How we live depends on what we have in mind

Our life depends on many different factors, many of which we cannot change. For example, karma as a kind of totality of the past "merit" that we have to work out. But there is something that is subject only to ourselves, and what determines our tomorrow.

They say that being determines consciousness. So. From where and how we live, shaped our values, our mood. Formed itself naturally. But in the life of a reasonable person this saying works the other way around – consciousness determines being. That is, how we live depends on what we have in mind.

Human consciousness — or the trash, or flower bed. Some see only bad everywhere, difficulties, differences, contradictions, dirt. Others see good, happy and kind.

In fact, in this world there is both. Aplenty. About equally. Any person can find a lot of good or a lot of bad smelling. Any religion has Holy men and cleanliness, and there are those who disgrace it. In every country there are strengths and there are cons. The only question is, on what we focus. Because this is our life and will.

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When I post in Instagram posts about India (and I love this country, and every year I spend here a couple of months), the reaction is different. On the same photo one can see the simplicity and ease, others the poverty and wretchedness that some people see the cleanliness, other – dirt. And everything seems to be right, because in India you can find everything at once. But on the other hand it is worth considering if I see only this, what's going on in my head? I focused? On the shortcomings, problems, ugliness? I can see all beauty and purity? And this is not only about India, India is only an example.

If we are not able to see the good and focus on it, and the whole of our life will be joyless. We're a man of virtues will not see, really can not, and children will see the flaws and deal with them, and even in yourself — instead of "good morning, sunshine!"in front of a mirror we'd rather think: "well, Hello, old toad!".

Sometimes women who have everything, can't be happy, because in the minds garbage. And everything seems to be there – my husband does not drink and does not change, but socks spreads. Not noticing anything good in the husband, some socks wife is ready to divorce. Children is – you can be happy, millions of women dream about it day and night. But if you only see the sleepless nights and the whims, ignoring the smiles and new skills of the baby, the motherhood no joy will bring. Quite.

Habits are stronger than us. We always appreciate all. Saw a man and immediately hung some label. What? Depends on what we focus, what we have in mind. For someone people will respect, and for someone – on the contrary, the object of rejection.

Same gift, different women take different. Someone and a little souvenir – this is primarily a manifestation of love, and someone brilliant will be too small.

We (especially women) the majority are set to search for flaws. We always see all the flaws, know what and how to improve. And we sincerely believe that it is not because only good things to say, to see only good! This is not the real picture! You can't be in pink glasses! Us in childhood have been taught to not put on airs, be sure to put the emphasis on the shortcomings. And ordinary life is set up so that as long as you behave, you do not pay attention, not praise, not rewarded. But should you be guilty – and a whole bunch of consequences – fines, issues, lecture, courts investigation. Notice mistakes immediately, and good deeds pass by.

We don't know how to make compliments and to receive them from others. But we very well know how to criticize, to laugh at others, using sarcasm to humiliate and poke at the flaws. To us it is just – it's so striking!

I remember two of my friends after meeting with a young man tried to convince each other that they were wrong. One shouted that he had a hole in his socks, and then he is a slob. Another talked about how he is helpful and caring. The first considered him an unworthy candidate for communication, and the second – prospective Beau. The man is the same. They communicate together in a common company. But the conclusions are different. And Yes, the first is still not married, looking perfect on all counts, and the second is happily married. Yeah, her husband with the sky stars is not enough, but about family care and children with wife loves.

Every time I write notes about travel, I write only about the good. Because good all a lot. Different is good. And every time some people write, like, what kind of idealization, and you know that but in India, the dirt, poverty and squalor, Muslims beat their wives to death, baliki work for peanuts and can't get divorced, hottie ugly girls in the States all thick…

And so on and so forth. Although it often happens that these people often have never been in India or in Muslim countries, draw their own conclusions on some news and stories "a distant friend". Not seen anything with my own eyes, have not lived the experience of his heart, but the opinion is they have, and very hard. Negative.

I do not idealize any country in the world. I know that there are always cons, and in many traditional cultures there are extremes. As in our incivility and Western feminism.

But I prefer to see all the good, which in other places not. What you can learn – again, such things are in any part of the world.

Something that can enrich my inner world. Something that can help me become happier. So I prefer to talk about good things. And in General, and with their readers. Because I want to be happy — and that you were happy too.

Garbage – contagious. Garbage sometimes much more attractive. All sorts of reality shows, where people sink lower and lower, be incredibly popular. The TV has channels all day and night scandals-murder-investigation-nightmares-mud. And people watch it all, infected, stain your consciousness all this shit and then can't stop and also begin to carry it to the outside world. But why? Stop, look at what is happening inside of you. Do you really want to live exactly in all this?

Our consciousness defines our existence. If the mind is trash, and life a mess. If consciousness — a flower bed (even in a very hard external data, but all the same — bed), and life is like a flowerbed.

The only question is how we focusareas and that collected in my head, in my heart. What used to see, something to obsess over and what to give more importance to.

Keep in mind the trash – easy. This has nothing to do with you, will blame all around, the world is unfair and terrible. After all to consider the men the goats is easier than to learn to understand and accept. Easier to live alone than to adapt to her husband, his parents, while trying and not to lose.

And instead of balancing like a tightrope Walker, many women consciously choose loneliness. Easier to work in the hated office, than to find itself, and realize — well it's scary, risky, and even peck. Easier to believe that child molesters, from each of their whim to take a picture of the person and his pose as a Martyr. Or not to give birth, and disgust to look at them. Well, it is really easier! It is easier to trust that things will heal, than to learn to perform their duties and to love. Easier to live like everything to go their way, which has to be found. Easier to gather around the garbage and spread them around. Any super. True, and happiness is no, and the flavors so-so.

But to grow the flowers need to try. Learn to give thanks, to celebrate good. Even the husband who throws socks, you can find a million good qualities, some of them are still in their infancy, and without the power and support can die. Even mother-in-law, who doesn't love you, you can find a good. For example, she gave birth to and raised your husband. In any most difficult situation there is always something for which to thank God. At least, that you are alive, you have family, have a place to live and what to eat.

That's what I call – "create your own flower bed" in the mind. It's harder, but at the prospect of a nicer and happier. Want to try? published 

Author: Olga Valyaeva P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/pochemu-lyudi-zhivut-po-raznomu/