Empress Alexandra: On marriage and family life. Records, 1899

In these records, the Empress Alexandra Feodorovna contains excerpts from the works that inspired her. They were written by the Empress in September, 1899, 5 years after her wedding, when she already had three daughters.

It will be interesting to pay attention to some underlining in the text made by the author.

No wonder the Emperor so ardently and tenderly loved his wife, was glad of any opportunity to forget in a family setting about their government cares and are happy to surrender to the petty domestic interests, which generally harbored a natural inclination.




The meaning of marriage is to bring joy. It is implied that married life life is the most happy, full, clean, rich. This setting of the Lord of perfection.The divine plan therefore is to have marriage bring happiness, to make life of husband and wife more fully below, none of them lost and both won. If the marriage does not bring happiness and does not make life richer and fuller, the fault lies not in the bonds of marriage; fault in the people who are bound by them.

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Marriage is a Divine rite. He was part of God's plan when He created man. It is the closest and the most Holy Union on earth.

After marriage first and foremost responsibility of the husband towards his wife, and the wife against the husband. They two have to live together, give each other life. Before each was imperfect. Marriage is the joining of two halves into a unified whole. Two lives are tied together in such close Union that they are no longer two lives, but one. Each to the end of his life bears the sacred responsibility for the happiness and highest good of the other.

The wedding day need to always remember and emphasize among other important dates in life. It is a day whose light the rest of your life will cover all the other days.

The first lesson you need to learn and practice is patience. In the beginning of family life are found as dignity of character and temper, and weaknesses and peculiarities of habits, tastes, temperament, about which the second half was not suspected. Sometimes it seems impossible to get used to each other, but patience and love overcome everything, and two lives merge into one, more noble, strong, full, rich, and this life will continue in peace.

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The main requisite in a family is unselfish love. Everyone needs to forget his “I”, devoting himself to another. Everyone should blame yourself and not the other, when something goes wrong. Requires perseverance and patience, the impatience can spoil everything. A sharp word can for months to slow down the merging of souls. Both sides must be willing to make the marriage happy and to overcome all that hinders it. The strongest love has the greatest need to daily strengthen it. More unforgivable rudeness it is in your home, towards those whom we love.

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Another secret of bliss in married life is attention to each other. The husband and wife should constantly show each other signs of the most tender attention and love. Happiness of life is made up of individual moments, of small, quickly forgettable pleasures of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and countless small but kind thoughts and sincere feelings. Love too needs its daily bread.






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Another important element in married life is unity of interest. Nothing concern of the wife should not appear too small for even the gigantic intellect of the greatest of men. On the other hand, each wise and faithful wife will willingly interest herself in her husband. Let both hearts share the joy and the suffering. Let them share the burden of care. Let everything in life they will have in common. They should together go to Church, pray together, work together to bring to the footsteps of God the burden of cares about their children and all that is precious to them. Why would they not discuss with each other their temptations, doubts, secret desires and help each other with compassion and words of encouragement. so they will live one life, not two. Everyone in their plans and hopes must think of the other. From each other there should be no secrets. Friends they should be. Thus, the two lives will merge into one life and they will share thoughts, desires, and feelings, joy and sorrow, pleasure, and pain each other.

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Be afraid the slightest beginning of misunderstanding or alienation. Instead of having to hold back, is pronounced unwise, careless word – and that's between two hearts that were one, there was a small crack, it spreads and spreads until, before they are forever separated from each other. You said something in a hurry? Ask forgiveness immediately. You are having some misunderstanding? No matter whose fault it is, don't let him even for an hour be stuck in the middle.

Refrain from quarreling. Do not go to sleep holding in my heart the feeling of anger. Family life should not be a place of pride. You should never coddle your sense of injured pride and meticulously to figure out exactly who needs to apologize. Truly loving casuistry do not, they are always ready to give in and apologize.

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In the device home must attend every family member, and complete family happiness can be attained only when everyone fulfills his or her duties.

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No woman in the world will ever have to worry about sharp or thoughtless words flying from your lips as your own wife. And most in the world fear to offend her. Love does not give one the right to behave rudely towards someone you love. The closer the relationship, the harder the heart from the look, tone, gestures or words that speak of such a goal.

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Not only the happiness of the life of her husband depends on the wife, but also the development and growth of his character. A good wife is Heaven's blessing, the best gift for a husband, his angel and the source of innumerable blessings: her voice is the sweetest music, her smile lights up his day, her kiss the guardian of his faithfulness, her hands – the balm of his health and his life, her hard work is the key to its wealth, her economy his most trusted steward, her lips his best counselor, her bosom is the softest pillow on which to forget all worries and her prayers be his advocate before God.






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The first requirement for a wife is faithfulness, faithfulness in the broadest sense. Her husband's heart should be able to trust her without fear. Absolute trust is the Foundation of true love. The shadow of doubt destroys the harmony of family life. It is very important that the husband can trust his loyal wife doing all the household chores, knowing that everything will be fine. The wastefulness and extravagance of wives have destroyed the happiness of many couples.

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Every loyal wife becomes your spouse's interests. When he was hard, she tries to encourage him with compassion, a manifestation of his love. She enthusiastically supports all his plans. She is never a burden on his legs. It is the power in his heart, which helps him to do better. Not all wives are blessings for their husbands. Some women can be compared to a creeping ivy that encircles a mighty oak – her husband.

A true wife makes her husband's life nobler, greater, paying his power, his love for sublime goals. When trusting and loving, she crouches to him, she awakens in him the most rich and noble traits of his nature. In it she encourages courage and responsibility. She makes his life wonderful, softens the harsh and coarse his habits, if any.

But there are also wives who are like parasitic plants. They encircle, but do not share anything. They do not extend a helping hand. They are absolutely useless and as such they become a burden to the most tender love. Instead of trying to make a man's life stronger, richer, happier, they only hamper his success. The result for them is also lamentable. A faithful wife embraces her husband, but she also helps and inspires. Her husband in all aspects of your life feels like it helps him her love. The good wife – the Keeper of the family hearth.

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Some women think only of romantic ideals and everyday neglect their duties and fail to strengthen their marital happiness. Often, the most tender love dies and the reason for this is the confusion, carelessness, poor housekeeping.

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The wife always needs the most care to please her husband and not someone else. When two of them are alone, she must look even better and not to give up on their appearance once more no one was watching her. Instead of having to be vibrant and attractive to the company, and left alone, to fall into a melancholy and silent, the wife should remain fun and attractive and when she stays together with her husband in their quiet home. Both husband and wife should give each other the best of me.

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The main center of a person's life should be his home. It is a place where children grow physically, strengthen their health, and absorb everything that will make them true and noble men and women. In the house, where children grow up, their environment and everything that happens affects them, and even the smallest detail can have a great or harmful effects. Wherever a child was reared, and his character, affected impressions of the places where he grew up. The richest legacy that parents can leave their children is a happy childhood, with tender memories of father and mother. It will light the coming days, will keep them from temptation and help the harsh realities of life, when children leave the parental roof.

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Parents should be what they want to see their children – not in words but in deeds. They need to teach children the life.






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Children must learn self-denial. They can't have everything they want. They should learn to reject their own desires for the sake of others. They should also learn to be thoughtful. Children need to learn to be of use to parents and to each other. They can do it without requiring undue attention, causing others worries and fears for me. As soon as they get a little older, children must learn to rely on yourself, learn to do without the help of others to become strong and independent.

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The duty of parents to prepare children for life, for any trials that God may send them.published

 

From the book “Marvelous light.” Diary entries, correspondence, biography of the Empress Alexandra Feodorovna Romanova. The compiler of the book the nun Nektarios (IAC Liz). Publishing House Russian Pilgrim Of The Valaam Society Of America, Moscow, 2009.

 

Also interesting: family values – do they make sense

Irritation and 5 stages of degradation of the family

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.babyblog.ru/user/radyuszhizni/159473

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