10 Commandments for husband





1. The exhibit strength of character and tenderness toward his wife

Every woman, regardless of its degree of confidence, needs a man who can be relied on, to which she herself did not have to be the head. She needs a strong and gentle at the same time her husband.

The Bible teaches husbands to treat their wives as a "weaker vessel." What is this "impotence", because women live longer than men by about eight years old, get sick less, according to statistics, infant mortality among boys is higher than among girls? Women are weaker than men and are more vulnerable in the emotional sphere, they are easier to offend and insult, which is why women are so necessary combination of strength and tenderness from her husband. Tenderness men manifests itself in the care of his wife, caring for her, and the power is expressed in strength of character, in a bold vision of the future, when the man does not quail in the face of difficulties, and assures his wife: "Trust me, we shall overcome, everything will be fine ". Woman is also waiting for the man of action in problem situations, she likes when he is able to make decisions and take responsibility for them.

2. Constantly praise his wife

Women are by nature less confident than men. This is partly explained by the fact that the modern woman have too many responsibilities: life, children often work full time, taking care of elderly parents, etc. And since it is emotionally vulnerable, she, like air, constant words of encouragement and praise.

Almost every wife asks her husband: "Do you love me?" Not just on the eve of the wedding, but after five or ten years of marriage, a woman asks this question is not what has suspected her husband of infidelity, or felt his indifference, but to make sure its love again and again. She need not "information" and confirm.

Men irritates a question: "Does the fact that I bring a salary every month, I spend with her every night, never left her, not a sign of my love for her? I told you this on your wedding day! After all, I do not expect every day of praise from the head, and just try to cope well with their responsibilities. Why do women need this sentiment? "Yes, because they work in a different way! Accept it as a fact and begin to praise his wife at every opportunity!

You may ask: "Is it not hypocrisy to admire her actions, I do not feel that what I'm saying?" No, noticing the good in people - not hypocrisy. Over time you will find that the feelings correspond to the words and you will be quite sincerely admire that and how does his wife.

3. share her responsibilities

In the relationship between husband and wife should be the allocation of responsibilities. Since you're both grown and reared in different families with different traditions, is getting married, you will encounter unexpected "tricks" to each other. For example, in his wife's family always throw garbage father, and her husband's family it was the responsibility of the mother. How to be a new family? Often, the spouses of the smallest on disputes and even scandals. Therefore, the Treaty establishing your own "traditions". Newlyweds better to abandon the example of their parents and begin actively "adjust" to each other, to give and to help his wife and not to defend its position.

Christian marriage is based on the basic installation, "A man will leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." (Gen. 2: 24). Experience shows that the most difficult is the implementation of the first part - "leave his father and mother." There simply is not enough to move out of his parents' house in a separate apartment, although this is also important. Parental leave samples shall be on an emotional level and at the level of comparisons, because she wants to see in his chosen ideal traits of the father, and the boy in his beloved - ideal traits of the mother. We all have a tendency to compare the couple with their parents, "Mom always washed my clothes, and you do not want," "My dad always bought products and you make it do me," "Mom every morning fed me soup, and you offer me muesli with milk "," the pope himself collecting cabinets and shelves, and you do not know how! »

Also, there is a lot of small issues: who will manage the money, decide where to go on vacation, call the plumber, take the kids to school, wash the car, engage wash ... In marriage, there is a collision, "incompatible" interests of the two kinds of people - how to bring them into line ? Husband selfish claims that he, as head of the family has the right to "final vote" in large and in small matters. But this - the position is very insecure man who lords over his wife and children, is approved as a "head." In this case, the "primacy" for him is unconditional submission to members of the family.

However, the most reasonable solution - let the right "final vote" in dealing with any matter has someone who is better versed in it.

Male self-fulfilling in the first place, in work, and his wife - in the creation of home comfort. For the wife home - is its "fortress", it holds it longer than her husband (at least during maternity leave), more ready, so the kitchen - it's her "territory" and the wise man will listen to the wishes of his wife in the design of the house. Choosing wall colors, furniture placement, colors and so on. D., And so on. N. - Give these issues a woman!

4. Do not criticize

My husband is constantly criticizing his wife, will cause many negative effects:

• The wife may be depressed.

• Negative emotions and stress can cause her various physical ailments.

• She may be angry, closed or frigid.

• cease to respect themselves.

• Will pour out their pain and hurt children.

• decides to divorce.

Constant criticism is always devastating, but there is a positive way in which it is possible to make changes in the relationship. No communication is not without criticism, but less than her, the happier the marriage will be. We should not suppress their negative emotions, most importantly - to learn how to pour them. Here are two ways to express their discontent: "I'm tired of every day there is a potato with sausages! You have that fantasy is not enough? "Or," Honey, you're so good cook, I love it! As children we are constantly eating the same thing and I always dreamed that my wife would often cook different delicious things. I would love to make this dream come true! Could you do that for me? »

So you say that you would like to change, but without its critics. Marriage certificate does not entitle a spouse to offend.

5. Remember the importance of the "little things»

Men tend to be less sentimental than women, so they do not attach much importance birthdays, anniversaries of various family events and all sorts of "stuff" that women can be very important.

Many women like surprises. One woman confessed: "If I'm going to remind her husband about the approaching anniversary of our wedding, I would be interested to celebrate with him that day. Tired of hinting to him that he should make me something special ».

Love - is not only a feeling, but also deeds, so the husband, who had forgotten about the wedding anniversary, makes "unforgivable" sin! New Year, March 8, the birthdays of his wife and children - all of these holidays should not be ignored.

Men it may seem somewhat insignificant, uninteresting, but the woman always appreciate, if you pay attention to its new hairstyle, write a love note and left it in the mirror, to invite her to the cafe ...

6. Do not ignore the needs of his wife to be with you

Of course, no two people are alike, but in general women are more willing to be next to a man than he is - with her. The point here is not about immature jealous wife who will not wish to let go of her husband, and he rolls his tantrums - a wife need help of a psychologist, as her behavior is caused by a sense of extreme insecurity.

Some husbands like to spend your free time away from home with his wife, the other from time to time needed purely male company. A husband who cherishes matrimonial relationship, will not neglect the need for his wife to be together. If the spouses have different hobbies, you must seek a compromise. This does not mean that the wife of a lifetime must do absolutely everything together. But we must respect the fact that the spouse is necessary, and to compromise. Only immature people will demand that was always the way you want it.

7. Do everything you can to wife felt safe

The feeling of safety - one of the first needs of women in marriage and it can make up for a caring, gentle, considerate husband. There are different areas in which women need to understand their husbands. For example, one woman a feeling of safety comes when her husband engaged in minor repairs on the house, helping her in moving furniture, even if it likes to frequent changes. Such concern about her husband's house convinces his wife that she did not care about him.

The other woman is a feeling arises, if a man is interested in her daily life. Maybe you do not impress the details of her day's work, but, listening to her stories, you hereby expresses its love and thus enhances its sense of security.

Some women collect something, for example, logs, recipes or houseplants. If your wife at the same time feels confident and safe, do not criticize her passion.

Some women lay their small savings. You it may seem pointless, but it thereby strengthening its sense of security. Feelings may be irrational, but that does not make them any less real and valuable. So do not let anything that gives your wife a sense of stability, unless, of course, does not suffer from the family budget.

8. Treat with understanding and patience to change the mood of his wife

The mood is changing for all people without exception, but more often in women than in men. Partly this is due to her menstrual cycle. Sometimes the behavior of a wife to her husband may seem inexplicable, unreasonable. But you need to realize that the frequent change of mood is inherent in all women. Joyful moments in life can make your wife is very happy, and sad it can plunge into depression. You may want to be married it was all smooth, calm, but his wife is behaving differently. What to do in such situations? Do not give her mood, be balanced. After all, maybe she got married you because subconsciously wanted to be as emotionally stable as you. You can become a reliable support for his wife, because such is not subject to changes of mood, like hers. So do not panic when this happens to my wife. Be kind and patient. Do not blame yourself, and, on the other hand, do not try to criticize her and call to stop acting like a spoiled child.

9. Promotion of the wife in her efforts to improve your marriage

Generally, if a woman is not satisfied in marriage, they seek the help of books, psychologists and clergy. They want to make positive changes, and it hurts self-esteem of many men, and they resist such attempts wives. Such husband is likely to refuse to read an article about raising children, offered to him and his wife as take it as a criticism. But take my advice: read this article! What have you got to lose? You may even learn something! ..

The wedding ceremony does not provide the necessary knowledge for the newlyweds married life. We all need to learn the art of family relationships. Either the husband is able to read a couple of dozen books on the subject, with the result that it is sure to become more experienced in matters of family life. If the wife asked to go along to a family conference, seminar or interview with a psychologist, do not neglect it offers. But if in his stubbornness and pride husband rejects any idea of ​​how to improve a marriage, let him not be surprised when the wife just leave him. So donate your time, do not be stubborn with his wife and builds a happy marriage. Do not be satisfied with what you have and do not tell her that it requires too much from you.

10. Find out her individual needs and endeavor to meet their

No two wives. The one where you got married, is different from all other women. At first glance, it may seem you need for endless or irrational, and you decide you never get to meet them all. But it is worth trying at least to find out what needs your wife what she wants, that he loves. And then try to meet those needs as best they could. This does not mean that you have to indulge all her selfish whims, but you must learn to accept and respect even that seems insignificant and illogical. You will see how much happier she becomes, if you do not neglect it.

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