TOO good mother Bashny.Net

Since my childhood I was sure that I would be a wonderful mother. Because I:

a) five years already knew how to swaddle a professional industrial PUPS pace (thanks mom-midwife);

b) seven years knew that the children taken from the fish, which run in the tummy uncle aunts (thanks to her friend Gale);

c) in eight years he was able to correctly insert into the baby bottle and upload it to the stroller to fainting (thanks to his younger brother).




In twelve years, I memorized a doctor antenatal clinic directory, studied childhood diseases for allowance for nurses and detail zakonspektirovat magazines Binder "Family and School" and "Health" in the last twenty years. Thank alphabetically.

At thirteen, I learned that I could theoretically become a mother. Thank you, "Olveyz»

At eighteen, almost became practical. Thank you, Bob.

At twenty-three, I decided that the children - it is very responsible. A good mother must first prepare the material base, to become a candidate of sciences and meticulously choose the sperm donor. Thank you, Mujeres Libers.

Nine months after this decision, it became obvious that I'll never be the very good mother, which "should". Thanks to the eldest daughter.

Also I wish to thank the children's doctor and therapist Donald Winnicott, who half a century ago, coined the term "good enough mother". He allowed the mothers of the planet is not to be perfect. It turns out that my mother have the right to make a mistake. They may be tired, annoyed at the babies, they may even - horror of horrors! - Do not iron hot iron diaper from both sides after boiling. And at the same time be good enough mother.

And by the way, my book Dr. Winnicott fell into the hands of only a year after I iron. On both sides. And the floors twice daily soap to a child not breathing dust. And I wake up at night every forty minutes to the crib to feed, rock to sleep. In order not to spoil the child in his bed. Well, there is not a child of tit crush, second size - no joke

! After two weeks of this life, I came down with a temperature of forty-one and one, and in the brain for life blown indicator dirty floors and neglazhenyh diapers. And passed out that half of the brain that between diapers that some food that some other more and dissertations written in the decrees.

Still, I wanted to be perfect. After all, the ideal mother - she what? She is calm, like a tombstone. The skirt below the knee, nails cut short. She has always rebyatenochek clean. Quietly. No yelling. Legs not Sucitu. Others do not interfere. If say, the small and to the point. And in two languages. Basically, the word mother's gratitude for her mother's feat. The ideal mother owes twenty-four hours a day to think about the happiness of their child. A child will be grateful to look his mother in the mouth. And nowhere else. Until his retirement.

I envied the girls in my youth, whose mother had been a girlfriend. They gossiped about each other is different. We went together hand in hand. Giggling about something else. However, some of these girls in their 30+ still giggling about something else entirely with their mothers until now. Why? Because they have a very good mother. From these do not go away.

I think it is much easier to break away from family and begin to build something of their own, when the father's house, with the family parents getting crowded, poor and conflict. You can slam the door and live with her boyfriend, or quietly sdrysnut study in another town and never come back. If the answer will be a loud curse and threaten to disinherit - it will only strengthen the desire to secede

. From too good mothers do not leave. They will remove your hands flat in a good area. Or arrange to college closer to home in order to get close. If in such hands, slam the door, at the very good mother can happen cardiac rupture. And if sdrysnut quiet, the too-good mother, of course, will not say anything, but the ungrateful offspring wine fiercely zagryzet death.

If you recall the experience of our birth (suddenly who will?), Then certainly within the mother was well. While we were there were still fish. But when you're already trehkilogrammovoe biped, it becomes somehow demeaning to hang upside down with tucked behind his ear with his heels. We now know that the process of birth initiates the fruit. Obviously, at the time when the inside is sufficiently bad, to leave the cozy, but tight living space. Au would be good there, what fool would have got there on their own ?!

Best-presamye very good mother, is seen in densely populated Japan. They are generally, according to the magazine "Around the World" - a paragon of virtue, the mother of Japan. Clever, beautiful, always cook at home eat, her husband a glass of sake will meet, for children up to forty years are allowed not to work.

However, the same phenomenon Nihon came with a funny name hikikomori. That's when the teenager suddenly locked in her room or in the kitchen, turn off the phone stops communicating with the world, drop out of school, institute, social networks ... and lives exclusively in their own little world, sometimes with the Internet, sometimes only with a collection dvd anime.

Said a young man lived in the kitchen bezvylazno five years. His parents built a different cuisine, but one where the offspring closed regularly pushes food under the door.

Mylos child once a month, when there was no one in the apartment. But generally speaking, in Japan, not only mothers are good, but lousy school. I mean, there are strict in their schools. Again the characters, I would myself in the kitchen is closed.

In general, the most inveterate perfect mother - a Child free. They are fully aware of how difficult it would have fragile children in this terrible, terrible world. And responsibly prefer that they no uncle no fish are not running. Thank you for Durex.

Author: Svetlana Panina