Let's see how these droplets piling up - and maybe this will help you determine how your family is filled vessel discontent
The first stage. Irritation.
Strong concern all annoying. Wife gets nervous and starts to explode over and without. This step can take place all couples during lapping.
Where there is irritation? Since such families, men do not have faith, then there is no purpose in life. His life becomes a monotonous routine - work-home-work-home-fishing. The woman is annoying, because any woman always wants development (but someone to do it for her, and she tells you how). The man does not understand why his wife unhappy - all for her doing, working, do not walk ...
The vicious circle of the first level - he did not believe in anything and do not seek. She no longer trust him and irritated. Her confidence strengthens his disbelief.
What at this stage may be a woman? Learn to trust your husband, no matter what path he has chosen.
And then they have three ways. Someone begins to develop a relationship - and restores harmony. And someone just scatter, afraid of difficulties. And will continue to seek happiness and Prince. There are those who understand that divorce is not an option. But do not know how to develop a relationship. So they stay and suffer. But if they do not develop, then move to the second stage of the destruction of the family.
The second stage. Aggression husband and wife secrecy.
When a man or not believe in anything, the woman gradually loses its credibility. It can not be completely frank with him, can not rely on the woman's happiness. Because a truly happy woman becomes, where can open your heart.
When a woman is no longer trust her husband, she immediately begins to look for another foothold - and often in his head. A certain ideal of the man who could make her happy. It can be a dad, a brother, a former male or colleague from work. Most often at this level no physical adultery. But the very fact of change is already present. Mentally wife puts an end to her husband, believing that he is not the best option for her.
The man feels it. Even if you do not say so. He feels that female infidelity on a subtle level, and is exasperated. He becomes very aggressive, because they do not understand what is happening. The wife does not open his heart, because the heart are thought of another man. A husband can not understand the behavior of his wife. Whatever he did - it is not. Because Dad was doing differently. Or because the former man never gave her a bouquet of less than 21 roses. Or because the elder brother always washed the dishes.
Man by nature is not a telepath. So his wife, opening the heart, facilitates his life. He calms down, knowing what she was thinking and what he wants. When he does not know - the wife becomes a cat in a bag. Bomb that can jerk in any moment.
Sneak wife increases the aggressiveness of her husband, and aggression on the part of the husband increases his wife's secrecy. This becomes a vicious circle that needs to break one person. If we talk about us, the women, then at this stage we need to learn to open her husband heart, as though it may be difficult.
The third stage. Greed husband and wife lie.
When the wife ceases to be faithful to her husband - even in the mind - gradually he becomes mean and petty. He just does not want to invest in a "foreign" woman. Although the man the thoughts and voices - he feels it. With his wife, he does not belong to that it is compared, dissected. Then what for her and try to invest in it?
A wife who is faced with the pettiness of her husband, begins to lie. Starting from simple things - the cost of her dress and children's boots. Then she can deceive him about where she was going and why. She appeared their "nest egg" - and here women are more inventive than men
I remember one woman who had all the clothes her husband and children to buy Second-hand. Yet some part took with friends that she no longer needed. Then she casts adhesive tags and compose cost of the "new" shirt. The difference between what is real and gave the husband to spend, folded into their egg capsules. Potbelly kept her in the office, in a secret drawer of his desk.
The husband feels this deception, even though it's hard to explain. Therefore, it ceases to give his wife money. He begins to monitor every penny. From what his wife is even more greedy and more lies.
Again a vicious circle - is the third level. Breaking it could once again drawing attention to their shortcomings.
For women, the prescription is to tell her husband the truth. Even if the truth is not very nice. And to begin to learn to be happy with what she already has. Learn to thank her husband for what he was giving her.
The fourth stage. The brutality of the husband and wife's jealousy.
At this stage, the husband over the edge. He had foul language - and his wife, and children. He may begin to raise your hand to them in other ways to show their cruelty.
His wife at the time, having lost faith in their own happiness, it becomes gossip. She begins to live other people's lives, trying to annoy everyone, all jealous. Especially for those who have a family life develops better. She constantly criticizes all - and husband including
Envy woman if it ignites the brutality every time - and it is impossible to stop
In this situation, progress is more difficult to achieve, because each of the spouses is already in the illusion that the blame only the second side. My wife thinks that her husband was a tyrant, and she - Snow White. The husband said that his wife - snake in the grass, he cherished chest
And the most difficult at this stage - to see their disadvantage to begin to change it. For women, there need to meet with their envy. And learn how to not only criticize others, but also to begin to look for good in others. Learn wish others happiness, selflessly serve and help. This will require a lot of time, because the family is already in a deep pit. But you can get out of it.
The fifth stage. Chicanery husband and wife rough it.
As soon as it becomes rough wife - this is the first call of the deep degradation of relations. Swearing of female lips, insults and mate - it's just the fifth stage of the family crisis
Man becomes discontented in all respects. If before he could be silent on something he did not care, but now he finds fault. He looks for weaknesses wife (and look especially for a long time they do not need - all on the surface). And she constantly refers to these deficiencies - tells her about her excess weight, that it is poorly prepared and so on
For a woman to hear that from her husband - it is always painful. Here she can not hold back - and gets angry. Begins his insult, they curse frequently and very rapidly.
Once again, a vicious circle - the rougher it women, the picky husband. Hence, it is necessary to look again in your garden - and start weeding of weeds. At this stage of the weeds - speech plan. Make sure that what you say and how. Stop cursing and insulting.
The sixth stage. The husband and wife fears a failure.
At this stage, the family usually loses everything - friends, work, money, possessions. The man is completely trampled, he feels like a failure. He has developed a deep depression, begin serious problems with strong drink. At this stage, he may suddenly die.
His wife is also degraded. Now she has no strength to even out, to dream of another life. She is afraid that would be even worse without her husband. And even if now they live very badly - for example, he drinks and beats her, she does not go away. At this stage, it also begins to drink together with it. Spirits on a woman is even more harmful - it regressed faster. It can be easily accessible from the fear of being alone.
With this step, often can not be selected. This hole has such a depth that even the top of the white light is not visible.
But once you are here, most likely your business is not so bad. And maybe now you have a problem at the level of the first four stages.
The sooner we become aware of their responsibility for what is happening and to change themselves independently - the easier and easier it is to return to the family relationships of love and joy
Author: Olga Valyaeva