at that woman can do with her husband, as it may affect his character and actions.
Let's start with the negative impact of
As the wife thinks about her husband, so he becomes. He sees in it only the flaws and imperfections - they multiply every day. And then even the man who has a great potential to be a good husband, becomes an ordinary family of horned animals kozlyachih.
If the wife does not respect her husband, no one respects. Neither relatives nor friends nor colleagues. We can say that the wife on the forehead of her husband wrote a kind of word that characterizes it. And according to this line with him begin to build other people relations. So without thinking wife write some crap permanent marker, and then surprised ...
If the wife does not trust her husband and does not open his heart - he trusts no one. Even if he is fully worthy of such trust, still it will always doubt everything. And what is already here increases or new perspectives!
If the wife is always dissatisfied with everything, the family all become the same unmet. They will be flat not the same, and not the dinner, and clothing, and recreation. Even parents will not seem quite so, as it should.
If the wife thinks that could be a better husband to find, this is the first step to change men. It is said that the first change is always a woman. However, it does just mentally - and catch her in this difficult. A man changes already physically after his wife gave him a "permission" his thoughts on what he is not the best.
If the wife is stingy heart is not willing to serve her husband, his warm love and square, he is searching for solace in alcohol and drugs.
If the wife does not allow her husband to engage in men's business - socializing with friends, fishing, garages and other women's opinion of nonsense, a man looking for a different holiday - in alcohol, computer games, smoking and others are not the most joyful things
If she does not open her husband heart, he becomes greedy. And then he and the winter snow did not beg, let alone flowers on March 8. At that time, when a woman closes her husband access to his heart, he closes it access to your wallet.
If the wife is too self - all by herself and did not need the husband becomes irresponsible. Even before that, he answered quite well not only for himself, he seemed to lose this skill, relaxes and heals with a sofa.
If touchy wife, the husband is angry will. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. If the wife is mentally unfaithful to her husband, it will be stingy. And why would he spend money on a woman who is not today, then tomorrow will find another and go?
If the wife does not obey her husband, constantly arguing and balk, then the husband will cease to be a man. It becomes irresponsible and scatty, weak and "no».
If the wife regularly commits violence against her husband - for example, "he makes the brain" or shouting at him, insult and so on, then the man will be two options. Either he becomes submissive henpecked, with fully broken will and the male ego. Either he too begins to do violence to his wife - often physically
If a woman is too active in external activities, the husband becomes a passive appendage to the TV. Although previously it could be quite a successful businessman.
But there is a downside!
If the wife sees her husband in good quality and makes them the focus - they begin to grow and multiply. Even if it had no reason to. Even if he was not supposed to be in charge - so it becomes. Not to be chief - and suddenly becomes. And so on.
If the wife respects her husband, his start for some reason, dear friends and colleagues. They support him and help in difficult situations.
If the wife trusts her husband - he is trusted by other people
If the wife does not hide anything from her husband, does not deceive, he opens his heart - that her husband will not be able to deceive his wife and change her
If the wife is the husband opens the heart, he becomes generous. He starts to look for excuses himself to please her and make her even happier.
If the wife is her husband sincerely - it is with great pleasure take her under his protection. Will take care of and protect her from everything.
If the wife is to be sensitive to her husband's temperament and try to satisfy him - the husband for her swerve mountains. To do this, you need to learn to see the quality of her husband and not to measure its own stereotypes.
If the wife wants to keep the family together, and sincerely in love applies to women of their efforts, in the heart of man is born the same desire, and he begins to help in this matter to his wife.
This is the most important thing that I want you to hear. If your husband is something you do not like - Find the reason for this confidence. And this work is to put time and effort. What would I if I were a man? - Sure you want to know? - Then take a look at her husband. That was and would be. He lacks masculine qualities as well as you do not have enough women.
For example, the husband drinking beer. Then your main job - is the adoption. Adoption of the fact that he has the right to ruin his health, if he wants to. And it is likely to talk about your emotional dryness in a relationship with him. Perhaps he lacks support and encouragement.
Or the husband does not want to work. Then, perhaps, you are working too hard, and it absolutely does not listen. And what's the point of kicking him and writing to the interview? Even if he goes there with that mindset it will not last long. Therefore, we must change ourselves.
Why does a man lying on the couch? Because it pushes back a woman in a stress. It is worn like a meteor near, sweeping away everything in its path, and to stay alive, he masquerades as a cape on the sofa.
If your husband does not help you with the children - think, and whether you think its a good father, a worthy addition to the kids loved it on par with you? And will not turn it on if you care, pointing out that ass kid, he washed the bad, and the bottle again boil?
God gives us as much as we deserved. Our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters - they are we can not choose. So you have to learn to accept. But with their husbands in a different way. There is an illusion of choice. There is a feeling that I could be different, better.
But this is only the appearance of choice. Spouses also gives us God. Otherwise, how would we met and fell in love with each other? As much as we have found each other in the crowd and pulled?
And since God has given you a husband, then it is this and you have earned. And that's why, and why - this is already worth thinking about. And what to do next - it is your choice and your room for creativity
Take care of each other!
You can always blame each other and look for the mote in the eye of a spouse. And you can have the courage to look into the eyes of their own logs.
Author: Olga Valyaeva