Why can not I not only speak ill of her husband, but also to think.
Once on the Internet I came across these words: "As a woman thinks of the man, so he becomes. The striking thing. So vsegdabyvaet. And nothing can be done. This is the secret of some kind, you know? Women's strength is so strong, it acts so subtly, that nothing can be done. If a woman thinks you jerk, you become worthless. The terrible force destructive. On the other hand, the woman said: "Very good. I need a man. This is my man, "- once, he immediately changed, starts to blossom." Oleg Torsunov.
And I wondered. I thought for a long time, some moments lived in your life. And now I decided to share with you these thoughts:
he is a loser,
he can not be trusted,
it is no matter what is not capable,
he does not work,
I can do better,
it must change,
it has many shortcomings.
This list can be endless, if you do not stop in time. In this list we are constantly sharing with her friends, with her mother, and if they do not share, it scrolls continuously in his head.
Why are we doing this?
- We think that we can change it, and then immediately change our lives, and we will be good, loving, gentle. Just let it stop at first to play the computer will start to earn as much as I want to invite somewhere, give something. Let change.
We are waiting for change from a man just because stuck in childhood and do not want to look at yourself and your life. It is very naive dream - to think that if a man will correct its flaws, I'm happy. Looping on the other person's shortcomings allows you to sit and solve their own problems. Discussing another, we do not look at ourselves. On the disadvantages and problems to look harder and more painful, and to be honest with yourself, you have to correct them. It is easier to do the correction of the shortcomings of her husband, and how sweet to complain about it to others and get the approval of others. I - good, bad -. He
- Condemning the husband, we rise above it, we feel better and smarter. We do not know how else to deserve attention. We do not have enough self-recognition. Towering, we get, so approval.
- We know that criticize and say bad words to her husband do not want us to teach this to all pages of the internet and magazines, it will take to find a lover. When we are ill, and we have the soul cat scratch, we think about it in the least. We need to throw out the negative. We can not keep it in your mind and look for it, to whom you can pour out.
- We complain and talk about her husband, because we want to be spared, supported, we do not feel a force of an adult, we have nothing to rely on inside. We do not know what to do with a sense of powerlessness. We do not know how to change their lives independently. We are going to "draw" on the other, in the hope that they will change our lives. Very naive and children's performances, whether?
- If we complain about her husband's girlfriend or mother, we are trying to shield themselves and gain their support. It's a children's self-deception.
- Talking to him or about him, that he was so bad, we subconsciously want him to take revenge for the fact that it does not make us happy. Thus, we block the internal flow of energy to her husband and does not support it. "You're bad - here and let nothing get you!". And when he does anything wrong, we are even more angry and offended at him. And get into a vicious circle.
What does it lead?
- When a woman says or thinks about the bad man, she did not respect, it is moving away from it in the mind, it does not support it energetically. It all goes wrong, things do not add up, money is not earned, he bought a relaxing drink, and of course we are even more convinced that he was right, that he was not worthy of respect. We enter into a vicious circle. Man is powerless in this situation something to change.
- If you do not stop, you can always find what to criticize. It is bad practice - we think bad, bad talk girlfriends, mom and further convince ourselves of the correctness, thus destroying not only relationships but also themselves
- It undermines the nervous system, coarsens the woman's heart, we poison his soul, pollute his body negativity and evil. And yet at the same store and pass it on.
- The negative thoughts take a huge amount of energy. Women's participation, feminine energy, feminine approval for the men - the fuel for all the accomplishments and achievements. When a woman thinks about the bad husband, he has no chance to succeed and be good for you.
- Women who do not respect her husband, show it to your children. Now, remember, and answer the question:
Your mother respected your dad? How do you understand this? Just feel. Children do not need to explain anything and tell, they always know, and if you do not respect her husband:
children do not learn, they thus protesting;
They do not listen to you, rude, rude;
do the opposite, associated with bad companies begin to develop bad habits;
they can not create a relationship in the future.
In disrespect to her husband the high price.
- Discussing her husband with others, you'll get a lot of advice: that "he will not pair", that "the need to get a divorce." After all, these discussions did not you listen to yourself and not your heart. You listen to other people.
I had a friend who was discussing her husband with his girlfriend, including intimate life. A friend gave advice, it is better to stop with her husband at all enter into an intimate relationship. What a surprise it was my friend that this friend of her and her husband for 4 years as lovers. Do you think that this only happens in the series?
- When you discuss her husband with her mother, you thereby retain a strong invisible bond with her, you remain a child. You go against her husband, teaming up with his mother, you in some sense betrayed him. Mom always spare the child and the abuser scold. But it will give you? What mom cease to respect your husband. And then you have to restore to her his authority and his status. Be honest - if it is bad, go away from him and live with my mother
- You share with a friend, hoping to get support and encouragement, and these details will go on by word of mouth, and it will tell you about, and away we go. Your name is too good not to stay. Should I do it? Or are you naive to assume that a friend is silent, as a partisan?
- When you talk bad about her husband, you think you are better. You cultivate their pride. When a woman does not speak about her husband, she breaks the invisible connection and begins to live a separate life. At this point there is no family. The husband begins to live their separate lives. You feel it and start to hedge and prepare for dying the way. And then a dumb question? Why is the relationship did not work out. And we have become a domestic partner? This will write a separate article, so as not to miss subscribe to.
- Accusing her husband, we unconsciously provoke it on the "bad" behavior. We do not need and that it has changed. Then we will do one guilty?
- Any negative thoughts about yourself a man reads, he realizes that it is more for you not a man dreams that he is more for you does not mean anything, and you no longer love him, he lies down on the couch and begins to take revenge on you. Again, we enter into a vicious circle. On the couch, he hears a lot more about yourself what you do not know, and we hope to raise it to the exploits.
What to do?
- It is important to not only stop talking bad about her husband, but also to stop thinking about him bad. Even if we do not utter his thoughts aloud, they still affect the reality, as well as words. All the activities of the women inside, in her mind, is its strength. Even if you stop complaining about her husband, but continue to think of him as a loser, no changes will be, everything will remain as before. That's what I always lost sight of.
- Give up the dream of the perfect partner. This dream is so deeply seated in us, that is not easy to give up on her. But to have to move on, no matter how it was difficult and sad. Start necessary with itself. Why it is so life works. Beat can be long on the changes of another, but it's worth a little bit to let the idea, improved mood, and the world is beginning to change, as if by magic.
The desire of the ideal - it's always a subconscious desire for the perfect parent. This desire makes to stand still and wait for "the sea weather." What do you think will be the perfect man? Discard the expectations of what should be a partner, it has to do much to earn. These expectations are nothing but pain and frustration do not bring.
- When you stop talking bad about the man you broke up with the idea to change it. So, you take it for what it is. You have to understand that it is not in man's task is variability. The man - not clay. This woman has to change. That she should cultivate such qualities as flexibility and softness.
- Never discuss with friends of her husband, they see the situation only your eyes, come only from "your interests". They are unable to see the true picture and give the right advice. Their advice wrong. Then why ask for advice? And if a friend is not married? Subconsciously, it will seek to ensure that you, too, were free and alone. This is what I will write a separate article.
- Remember, the woman that discusses her husband with her friends - a child. Rather than send the feminine energy to her husband and to talk with him, she "pours" it to her friend.
- If you think of a man is bad, it should be a signal that there is something in you and in your life, what you do not want to watch.
"All that we see in another, there is in us. The fact that we have inside, we can see from the outside. All that at the sight of another echo in our feelings, in our present energy. The first step is to change - to translate a look at yourself. " Maria Rakitin.
- Start to track your thoughts. Once you start to think badly of her husband, it means that you feel bad, you let some negative thoughts to enter into you, and so you want to shift the blame for his misfortune on him. Celebrate these moments and sheer will stop yourself indulge in passing the buck. How much do you already years? It's time to grow up.
- Stop being a victim
- Learn to respect your man, he will start to broadcast it to the world, it will begin to respect other people. Begin to feel its importance, it will give him confidence and strength. The question of its success will be a matter of time. When a woman sees a man's dignity - it makes a man, he grows wings, luck comes to him, it all turns out. He will never lie on the couch.
A man can not produce happiness, he can only get it from a woman, from her love, respect and recognition of his merits and virtues.
Author: Tatiana Dzutseva