10 steps to self-love Louise Hay method
1. The most important point in the science of love - this is likely, the rejection of self-criticism. When we tell ourselves that nothing bad will happen, regardless of the circumstances, everything is easy to change and correct.
And when we feel that everything is bad, difficulties are encountered at every step. We are all, without exception, are changing. Every day - a new day. And today we are doing a little like yesterday. The ability to adapt and move forward, our strength lies with the flow of life. Those who grew up in dysfunctional families, often develop a sense of responsibility and an inordinate develop the habit of severe self-criticism.
Think for a moment what words you use, berating yourself? Fool, and other ugly ...
It is necessary to develop their sense of self-esteem and self-worth. Because feeling good is not enough, we always find a reason to be miserable and humiliated. Furthermore, we allow thus settle disease and pain in the body; postpone what could bring us favor; ill-treats his body, stuffed it with alcohol, drugs and "heavy" products. One way or another, but we're not confident, because we are human beings, not gods.
Let's learn not claim to own perfection. Excessive demands just have too much pressure on us and hinder see in yourself what needs healing.
Instead, we can discover their creative abilities, strictly individual character traits, to learn to respect themselves for the qualities that distinguish us from others. Each of us - has its own task, its role in the world. Analogues of them do not. And when we are determined to yourself critically, it recedes into the background, it becomes clear.
2. We need to stop scaring yourself. Many of us are terrorizing ourselves gloomy thoughts, thus only worsen the situation. From flies grows elephant. You can not live in constant expectation of something bad. We often go to bed, mentally draw a picture of an unsuccessful resolution of the problem.
It is somehow childish: baby imagines that he has a monster under the bed sits, and frightened of their own fantasies. No wonder you're at it, can not sleep. As a child, you need parents who will come and caress you. But now you have grown and know that only yourself can soothe themselves. Sick people are often afraid of himself. As a general rule, it seems the worst. They reflect on their funeral, and as a result no longer feel like a person.
The bad thoughts can ruin the relationships between people. You do not call - this immediately conclude that you have fallen out of love, and now you are sentenced to life in solitude. You feel abandoned and rejected.
The same can apply to the job. You received from someone not very flattering opinion - you immediately imagining dismissal. Thus, you create and strengthen in his own mind paralyzing thought. Remember that they represent a negative affirmations - negative statements. If you catch yourself thinking negative, podyschu any image that you would be pleased to see in its place. Maybe it will be a beautiful view, sunset, flower, sketch of the sports life, etc. Use this image as a switch whenever discover that try themselves be intimidated.
Tell yourself: "I will not think about it. I will think about the decline of roses or a yacht, or perhaps a waterfall. " Choose a nice image of you. If this exercise is done regularly, then gradually you get rid of your old habits. But it will require patience and persistence.
3. The next way - is to be gentle, tolerant and kind to yourself. Oren Arnold wrote with humor: "Dear Lord God. I pray for patience. And I want it now! "Patience! - This is a very powerful tool. Most of us suffer from the expectations of immediate rewards. We have to get it immediately. We do not have the patience to wait.
We get annoyed when you have to stand in queues. We enrage traffic jams. We want to get all the answers right this minute. And at the same time - and all good things in life. Too often, we would poison his life to other people. Impatience - this resistance cognition
We want to get the answers, do not learn the lessons and doing the necessary steps in this direction. Imagine that your consciousness - this garden. To begin with, that the garden - it land. We are there to flourish thickets of self-loathing, lie at every turn stones frustration, anger, and anxiety. It's time to trim branches of an old tree, which is called the word "fear».
Once you take it all the way, and the earth will be good. You sow seeds or plant seedlings of joy and well-being. On the ground will fall sunlight, you'll love the attention to irrigate it. First it seems that there is not anything substantial. But do not stop there, continue to take care of the garden. If you are patient, your garden will grow and flourish. The same thing is happening with consciousness. You "planting" certain thoughts. They are transformed into a garden of experiences and situations, which you so desire. But you need patience.
4. We must learn to be kind to our minds. Let us not hate yourself for negative thoughts.
It is better to think that our thoughts are more "create" rather than "destroy". We should not blame themselves unfortunate circumstances. After all, we can learn from this life experience. Be kind to yourself - it means to put an end to any accusations and insults in the address, as well as penalties. You must also learn to relax. Relaxation - a necessary condition for the establishment of an internal force
When you are frightened and tense, the energy is cut off from you. It only takes a few minutes to fully relax your body and brain. Close your eyes and for a few minutes, breathe deeply. On the exhale, you need to focus and quietly say: "I love you. Everything is fine". And you notice how much calmer start to feel. So you tell yourself that there is no need to live all the time in the tension and fear. Meditation - every day! In addition, I recommend daily lead the mind to rest and listen to the inner wisdom.
Our society has made of meditation for some mystery accessible only to initiates. However, meditate - it is extremely simple. All you have to do - well relax and have some time to himself to repeat words like "love", "peace", or any others that are relevant to you. "OM" ... That sound came to us from ancient times, I often use it in their classrooms. I think it works perfectly.
It is also possible to repeat the statement: "I love myself" or "I forgive myself" or "I am forgiven." Then, should listen to their inner feelings. Some people think that during meditation stops completely thought process. In fact, this is optional. Progress thoughts may just slow down, with nothing will hinder their free flow. Some sit with a notebook and pen in hand and write down all your negative thoughts. Thus, they make it easier to release himself from these thoughts.
When we reach the point where we can impartially observe the flow of your thoughts, noting: "It is, I fear it - anger, but the idea of love for her - something nasty, but now I think that all leave .. . "- it says that we have begun to use the inner strength and wisdom. You can meditate anywhere, anytime. Try to meditation included in your habit. Think of it as a method of concentration on a Higher Power. Thus, you establish a connection with yourself and your Inner Wisdom.
5. The next step in improving self-esteem is to learn to praise yourself.
If the criticism is destroying the inner core, the praise of his forms. Recognise your power - the Divine within you. We all - manifestations of Universal Mind. Cursing himself, you attack the power that you have created.
Start small. Tell yourself that you are beautiful. One factor is, of course, is not enough. Therefore, I repeat these words, nor spare time. Believe me, it will help. The next time when you have to do something new and unfamiliar, support yourself approved words. Allow yourself to take in life is good, without thinking about how you deserve it or not. I have already said that the belief that we are not worthy, do not let happiness into our lives. Self-destruction separates us from the desired. But what we can say about myself something good, if you believe the opposite? Think about the position you occupy in your home and in your life in general.
Have you ever felt good enough, smart, funny, nice person? For what do you live? You know, that came into this world with a purpose, and that is - do not buy a new car every few years. What are you willing to do to find yourself? Do you want to deal with affirmations, visualization, and other methods of self-healing? Are you willing to forgive? Whether you want to meditate? How serious are your intentions to change their lives for the better?
6. To love oneself - means to gain support. Go to your friends and ask for help. Please help in difficult times - is not a manifestation of weakness and strength. Many of us used to be overconfident and rely only on themselves. You do not ask for help because you do not allow your ego. But, instead of trying to get out on their own and then get mad at himself for his own weakness, it is better to ask for help.
7. Love your troubles and shortcomings. Everything negative in us, and in life in general - is only part of the grand overall plan. Part of the program of creation. Universal Mind, created mankind, can not hate us because we make mistakes or get angry at their children. Universal Mind knows that we try to go all out and support us with your love. Each of us had something wrong and make the wrong choice. However, if we are constantly punishing yourself for your mistakes, then this pattern of behavior gradually becomes a habit and from it becomes quite difficult to refuse.
At the same time, all the more difficult is to make a positive choice. If you are not tired of repeating: "I hate my job. I hate his house. I hate my illness. I hate their relationship. I still hate it, "that could not be counted for a happy life. Remember that no difficult or unpleasant situation does not arise by chance. For each of them something worthwhile. Some very good reason.
Dr. John Harrison, author of "Love your illness," believes that people should not blame themselves for their own illnesses or operations transferred by them. In fact, the need to congratulate ourselves with the disease, as it serves as a reliable tip in choosing the life path.
It should be understood that every problem has a direct bearing on our view of life: we are contributing to the creation of problems trying to control certain situations. Once this is realized, we can find a way out without damage to health.
For many people who become ill after cancer or other incurable diseases, is very characteristic inability to talk to authorities "no." Saying "no", they experience such agony, that on a subconscious level, can be conceived program of destruction that will say "no" to them.
I was acquainted with a woman who, realizing the reasons for his illness, refused to obey the requirements of the father for the first time began to live for themselves. First, it was incredibly difficult to say "no", but after a while she happily discovered that learned and that is recovering. Whatever developed our negative patterns of thinking and behavior, we can always learn in time to find a way out. That is why it is important to ask yourself the following question: "What effect will this situation? What am I out of it bear? Will my experience be positive? "We do not like to ask themselves such questions. However, if we really want to find an answer and look inside yourself, you know the truth. For example, the answer may be this: "The only way I am able to get the attention of her husband." Realizing this, you can think about how to get the same result by using other, less hazardous to health methods.
Humor - it is one of the possible recovery of funds. It helps to let go of the pain and stress and, thus, easier to survive the stressful situation. We have a hayride is given a special time for jokes. Sometimes we invite you to a "lady-smeshinku". She has a contagious laugh, that one can not be serious in her presence. You can not take everything to heart, and, in addition, the laughter has an amazing healing powers. I suggest that you often watch old comedies, when you in a bad mood.
8. Take care of your body. Treat your body as a wonderful home in which you are destined to live for some time. You would love this house, to take care of him, do not you? To begin with, you should pay attention to what you potchuete your body.
At the present time a very large widespread drugs and alcohol - the two most popular means of escape from reality. If you use drugs, it does not mean that you are worthless people. This means only one thing: you have not yet found another way to cope with their problems. Drugs beckon you: "Take us! We have a good time. " And it is true. You can find yourself in the seventh heaven. However, drugs are so much distort your reality that, ultimately, will have to pay for this terrible price.
After you have for some time taken drugs, health begins to deteriorate rapidly. First of all, the immune system suffers, leading to the development of many different diseases. In the future, you can not give up the drug. Therefore, before you take them, you need to ask yourself at that pushes you on this risky step. Maybe you have a difficult time and you want to escape? As for the permanent use and addiction, it's another story. I have never ever met a man who sincerely loved himself and, at the same time, took drugs. Drugs and alcohol - is an attempt to get rid of the feeling of inferiority that we have brought with them from childhood
When the state of narcotic intoxication passes, we feel worse than before. Moreover, we additionally take on a sense of guilt. We have yet to learn that the senses hide unnecessary. Feel - it's safe. In addition, any feelings, sooner or later take place. Further evidence of the lack of love for yourself - an unhealthy diet. We can not live without food, because it is - the fuel for our body. Without it would not have happened the development of new cells. But even if we know the basics of proper nutrition, you still use those products that are harmful to our health and lead to obesity. Even the future doctors are not taught the basics of good nutrition. Well, if a medical student he expresses the wish to get acquainted with the subject optional.
That is what is called traditional medicine, mainly based on the treatment with medication and surgery. Knowledge of the basics, you can only receive the proper nutrition on their own, at their own request. Careful attention to nutrition and your well-being - is a manifestation of self-love
If an hour after breakfast begins sleepy, ask yourself what you ate. Perhaps it was something with which your body can not cope in the morning. Pay attention to the foods that give you energy, as well as those consuming it. In this case, it is possible to operate by trial and error. In addition, it is necessary to consult a good specialist, who will answer all your questions.
9. I often emphasize the importance of working with a mirror. This is a very good way to find out what keeps us from the love of self. There are several ways of dealing with the mirror. For example, one of my favorites. In the morning it is necessary to first of all go to the mirror and say, looking at the reflection: "What can I do for you today? Что доставит тебе удовольствие и принесёт пользу?» А потом нужно внимательно прислушаться к ответу внутреннего голоса. Руководствуйтесь его советами в течение дня. Бывает, что некоторым не удается дождаться ответа. Это связано с тем, что до этого они слишком много себя ругали: внутренний голос пока еще не привык откликаться на ласковые слова, полные любви. Если в течение дня с вами происходит что-то неприятное, подойдите к зеркалу и скажите: «Я всё равно люблю тебя».
У всех событий есть начало и конец, зато ваша любовь бесконечна, и это самое главное. А если случится что-то хорошее, снова взгляните на свое отражение в зеркале и скажите: «Спасибо». Будьте признательны себе за то, что испытали счастье. Стоя перед зеркалом, можно учиться прощению. Попробуйте простить себя и других. Глядя в зеркало, можно разговаривать с теми, с кем вы не решаетесь общаться с глазу на глаз.
Можно выяснять отношения с родителями, начальством, врачами, детьми, любовниками. Можно просто говорить то, что вы боялись сказать в другой обстановке. И помните, что в конце всегда нужно просить ваших «собеседников» о любви и одобрении, потому что именно в этом вы и нуждаетесь.
Люди, которые не испытывают к себе любви, как правило, не умеют прощать. Тут прямая взаимосвязь: не простив, не полюбишь. Когда мы прощаем и отпускаем от себя обиду, то сбрасываем со своих плеч непосильную ношу и открываем сердце любви.
Доктор Джон Харрисон считает, что, простив себя и своих родителей, отпустив от себя все обиды прошлых лет, человек лечит свой организм так, как не под силу ни одному антибиотику. Нужно очень уж постараться, чтобы ваши дети перестали любить вас. Но если такое, произошло, то прощать они будут с большим трудом. Когда мы не можем простить, не можем отпустить от себя обиды, прошлое вытесняет из нашей жизни настоящее. Если же мы не живем в настоящем, то, как мы можем строить свое будущее? Старый хлам из прошлого может через некоторое время превратиться в отвратительную свалку. Очень полезно произносить перед зеркалом аффирмации.
Таким образом, вы учитесь узнавать правду о себе. Если в ответ на аффирмацию изнутри доносится сварливый голос: «Ты шутишь? It is not true. Ты этого не заслуживаешь», — считайте, что получили ценный подарок. Изменения невозможны, пока вы не узнаете, над чем именно нужно работать. Брюзжание фальшивых внутренних голосов — на самом деле ключ к обретению свободы. Ответьте на негативную установку позитивным утверждением: «Теперь я заслуживаю всех благ. Я позволяю приятным и полезным переживаниям наполнить мою жизнь». Повторяйте это утверждение, пока оно не станет частью вашей жизни.
10. И, наконец, любите себя сейчас. Не ждите, пока у вас всё начнет получаться. Вечная неудовлетворенность собой — это всего лишь привычка. Если вы можете быть довольны собою сейчас, если можете прямо сейчас любить и одобрять себя, то, значит, вы уже готовы наслаждаться теми хорошими вещами, которые станут частью вашей жизни. Научившись любить себя, вы сможете любить и принимать других. Мы не можем изменить других людей, поэтому, оставьте их в покое.
Стараясь кого-то изменить, мы тратим массу энергии. Если бы мы потратили хотя бы половину ее на себя, то были бы уже совершенно иными. И конечно, к нам бы было уже абсолютно другое отношение. Вы не можете научить кого-нибудь жить. Каждый должен сам найти собственный путь. Всё, что вам доступно, — это познать самого себя. А любовь к себе — первый шаг в этом направлении.
Она помогает устоять против разрушительных воздействий, которые могут оказывать на вас некоторые люди. Если возникнет ситуация, в которой вам придется столкнуться с человеком, настроенным против любых перемен к лучшему, то просто любите себя, любите себя по-настоящему, и судьба отведет от вас все неприятности. То, что я говорю, выгладит несколько упрощенно. Тем не менее, я готова повторять снова и снова, что самый эффективный способ избежать проблем состоит в том, чтобы любить себя такими, какие мы есть.
Я в это искренне верю. Вибрации любви, исходящие от нас, привлекут к нам любящих людей.
©Луиза Хей из книги Исцели свою жизнь