The dangerous depression, or How to get rid of the nagging

You want to test your memory? Try to remember what you complained about a year ago.
Leonard Thomas
When we started the business, the first employees were taken to work on the principle of "like the person or not." Since we were inexperienced, the first got hired, because the important thing was to "take the man." As a result, I have seen this picture many times:

"Today we have a total of 200 clicks ... and there is no call," - says the reason I reproach the man in charge behind our contextual advertising
. "There was one client, but he refused ..." - establishes the fact of "prodazhnik" with an expression of sorrow on the face of the world
. Or any problem talk and sit with sad eyes, looking at my reaction. Somewhere in my heart I felt it was wrong. Nevertheless, I support these people: "Come on, do not worry, now everyone reconfigure!" Or "Come on now decide, I'll call the customer - will understand!" That is, I had to be included, to invest their energy in the home and to taxi situation. The next day, the story was repeated.
Brighten the behavior of people - namely, the victim's position, drawn in the business of youth. If you watch our group VKontakte, you will find an interesting trend. On the first day after the occupation of 100% of comments filled with enthusiasm and energy. There were such: "Everything! Oh! I turned over the world, my cockroaches all have died "," I want, I'll do it, no one and nothing can stop me now ... "However, 30% of the group on the second day are already beginning to whine:" Something very few clicks ... "," Niche kind of stupid ... "" Three ring, zero sales. "
People noted the lack of calls at 20 clicks, not even realizing that the normal conversion percentage - 1%. Of the twenty clicks 1% - this is only the thumb or human ankle. Ankles are not able to call! That's interesting! A person already says that this niche no results.
It's funny that, and our employees, and friends, and students noted the fact of their own failure with the air, as if someone else is to blame! Once the lesson to me during a break in a woman came up with the claim and uttered: "I could not find a niche!» «Game over», - what can I say. In Russia, it is impossible to do business. I always wonder: what is the recognition that you did not work


Sick child
How could we have taken in the craving for whining? And where does all everything in the world? Of course, from my childhood. The role of the victim as a child gave us a lot of advantages. When we are ill or fell from the bike, parents are throwing everything and brought a tray of all the bonuses, which in the normal state should also deserve.
"Do you have high temperature! My God! Poor thing, lyubimenky, honey, say whatever you want! To school tomorrow, do not go. A bike? Puppy? Toy? Lie down and do nothing. I'll bring it myself! "And what happens when we go back to the original" healthy "state? All bonuses are canceled. "Has recovered? So, tomorrow at eight in the morning to school. Lessons did? »
Our brains are not stupid. Yes, and we do too. behavior since childhood strategy applied in adulthood. That's just what the results lead -. It is a matter
Our identity in the context of
When I began to study the theme of "whining" deeper, my business partner Sergey Kapustin told me an interesting concept that he saw Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins - one of the greatest contemporary American thinkers. Height under twenty two, palms, like ten of mine, and a feeling that it can swallow you whole. In general, a healthy man in the prime of life. The meaning of the concept of the interconnectedness of our sense of self, beliefs and actions that we do.

According to this concept, personality is a set of shells, which is located in the center of the core, or ID. ID - this is the most profound essence of the human, self-identification. The way we feel: "Budding Student", "The Man with the wrong-doers," "Held businessman" or "entrepreneur Young future, however, has no money, but this is temporary." The core of the most difficult to change, but it is self-identification forms the next level -
beliefs. Persuasion - is an individual's perception of what is good and what is bad, what works and what does not, what is right and what is wrong. Such beliefs, as "the Internet - this is garbage" or "Internet - it is a working tool", "You have to sell in person," or "You have to sell at a call", "For business need the money," or "All men - the goats." Any descriptive characteristics of our reality are our beliefs. Beliefs form the next level, which is called abilities.
Our ability - our skills to implement anything. Can we do something or we can not, and if we can, how? - The question is, which characterizes the level of our abilities. Abilities arise according to our beliefs. If we believe that Yandex may give calls, they at least are possible; if we think that Yandex - this is something incomprehensible, then where we will have the ability to configure it correctly
? Abilities provoke behavioral model: action or inaction. Depending on what kind of ability you have.
That's the way our reality and formed. An indicator of reality are the people who surround us. Do you feel comfortable with people who think and behave in the same way as you. This always tends to like. If a person does not agree with you or live according to other principles, you inevitably moves away from him. Your circle of friends is the most accurate your projections and the key to unlocking your own "I».
Antilichnost and
antisposobnosti Now, each of these levels will add the prefix "anti" or a minus sign. So, we get antiID. Beliefs that should develop, in turn antiubezhdeniya which lead to degradation. Abilities are antisposobnostyami. Failure to receive calls, the inability to get a customer. But granted the ability to lose, lose calls and destroy the business.
Thus, a person realizes antipovedenie and even more strengthens own antiID. Whining in this story plays a major role, and it's scary. An eerie phenomenon that not only prevents a person to go up and wrap it like a corkscrew, a reality from which every day is more difficult to get out.
Up or down?
Let us return to our sheep, oh, excuse me, to our environment. For fun, take exercise. Take a piece of paper and number numbers one to ten in a column. After that, the right of each figure write the names of people with whom you communicate all denser.
It can be your friends, your significant other, your colleagues and even your neighbors - the people with whom you spend the most time. Then put the right of the arrow "up" if this person contributes to the achievement of your goal (like a help, support and believe in you). Put the arrow "down" if this man by his actions, emotions or words prevents the achievement of goals. Just be honest with yourself. The most difficult will be to put the arrows to the right of the parents. For example, to recognize that in fact your father pulls you down, do not believe in you.

See how many arrows "up" and "down" you got. From this exercise, you can make the main conclusion. If the number of arrows "down" more than the number of arrows "up", thoroughly think about yourself, not whether you are a whiner?
Mom, you - a whiner, forgiving
! Entrepreneurs live in terms of feasibility. Not that is right or wrong, and that leads to the target. Say the phrase "provider sent us," moves you to the goal? Well, at least it moves a millimeter? Why then say it? Nagging not lead to the goal, then it is inappropriate. It sucks the energy out of you and others.
I remember very well in 2008. Then I worked with one company that is engaged in the search of personnel. I distinctly remember the atmosphere that enveloped me when I crossed the threshold of the office. The entire staff from the director to the cleaners every day quoted summary of the coming crisis: "There was fired 200 people. Abbreviations touched even the Western companies. Koganovich also dismissed. We all will die". Even the air was saturated with sadness. Instead of wasting energy on finding solutions and out of the situation, all spent it to self-destruct.
It is advisable to remove all the whiners out of their environment, how would you as it may be difficult. Another question, saying, "Mom, you - a whiner, farewell! Sorry, we said so "- is not worth it. Change your attitude toward whining. As for the aching staff - definitely dismiss. As for friends, whiners - ask yourself whether you need such a friend
. Hunt for
whiners The first step towards the eradication of whining - change attitude towards it. If nagging ceases to be normal for you and begin to annoy you, you can get rid of it. Let's see how this happens.
First of all, once again re-read your blog posts, read your notes and observe your thoughts, statements, dialogues. For fun fix, many of them directed in a positive way and gives the energy feeding the other party, and how many of them contains the energy leech. Watch the track intercept.
Each time, making any statement, especially when it relates to some problems, ask yourself: "Well, I said it, so what? I moved even a millimeter phrase that I have just now said, to my goal? Or, conversely, it pushed me to step back into the past, to screw me like a corkscrew, in the current state of affairs? »
The second - again back to the environment. An interesting phenomenon is described in articles by Steve Pavlina says that our world is a projection of our own. The projection of our inner world, including the people are. People - excellent indicators of our own «I»
. If you try to speculate in this way, there is an interesting observation. Everyone around us is a symbol of a quality in ourselves. For example, a quality reflected in you is your father? What is your trait is reflected in your mother? And your boss?
What do you think of these qualities? The key is to work on their qualities and skills lies in your relationship to the qualities of others. If you can not tolerate laziness in the other person, it means that you do not like lazy lazy confidence. If you do not like talkative people, it is possible that you are a chatterbox, and also do not like in this attribute.
Understanding this mechanism, watching him, ask yourself "What would reflect in your surrounding?", You can display the nagging as one of the qualities. Observe how you feel about the whining even in their environment. Maybe you do sometimes get a sadomasochistic pleasure from the fact that you are taken aback someone bad news, and the fact that you yourself admitted that bad. Therefore, as long as this continues, whining and be screwed you back to the current reality.
You have a question?
If you listen carefully to your inner dialogue, you can keep track of what questions we ask ourselves. According to Tony Robbins, thinking - this is the process of setting them answer questions and search. It follows that, in order to obtain the correct answers and the correct results, it is necessary to ask the right questions. People-negative whiners ask questions that lead them in a circle, and a negative impact on the results.
And because we are constantly mentally ask ourselves questions and answer them, they are quite powerful influence on the reality that we see. So, the questions can be constructive - aimed at solving problems - and destructive spoiling your mood and giving nothing but masks Weltschmerz. Here are a few examples.
"Why do I have and do not have a single call? Why it does not work? Why nobody wants my product / service "pronouncing that in mind, you ask a question your mind, and it is, oddly enough, gives the answer:" Because I do not have higher education. Because the Internet is not working. Because bad niche. »
Even without putting a question mark at the end, you still every thought and phrase your question asking the subconscious. It responds by adjusting the reality in which you are, according to your questions. It can not help but respond. Your subconscious mind does not want to hurt you or help. The subconscious - the item is in the car - just a link between the pulses of your brain and your behavior. Your conduct gives results that define reality. So too it is arranged.
Or you can ask yourself and other structural issues:
"What can I change in a sentence or in advertising that calls go? How can I speed up yourself? It may be worthwhile to test other items? »
The subconscious mind will perceive these issues and inevitably will give the answer in the form of new ideas, solutions, new acquaintances, and your actions. You see the difference? Remember the questions themselves at least for today. What do you think, what kind of responses you receive from your subconscious?
Why do I get?
Any question finds an answer. And each answer is true. Try to ask yourself "Why do I get?" If you are not asked this question myself before, to get answers to it will not be easy. However, even small advances have their reasons. How did you decide to do your own business? Where had the courage to still not give up? What led you to this article?
Answers to the question "Why do you get" will form the most important thing - the foundation you as a businessman. You used to play in the business, knowing that you are actually a poor student. Now with each new answer below you will be erected foundations. Whiners, looking at you, they say: "He is a lucky, he has such experience / he speaks perfect English / handsome he / it started early, etc." In the end, you'll see that you, It is, in fact, a businessman.
Michael Dasha


See also

New and interesting